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The Darkest Secret

Taylor J.
The Darkest Secret
Summary: It all started 16th of May 1997. That’s when Willow Black ridge was born. Her mother a fey her dad a vampire. Willow was like all the other normal fey children but when she turned two she got a thirst for nothing other than blood. When her dad saw this is his daughter he thought about how horrible her life would be if she went with the vampires. So he left Willow with her Violet eyes, Carmel blonde hair, small frame, 5’6, tan, and wears down to the knee flowly dresses. Willow has so far thought she was a fey but that will change very soon. One more thing there is only one thing Willow has from her dad to connect to him and it holds the key to her powers her Ruby heart necklace

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This book has 6 comments. Post your own now!

whateverjuliet said...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 8:55 pm
sae as thalialisset, shoulda made it longer...but becuase it was so good and i would have wanted to read more of this amazing story!!!
CarrieAnn13 said...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Okay, I have a bit of criticism.

1.  Slow down!  You have a good idea here, but you really need to slow down the pacing.  Take time to describe things, to add a bit of internal monologue.

2.  Describe!  I want to know more about your characters. Describe what they look like, their habits, their personalities.

3.  Dialogue goes on a separate line, especially when someone new is talking.

4.  The internet is your friend.  I thin... (more »)

thalialisset said...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 8:30 pm

luvvv it again.....lol


thalialisset said...
Dec. 9, 2011 at 8:12 pm

very nice written...love it....but i  think  yuhh shudd make it longer....but other than  that  i  loved itt!!!!!:)


Musawwir21 said...
Dec. 7, 2011 at 5:13 pm

To be honest i felt it was a little rushed . More like a short story less of a book. It was a good plot i liked where it was going the climax and all that but damons relastionship with the main caracter was rushed into take your time this will be an excellent story . IF you just SLOW down i love everything about it . it is grasphing it kept my attention . This is MY opioion so please dont get offended . Your a great writer keep it up !


Bones96 said...
Dec. 4, 2011 at 10:28 pm

This is good I am intreseted in finding out what you do with the story. 

Good Job! :)


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