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Hunter's Point

Allie rae J.
Hunter's Point
Summary: I was signed up almost immediately. I was stuck out in the Wash Room, to clean out the shower floors and scrub down the toilet stalls. This day in particular though, we were separated so as I cleaned the Wash Room, Tracey cleaned the kitchen, others did laundry and so on and so forth. While down on my hands and knees scrubbing away a stubborn stain in the ground a voice approached me. It scared me, I gulp in my breath, afraid to scream. The voice says to me, “Don’t say anything, and don’t look up.” I wasn’t even planning to but my head and mind were in two separate places. I slam my head back down so the voice continues, “Listen to what I’m about to tell you,” Quickly I nod, “This just may be another Holocaust. I know you Paige,” My heart stops, “I want you to live. At this point you can save no one but yourself.” The lips continued to move, I felt them against my ear, but the words became more and more foreign. My heart was beating too loud and my inner voice continued to ask Who is this? My mind began begging as the lips moved slower and slower, Please Paige think! The lips pulled away,
“Wait!” I call, my head was risen now, but the person stood behind me.
“Repeat what you said, please, slower this time. I’m hard of hearing,”
I could here the smirk in their tone, “If only you knew who you were lying to.” As the footsteps became more and more distant, I release out a sigh. Without my awareness I begin crying loud, long sobs. My last sign of hope, I let slip away. I was never fit for survival of any sort. Me nor my Mom. Not as Paige Macy or Hunter. I was going to die. That was a real reason to cry.

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This book has 19 comments. Post your own now!

Alixchica66 said...
Jul. 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Snerd, this was a very enjoyable read :) I liked it very much...you should definitly keep writing!
Rocker_Girl_SilentChaos said...
Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:20 pm
Amazing work, i would love to read more!
SN3RD replied...
Jul. 6, 2012 at 11:38 pm
thank you :)
albinotiger said...
Jul. 5, 2012 at 5:36 pm
whoa vey intence and creepy I LOVE IT
AugustSunshine said...
Jul. 1, 2012 at 4:57 pm
The summary really grabbed my attention, this is really awesome :) Keep writing!
RunningNDfree said...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 2:59 pm
It would be nice to have some tag lines (he said/she said) because sometimes the dialogue gets confusing. But, even though it doesn't seem like it, this book kept me interested! I like it.
SN3RD replied...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 11:38 am
Thanks! Where's the rest of Forever Young? ^.^
musicalginger replied...
Jul. 4, 2012 at 1:06 am
Ur an amazing writer keep writing never slow down you'll go far
SN3RD replied...
Jul. 5, 2012 at 5:35 pm
That means so much to me, thanks :)
RunningNDfree replied...
Aug. 24, 2012 at 8:30 pm
SN3RD I'm am terribly sorry for not replying to you before this (yes, I realize it's been 8 months) but when one doesn't check one's school email for that long (mostly due to it being blocked!) one doesn't realize what one has missed.  I actually haven't worked on Forever Young in a long time and I feel awful for it, but I just haven't had time or motivation.  Perhaps this weekend I'll pick it up again?  Did I give you the link to Wattpad where it&#... (more »)
Acastillo said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 11:38 pm
It was very creative and very different than anything I have ever heard. I really enjoyed reading this:)
SN3RD replied...
Dec. 22, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Thanks a bunch your feedback means a ton to me :D
AnimaCordis said...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 1:41 pm

I like your use of diolog within here, although it was at times difficult to tell who was speaking. 

It was a very good peice, I enjoyed reading it.

SN3RD replied...
Nov. 29, 2011 at 8:19 pm
Thank you so much! I sincerely appreciate your feedback :)
Jellybeann said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:49 pm
read the summary. Seems like an intense story, i love it! good job and keep the work up, you are great at this! :)
SN3RD replied...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm
thank you, you as well :)
kurozora said...
Nov. 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Great use of dialogue. I really connected with Paige. Usually I get irritated with overly sarcastic characters, but for some reason she really does well in a sarcastic tone. Also, excellent job creating the setting. It's hard to make a fictional setting believable, so I give you extra props for that! Wonderful. The only thing is a few grammer mistakes here and there, but it's minimal. I hope you're writing more, I really want the story to develop! :)
SN3RD replied...
Nov. 6, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Thank You :) I'll post the other chapters soon and i'll be waiting for your's to Red Soul as well :)


SN3RD said...
Nov. 6, 2011 at 10:41 am
I'd love for those who read my books to leave feedback. I can only get better with it.

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