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Cemetery

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Jeane
Cemetery
Summary: Rosa just took a shortcut to the cemetery since she forgot her bus money and her aunt wasn't going to let her in before 1:30am hit .There she meet someone in the cemetery. When she meet this person it change her life and remeber something she have forgot when she was she 6 year old.Not only that but her friend call Yo(Nickname) made thing worst when he say 3 words she didn't want to her from him. Also what he did to her when she was about leave his house and this stange feeling.Rosa find out this strange feeling she scare of is going out of control.And in the end she find out why and realize it was not to be scare of in the first place.





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This book has 3 comments. Post your own!

farah9723 said...
Dec. 26, 2012 at 7:05 pm:
Hey, your story is pretty good except that I felt like I lost interest , it needs to make the reader suspicious so just use more descriptive language.. U could have started the story differently u could have Said while I was walking through the cemetery I regretted not listening to grandmama warning me not to take this shortcut , but she told me not to be late and I had nothing else to do so I was walking though thhe cemetery when etc... It's to much details but I like ur theme and ur way of wri... (more »)
 
Teedybear replied...
Dec. 28, 2012 at 7:44 pm :
Hey, your story was good it really got suspicious keep writtin ur great that it
 
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jdaniels1779This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 26, 2012 at 6:36 pm:
Hi Jeane, The plot line is very interesting, howeber some parts were confusing. Maybe you can add a little more descriptive setting so we can really get the mood of the short story. Maybe describe the relationship between the aunt and niece a little more so we get that feel you know? At times it was a little confusing and I think you need a little more..."spice" to give  it that spooky feel. All in all, great ideas! keep up the good work  
 
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