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Wendrenhood

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Author's note: I'm still working on it and am adding on every day. Please comment on anything and tell me how you like it.
Author's note: I'm still working on it and am adding on every day. Please comment on anything and tell me how you like it.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 9 Next »

Tannin

The slats on the small door rattled under a banging fist.
"Hold on, I'm coming..." yelled the old farmer from the back part of his home. He shrugged into his tunic that lay on the large wooden table where he and his family ate their meals. His wife had mended his shirt the night before and his many children were beginning to stir with the small sounds of patting feet and giggles. The farmer opened the old door as the fist began to pound on the wood. "What's the hurry," he grumbled.
I'm just giving important character details that will lead up to an important meeting. Tannin is one of many evil creatures trying to harness Amilynn's powers.
A man of great stature stood in his doorway, a long sword hung at his belt, and a dark cloak shadowed the features of the strangers face. What little sun did shine this early in the morning would not have been able to show the man's face under all the cloth of the cloaks he wore. Those cloaks billowed around him in the breeze that had been dying from a previous storm that had ravaged the small town. "I've come for the girl," and with that he stepped into the smokey room, knocking passed the old farmer. His wife came into the cluttered room carrying a child, her eyes cast down on the floor.
"Who are you?"
The stranger ignored the blind woman and started to walk to the kitchen were several children had gathered to gawk. His hand lay on the glittering hilt while he eyed each child carefully. He was here to find the girl. "Where is the girl who is not to be yours?"
The farmer had just started to get over the fact that the cloaked stranger had invaded his home. Meanwhile his wife's voice had risen in pitch with her panic. Her voice cut the old mans heart like a dagger, his breath caught in his chest and he thought, surely I will die here today.
Suddenly, a very handsome boy clambered down the stairs that led from the loft. He hadn't nearly seen two decades, if that, but he pulled a dull sword and pointed the blade at the intruder. His dark hair and eyes seemed even darker in the light of the hearth while he studied the strange man standing in his home. "Leave, Stranger. We don't want trouble."
"Then put your sword away,child. I am only seeking a female child who belongs with me. I've searched for her and I know she is here, somewhere." The stranger had a thick accent, but spoke clearly enough. His voice rang through the house and cut through all the chatter. The house now lay in a thick fog of silence. "She would be nearing her nineteenth birthday on the full moon. Her coming here was an accident by an incompetent comrade who was defeated by a horde of draggs in the foothills. So, I ask again, where is she? I truly do not wish to harm, you or your family, Farmer.
The farmer had started shaking, his pride and joy was going to be stripped away from him. His beautiful daughter, taken y this stranger, but yet he could not risk getting the rest of his family injured or killed. In the his heart he knew that this day would eventually come. Children of specialties are not left by coincidence. "She's out in the forest behind the house. There's a path that will lead you right to her." His wife had begun weeping and now let out a wail that made him cringe. She had never seen the girl, but she had brought back the life in the old man's wife that no one else could. He staggered to his wife and held her hand as the stranger turned to leave. The young boy who had pulled his sword now lunged at the cloaked man.
With one smooth movement the stranger caught the blade with his hand and knocked the boy on his rear. The sword clattered to the ground a foot away. The boy looked as if he was going to cry, but the stranger did not hesitate to continue on his way out of the home. He expected much more violence or struggle from the family so his job was made easy. He truly did not want to kill the family. He knew that before the next full moon his men will have to do that job, but the man was glad that the debt of life would not be on his hands tonight. Outside the sun had spread some glow on the world, and his horse waited impatiently as the man swiftly climbed onto it's slick back. Tannin, the servant of Lady Morgan, had found the princess, Amilynn, of Wendrenhood and would now be able to go back to his family, his dept repaid.
Tannin, quickly finding the well worn path that the princess had taken, clicked at his horse to continue forward. He had known that the man had not been lying. His gift was reading minds, and his infinity was with the spirit as knowing the truth when spoken came naturally. There was no way that any human man could lie to him and that assurance had never led him astray. He could still hear the cries of the blind woman and her family. Tannin could not help but feel sorry for her, she was losing a child she had never seen, and her husband was not far from the grave if he had to take a guess. The two had many children together so the woman would not be alone and the farm would be tended to. Why was he worried about this family, maybe he needed a break from work. Ya, all he needed was time with his own family. The path was easy enough to follow as the sun filtered through the trees, casting long shadows across the way. He wondered if she would run and hide. He smiled to himself and thought about how that would make for an exciting hunt. His horse grunted and began to move a little faster up a slight hill. The trees began to grow thicker, but that was not what the horse was anxious about. About twenty yeards up the path was a beautiful mare. Her coat was solid white, her mane was braided with flowers woven in, and her coat was clean and well kept.
Silently, Tannin slid off his pure black stallion and began stalking the trail for any signs of the young lady. He would have to use the element of surprise to catch her, but he could persuade her as well. His mind reading powers doubled and mind controlling, but he was told that his powers may not effect her at all. He would just have to find out for himself. He lowered himself closer to the ground, his footsteps making no sounds on the wet earth. His eyes were straining to catch any movement as he approached a ring of trees. Sure enough, the girl lay across a large stone slab that jutted out of the ground. The birch trees that formed a circular wall around her shielded her vision from him. The girl was beautiful with long sun golden locks that fell well past her slender shoulders. He bare feet swung over the edge of the rock in a innocent manner, her hands folded against her chest where her bosom was hidden under folded layers of a green flowing dress. She was slender and lean, but had a delicate and fragile look. Tannin was not yet close enough to see her facial features, but he was going to have to make his move before she notices his presence.
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 9 Next »


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This book has 11 comments. Post your own now!

alwayswithknivesandpens This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:08 pm
ps you have a typo, i think you meant "by" not "y" here: His beautiful daughter, taken y this stranger, 
 
KateLynnLeigh replied...
Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm
thanks, ya i meant by
 
alwayswithknivesandpens This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

The stranger ignored the blind woman and started to walk to the kitchen were several children had gathered to gawk. His hand lay on the glittering hilt while he eyed each child carefully. He was here to find the girl. "Where is the girl who is not to be yours?"

 

i think personally, you could make it a lot better if you were to make this stranger more intriquing, does that make sense? i think if you were to suggest that he eminated a sense of mystery and make him seem very ... (more »)

 
KateLynnLeigh replied...
Apr. 16, 2012 at 3:17 pm
ya, makes sense. thanks :) it's very helpful.
 
camboking19 said...
Mar. 28, 2012 at 6:51 pm

nice really pops

 

 
KateLynnLeigh replied...
Mar. 29, 2012 at 7:51 am
Thanks :) I'm really trying to add on to it with my blog... it doesn't take nearly as long as it does on here, but teen ink is really nice to use.
 
98jazzy98 said...
Mar. 27, 2012 at 9:49 pm
I really enjoyed reading this! I can't wait for more! 
 
pitt98 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 6, 2012 at 9:28 pm
The part i read sounds really good. To make things longer, make each paragraph an "exploded moment" including as much detail as possible. For example "what did the slats of wood" look or feel like?
 
kkizzee05 replied...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 2:39 pm
Thank you. :)
 
Writer_Jordan said...
Mar. 4, 2012 at 6:12 pm
I just began to read it, and already I am in awe of your descriptive talent. I've been working on a book myself, and I know how long it takes to craft tales such as this. I'll keep reading!
 
kkizzee05 replied...
Mar. 5, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Thank you, it means a lot. I really do love to write... I really just came up with this concept a few weeks ago... any feedback would be great.
 

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