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That Summer

Author's note: I just love writing and I hope you all in enjoy this.
Author's note: I just love writing and I hope you all in enjoy this.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 Next »

Who is he...?

Who is he…?

Awesome I thought to myself. Finally the record store got the new Paramore cd I have been waiting for its only took them like two months and I’m not very good at waiting. Well hi I should probably introduce myself my name is Jessica Hinshaw but, most people just call me Jess. Today is officially the first day of my junior summer. Next year I will be a senior at Mount Bryan High school and here I am spending my first day of summer looking over the record store from
My first chapter bare with me please :) lol
top to bottom for this cd. Not your normal everyday girl I guess but hey it makes me happy. Plus this is where fantastic summer takes off and starts a new me. Well anyway back to the beginning.
Finally I think to myself I can’t believe it took me this long to find the cd but you have no idea how happy I am. Things for summer are finally starting to look up and right when I think that I see Emily out of the corner of my eye with her pack flanking her sides. Emily and I use to be best friends since 3rd grade there was nothing that could take me and that girl apart, well atleast that’s what I use to think. That was until she met Blake. The captain of the Football team mister all American boy and ever so popular ever since that day Emily hasn’t been the same. It started off with her ditching our plans all the time< then ignoring my texts to finally ignoring me. Up until one day she just simply came up to me and said I have moved on to bigger and better things maybe you should to. And that was the day I lost my best friend. I never really had any other friends then her so from that day on I was kind of an outcast all by myself everywhere and always alone. It was kind of pathetic I felt abandoned. That may be the main reason I’m so happy school is out. I finally got sucked back into reality when the clerk said “that will be 16.50” I smiled sheepishly because it was obvious my mind was elsewhere I handed him the cash and went on my way. I walked right by Emily without as much as a glance back.
The record store was always my safe haven so now that I was out in the ever so crowded California mall, I really didn’t know where to go or what to do. I decided it might be time to head home so I made my way to the north exit of the mall. As soon as I was outside I stepped into the blistering heat and imidently discarded my hoodie to the back of my car. I got in the driver seat and really thought if I was ready to head home and the answer was no. I was still a little upset about the run in with Emily so I decided to go to my favorite little coffee shop down town. It’s about a 15 minute drive from the mall to Bryans Café and I was looking forward to my usual so I made it there in an impressive 9 minutes. I always tended to drive a little faster when I was upset. As soon as I parked I jumped out of the car and quickly skipped to the front door of the café. When I made it the counter there was a younger girl with blonde short spikey hair waiting on me. She looked new I had never seen her here before and I’m here at least once a day so that’s strange to me. He name tag said Lindsey and I was trying to be polite so I said “Hi Lindsey I’ll have a large Hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookie please” she looked up at me with eyes as black as night she didn’t say a word just walked soundlessly to get my items.
It was then when I noticed a tall guy standing in the back of the store he was flipping through a new book I had just recently finished. He looked strikingly handsome and made my knees week I knew I had definitely never seen him before in my life. I finally worked up the nerve and decided as soon as I got my stuff I would go talk to him and that’s when Lindsey said “Hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookie that will be 5.13” I handed her the money and tried to hurry but by the time I turned around the handsome young man had disappeared. I couldn’t help thinking to myself who is he..?
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 Next »

Join the Discussion

This book has 11 comments. Post your own now!

alwaysreal said...
Jun. 2, 2015 at 12:29 pm
The story is cute but honestly with a few more details the story could be amazing.
Dalia... said...
Nov. 20, 2013 at 10:18 pm
MY GOD THIS IS SOOOO GOODDD!!!! I couldn't keep my eyes of the the pages. You are very creative and talented. Please do not stop writing and keep up the good work! And also please please make a part 2 to this!!! Thank you :)
jadepotter said...
Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:18 am
it's nothing like twilight, i think the only thing it has in common is a vampire and human falling in love and that's been used many times. it's not the story line you use, it's how you use it...i think Alantis did very well...i love it...it's really neat.
Alantis said...
Sept. 11, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Thankyou tons. :) I really love this Gabe and Jess are like my babys and I love both their personalitys and I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Epictacoqueen said...
Sept. 11, 2011 at 5:30 pm
I really liked it..... Ummm I wouldn't say its like twilight i think its better for 1 gabe doesnt sparkle hes much better of a person and another thing Gabe did not stare at her like he was going to kill her lol and  Jess isnt a big clutsy stupid person :)
Alantis said...
Sept. 8, 2011 at 7:54 pm
Sorry i know my grammer has a lot of mistakes but, i have been writing this in my spare time and don't have a ton of time to go over and over it. As i said to someone in my earlier comment Twilight was my insperation and i'm not ashamed it's a lot like it. Yes it's like it in lots of ways but it is also very different. And as for my dialogue I made it that way because I like it. Maybe my book isn't for you if you find so much distaste in it.
CarrieAnn13 said...
Sept. 8, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Well, I'm sorry I gave you an honest critique.  In your thread, you asked for people's opinions and I gave you mine.  As it stands, you still need to give me feedback on three more of my pieces.


I realize you may not have much time to go over your work, but why submit something if you know it's not your best?  Editing is hard, yes, but it is also necessary.


"Maybe my book isn't for you if you find so much distaste in it."

... (more »)

SilverBandit said...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Reminds me alot of twilight. Good story, just a few grammar mistakes. Keep writing!
Alantis replied...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 11:52 pm
Thanks. Twilight was kinda my reason behind my story. :)
AngelOfDarkness replied...
Sept. 14, 2011 at 11:09 am
Well, I like it way better than Twilight. That's a plus. Keep writing. And Carrie, could you critique my story, Cirque de Horror? :)
Alantis replied...
Oct. 6, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Thank you bunches AngelOfDarkness. :)

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