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Fabula Imperium (Story of Power)

Author's note: This is an idea that I've been kicking around for a while. I hope you get a few laughs out of it, at least.
Author's note: This is an idea that I've been kicking around for a while. I hope you get a few laughs out of it, at least.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 22 Next »


Occursus (Chapter 2)
Arcus Wheeler strolled through the mall, his hands in his pockets and whistling. To tell you the truth, he almost looked like someone who had just committed a crime and was playing dumb. His slightly uncooperative blond hair was sticking up a little in the back, but otherwise it was perfect. His sharp electric blue eyes scanned the hallway, presumably looking for something in particular. He was wearing his trademark Areopostale sweatshirt over a blue t-shirt, along with jeans, of course. He looked down at his watch. “Twelve thirty already?” he murmured to himself. He knew he was going to be late, and there was nothing he could do about it. Then again, he would probably be fine. It was the ‘probably’ part that gave him unease. He kept looking. Twelve thirty-one. After a couple minutes, he finally found the food court. He spotted his target, and leisurely walked to the table. He sat down.
“Where have you been?” asked Mila Aquis, his friend-who-happened-to-be-a-girl. Her short dark hair did a small swooshing motion when she moved her head. She brushed one side back behind her ear. Her softer blue eyes bored into his. Luckily, she didn’t seem to be angry about it.
“I… slept in.”
“Of course…” she sighed.
“What?” Arcus replied defensively. “It’s a Saturday! I usually don’t wake up this early anyway.” He smiled in spite of himself.
Mila sighed again. She seemed to be fond of doing that, but he had the feeling she was hiding a smile too. “Well, everyone else will be here pretty soo-“ She got cut off, and as luck would have it, it was by the one guy Arcus didn’t want to be here.
“Hey guys, how’s it going?” yelled Max Incendia. Girls at school seemed to swoon at the sight of his long red hair, and he wore red colored contacts to fit his red outfit. Hmm… there seems to be a theme here.
Arcus didn’t see the appeal. He face palmed. “Pfft… Why does HE have to be here anyway ?”
Mila shot him a look. “Don’t be like that, Arcus. I thought this meeting needed a… party atmosphere,” she explained. She said ‘party’ as if for lack of a better term.
Max muttered “Loser,” under his breath. Arcus glared at him, but kept quiet for Mila’s sake.
“Yeah, some party.” Remarked a deep voice from somewhere behind them. They whirled around to see Shadix Umbra. (Author here: What can I say? I like original names.) He was the goth (sorry: that was politically incorrect) guy Arcus knew. He saw him hanging out in school hallways most of the time. His black hair went well with his black jeans and a black t-shirt… you get the idea. His eyes were a dark brown. It was obvious he didn’t like the sun because his skin tan could use some work.
“Hi Shadix, thanks for coming,” Mila said politely.
He shrugged. “Not like I had anything else to do today,” he said, folding his arms nonchalantly.
Mila looked around. “I wonder where… ah, there they are,” she said smiling. Sage Adficio was looking uncomfortable walking next to Annie Sonitus, who was jamming out to heavy metal on her earphones. They approached the table and sat down. “Hey guys! How’s it going?” asked Mila.
“Now you’re starting to sound like Max,” Arcus mumbled. Mila and Max both elbowed him simultaneously.
“What?” Annie shouted over the noise of her earphones.
Sage looked around uneasily. “Mila… you know I don’t like crowds… Can’t you see that they’re looking at me?” she said looking around nervously.
“What?” Annie shouted over the noise of her earphones.
Mila comforted her, “Oh Sage, you’ll be fine. We can go shopping later…” she teased. Sage’s face brightened at the mention of shopping.
“What?” Annie shouted over the noise of her earphones.
Arcus went over and pulled the earphones out of her ears. “She says you guys can go shopping later,” He repeated.
“Cool!” she said. She talked a bit louder than everyone else because she was slightly deaf. “That means I can buy a new pair of headphones, the speakers in these are about to blow,” she remarked happily.
“Yo, Arcus! What’s up, my man?” said Leo Levis, the one guy Arcus was happy to have here. His hair was so blond it was almost white, and his outfit matched it .
“Leo! Hey, man, how’s it going?” Arcus replied.
Shadix chuckled. “Now you’re starting to sound like Max,” he remarked. Arcus and Max elbowed him simultaneously.
“Glad you’re here. Can we eat now? I’m starving.” asked Arcus.
“Sure… but you’re paying,” Mila said with a straight face.
Arcus was confused. “Wait, wha-“he started. Mila giggled. Arcus grumbled. “Oh sure, try to make me do everything. Would you like your shoes polished, my lady?” Everybody laughed at that.
They all went to the different mini restaurants within the food court, ordered their food, and brought it back to their table. They chatted about school, how hard it was, and asked each other about their grades, blah, blah, blah. Arcus had already finished before the others. He was kind of thirsty, so he considered his options. Buy expensive bottled water at one of the restaurants, or go to the water fountain next to the restrooms for free. It was a no-brainer. Arcus stood up. “Hey guys, I’m gonna go grab a drink. I’ll be back in a sec,” he said as he strode to the entrance.
As he bent down to drink at the fountain, he felt a little dizzy. He straightened up and leaned against the wall, holding his palm to his forehead. That was when he felt it. A strange sort of… gravity, for lack of a better term, was pulling in the direction of the doors. He didn’t know why, but he started walking in that direction. He went out into the crisp autumn air, and felt the gravity shift to his left. He felt obliged to follow it. He had the feeling it was leading him somewhere. He kept walking towards it, until it led him to a small, dark alley in between two local stores. The gravity was stronger now. It seemed almost… insistent that he keep walking. He didn’t see anything. He was confused. The gravity, it seemed, had lead him to a dead end.
That was when he noticed it. It was a life-altering, all-powerful, mind-blowing… metal box. No, not a box. It was more of a cube shape.
He went over to it and picked it up with one of the two handles. Nothing seemed to happen, except… was it a dark red color before he picked it up? He shook his head, attributing it to his imagination. For some reason, he didn’t know why, he took it back out of the alley, and walked backed to the mall. By this time, there were crowds and crowds of people. It was a pretty popular mall. He walked back through the doors to the food court, found his friend’s table, and sat down. They were still there chatting until he showed up.
“You must’ve been really thirsty, man. You took like ten minutes just getting a drink!” Leo said in mock anger. “And what’s that thing you’re carrying?”
Arcus looked at it like he was seeing it for the first time. “I… don’t know exactly. I found it outside,” he admitted. Now that he was back with his friends, the cube seemed brighter. He held it out for Leo to inspect. Leo tried to take it from him, but when he and Arcus were both touching it, it lit up like the sun.
Leo jerked his hand back. “What the…” he breathed. He touched it again, and the same thing happened. He was having fun grabbing it and letting go, seeing it light up and fade, until Arcus stopped him. The force seemed to be back, only now it was telling him…
“Guys, everybody grab onto it,” he said. Mila looked skeptical. “Why? It looks almost dangerous when you two are holding it. Who knows what it is? It could be radioactive or something,” she said nervously.
“Trust me, I know what I’m doing,” Arcus assured her.
“Well, THAT makes me feel a whole lot better,” she said sarcastically, but she complied hesitantly along with everyone else after a few seconds.
Now the cube was hard to look at, it was so bright. For some reason, Arcus noticed that the crowds had grown since he came back. The entire food court was full. His hands gravitated to the two handles on the sides. He instinctively knew what to do. He gathered all his strength, and pushed inward as hard as he could. He felt an exhilarating sense of speed. Then next thing he knew, there was a thunderous explosion, and he blacked out.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 22 Next »

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This book has 37 comments. Post your own now!

MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Chapter 9: I'm starting to wonder what's happening in the outside world. Wouldn't the whole city be in panic after the huge explosion in the park that killed everyone? Wouldn't the kids' parents be on the news, worrying about their teenagers who went to the mall and disappeared? Would Arcus and co. miss their families? Just food for thought. Haha...food...get it....happy Thanksgiving!
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 1:04 pm
Chapter 8: (Warning to other readers: this contains spoilers) First, I didn't know what an SMG was, so I had to look it up... Anyway, when Arcus says, "Yeah, no," I laughed. I was scared when he got shot, especially when he started hallucinating. Did the bullet leave his body? P.S. The part about George Washington was great. When I was doing research for the first chapter of my book, I read that Sir Walter Raleigh would come out of battles with bullet hol... (more »)
MayaS. said...
Nov. 22, 2012 at 12:53 pm
Yay! It's back up! Chapter 7: I LOVE the electricity-vision. At one point Leo says to Arcus, "What happened to your eyes, man?" Do they change color or something? I was dying to find out, but it was never really brought up again. This story rocks!
MayaS. said...
Nov. 16, 2012 at 6:41 pm
Chapter 6: I actually had no trouble with you breaking the 4th wall.  Another thing I like was the mentioned presence of Imperials in gangs - it seems natural that those with supernatural powers would be just as likely to be involved in street crime as saving the world. I was a little incredulous that the government -who has known about the existance of Imperials for presumably a long time - is sending a group of teenagers who have hardly tested out their powers to sav... (more »)
Crunchman99 replied...
Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:38 pm
Well, the government doesn't actually know about them yet, much less send them to save the world. Callidus just has funding, that's it.
MayaS. said...
Nov. 16, 2012 at 6:32 pm
Chapter 5: Callidus and his high-tech armaments = Lol. Annie's ears regulating sound = awesome detail. P.S. sorry I haven't commented in a while; the site was having issues and I am in a play this week 
MayaS. said...
Nov. 11, 2012 at 12:06 am
Callidus and his weapons room = Lol Annie's ears regualting sound to always be tolerable to her = awesome detail I'm so jealous of this chapter because there's a part in my story (TeenInk.com/novels/sci_fi_fantasy/book/106014/The-Secretary/7/) where there's major explosions in a weapons training room, but it's not nearly as funny
Maya S. said...
Nov. 10, 2012 at 11:49 pm
Chapter 4: this one has a great title - Doctrina! It's very lyrical, which fits the change of pace. My favorite part was Arcus in the dark dreamily watching the sparks floating in the air. At first I was getting strong Percy Jackson vibes, but the powers-by-genetics thing was an entirely new twist that was intriguing. My only question is how the Imperium and Turpis genes have somehow become recessive (maybe they're like the gene for dwarfism: when someone inherits one co... (more »)
Maya S. said...
Nov. 10, 2012 at 11:34 pm
Chapter 3: I loved how even with his "test subje-ahem, people" slip, Callidus nevertheless seems really trustworthy to me. My only question is how he obtained that shard of the Mobius cube.... Just noticed you're from Mitchell! Like, THE Mitchell, SD? I was at the Corn Palace this summer!!
Crunchman99 replied...
Nov. 11, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Yep. I see the corn palace every day, in fact.
Maya S. said...
Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:26 pm
Aston is a consummate villain, so so evil! I love the clashes between him and Arcus. I just noticed that there's a huge explosion and a field of dead bodies, and only two police officers show up. And those two police officers seem totally unfazed and quickly put down their weapons and chat. Even if they are part of a secret group of people who know about the Cube, maybe they could be a bit more shaken. Can't wait for the impending battle between Arcus and his former friends who joine... (more »)
Crunchman99 replied...
Nov. 10, 2012 at 8:09 pm
I'll make sure to edit that when I do another chapter post. Thanks for the feedback.
Maya S. said...
Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Chapter One: At first I was a bit confused with the switch from the 1st-person prologue to 3rd-person, but it's still great. The characters were instantly relatable. My favorite parts were Arcus describing Mila as his "friend-who-happened-to-be-a-girl" (lol), "Would you like your shoes polished, my lady" (another lol), and Annie with her headphones. Another great part was the description of the gravity ("He felt obliged to follow it"). Some things I noticed... (more »)
Maya S. said...
Nov. 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm
Prologue: I LOVE Arcus' voice here, and the clipped sentences. It's really direct and powerful
Snowflakes said...
Nov. 6, 2012 at 10:15 am
Wow. I read the whole thing, and I have SO much to say about this book. 1. It was amazing. 2. I loved it. 3. It was AMAZING. I like how the characters all have original names, I fell in love with Arcus, he seems so cool and whatnot. I also liked the storyline, it was really interesting and I wanted to read more D:
HOWEVER, you asked for constructive feedback, and in order to help you, I picked out errors. First, I'm not too sure if I like the moments when the characters talk to you, th... (more »)
Crunchman99 replied...
Nov. 6, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Yeah, Teenink does the text chunk thing. I'm going to have to find a way to fix it, but I don't know if there is a way. I do like the sequences with Leo talking to me, the love/hate relationship is something I'll have to consider. I may have to change it, but humor just comes naturally to me. I will make sure to post an exposition for each of the characters to separate them personality-wise.
Lady_Teribithea said...
Nov. 6, 2012 at 9:18 am
Only got through a few pages, but it looks good so far. I'm enjoying reading it. Few to no errors, a good plot so far, etc. Good job!

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