I Should've Kissed You
Author's note: Yes, this is based off of a One Direction song. When I hear music I tend to write little stories... Show full author's note »
Waving to the Air“You never did tell me where you were last night.” Drew smiles at me as he wipes down a desk with a rag that looks like its a couple seconds away from falling apart. Mr. Hilling has just left us alone to go make more copies of who-knows-what, he probably said something about a meeting too but I wasn’t listening very well. Luckily for us, when he’s gone his “If I catch you talking, you get more time in here.” Rule doesn’t apply.
“I was sleeping, like you should’ve been.”
“Your loss, the party was fun and worth the bags under my eyes.” He winks at me, and then goes back to cleaning.
I take my own rag and start to clean the white boards. The markings fade slightly, but I have to go over them a second time to make them disappear.
“Did you hear the part where I said that the party was fun?” he asks me again. Did he seriously expect me to reply to that? Do I want to?
“Did you hear the part where I said I was happy to get sleep?” I ask him, sort of irritated.
“Sure you got sleep?” Drew asks me. I can hear his voice surging closer towards me. I can feel him edging closer and closer to me.
I don’t turn around though; just continue to squirt the same spot on the white board over and over, wiping it again each time. Finally, Drew’s chin comes down on my turned shoulder, his hands finding the metal expo holder just below the whiteboard. He frames me with his arms and when I look over his smile is waiting.
“You’re kind of grouchy today.” He whispers.
“How do you know I’m not like this every day? We don’t hang out much.” I tell him which makes him laugh. Drew takes his arms away from both sides of me and his chin off of my shoulder.
“Because, believe it or not, we have connections Ms. Kolbe, if you were a mean person I would know about it by now.” His white smile shines my way. “And we should change that, you know, by hanging out some time.”
“I don’t know about you, but I like partying with people I trust. I have to know people to trust them, and I don’t know the one million people that you usually invite to your parties.” I say, turning back around to find Drew going through one of Mr. Hilling’s drawers.
“Maybe it can be just us two.” He says, but I don’t focus on his words. I focus on his fingers rummaging through Mr. Hilling’s papers! Mr. Hilling the monster’s papers!!!! He is going to eat us alive!!!!
“What are you doing?!” I ask him worriedly.
“Seeing what is up this guy’s butthole, he’s constantly irritated.”
“Irritated is big word for a kid in math support. Oh wait, I forgot. You are the one who is tutoring Cody.” I say, tapping my finger on my chin like I haven’t a clue about his smartness.
How does she know that I’m the one tutoring Cody? You know what, scratch that, Cody is the dumbest one in our class. Dumber then I pretend to be even, so it isn’t exactly rocket science to put those pieces together.
“So you figured it out?” I say more then ask her, winding up my old rag that I have been using for the last twenty minutes, and then swinging it at her lightly. Mr. Hilling’s drawer closes as I lean back on it.
“No, I just remembered. You obviously don’t like to do such a thing though.” She says, turning away from me to go back to her white board. Does she know that she has cleaned that same spot more in the last two minutes then that board has been washed in its life?
“What do you mean you remembered?” I ask, sitting on top of Mr. Hilling’s desk. I’m happy that he’s in a meeting right now.
“You mean you don’t remember beating me in the science fair a couple times? Always being the one to get a hundred percent with me in math?” Amanda asks and the memories come flooding back into me.
I remember her name being laced with mine in teacher’s speeches. I remember Mrs. Lansing standing before the class in first grade, holding up our art side by side in comparison, then exclaiming in her large teacher voice: “Look at these little artists! If you all put more effort into your work you’ll get better grades in the future.”
“Yeah, I do now. How is it you remember all these things?” I ask her, and she shrugs.
“I don’t know.” She says and a smile creeps to her lips. She saunters forward, ready to pounce on me with her words. When she seems only a foot away I speak.
“You have to have some sort of reason.” I put my elbows on my knees and lean forward, making our eyes the same height.
“Well, truth is I had a little, teensy, bitty…”
“Crush, on me?” I finish for her. Her laugh comes out gorgeously from those lips. A natural laugh, ha-ha when’s the last time I heard a normal, untouched laugh?
“Yeah, I guess I did.” She smiles at me, and her eyes sparkle. They literally light up with joyfulness and this makes my smile more sincere.
“You don’t anymore, so when we hang out Thursday we will be just friends.” I say, hopping off of Mr. Hilling’s desk.
“Thursday?” I ask Drew, because for a second I thought I had dreamed up the whole telling him that I liked him thing.
“Yes, Thursday, two days from now, after school. You, me and some ice cream.” Drew says, and then reaches into my pocket for my phone. “Just in case you try to ditch me,” He says, winking. “I am putting my number in your phone and getting your number.” He then calls his own phone and saves my number under ‘Memory Keeper’.
“What makes you think I will answer you if I do end up ditching after all?” I say and he shrugs.
“I’ll track you down.” He winks at me, once again.
“Why do you always do that?” I ask him. He ALWAYS winks. Even at the weirdest times it’s like his signature to add a ‘wink’ at the end of everything.
“Wink, do you have something in your eye?!” I say and he laughs.
“I’m not sure,” he steps closer. “Check for me?”
Looking up, Drew allows me to look into his eyes.
“I think you’re good. That only leaves one thing to make you have eye spasms like that.”
“What would that be Ms. Kolbe?” he asks and I laugh.
“You’re insane!” I yell.
He laughs loudly, making it echo off of the walls. It isn’t over done or made to sound a certain way, it’s natural. The last time I heard that laugh was when Jerome yelled back at a substitute teacher in seventh grade and everybody had laughed when Jerome and the teacher left the room. I never thought I would hear that laugh again from Drew. This makes me smile, really happy to remember why I liked this guy for so long. It made me remember how much I USED to like him, and almost made me forget why I decided to stop liking him at all. Almost. That’s another word that is a synonym for “Not completely” as in I will always remember why I hate him now.
Amanda’s eyes go cold and dead. They were sparkling just a moment ago and now it’s as if there was no such firework there to begin with. Her smile stays though, but something is wrong.
I choose to ignore it. I choose to put it off to the side, pretend not to notice it.
He doesn’t notice it. He doesn’t notice how sad I am over remembering so much and wanting to forget so much in return. All of this makes me want to remember the good, only the good! I can’t though, because the bad ceases to leave my mind.
“So Thursday?” Drew double checks.
“Thursday.” I smile as a conformation of his thoughts. We walk out of the front doors of our schools building and as he waves a goodbye to me, I wave back. I wave back because for once in a long while I want things to be back to how they were.
When Drew knew I existed, was even my friend for a while, and made me feel special for one moment. One perfect moment. But as we all know, special doesn’t last forever, and eventually I’ll have only the air to wave to.