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The Teenage Confessions of Olivia 'Babe' Finch

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Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 10 Next »

Chapter 1

10:00 in My Room Ughh, I have just been rudely awoken by a herd of elephants, or my family as some absolute weirdoes call them. They came storming in and pulled my curtains open, bathing in the warmth of the sun, blatantly ignoring my presence. They then turned around and walked out of my room, leaving the door wide open. To be honest that is shocking; the door is only closed for my privacy. 30 minutes later I’m waiting for someone to close my door. It’s not working. Is this what they teach mothers these days, this horrendous disrespect for their children? 5 minutes later Fine! I’ll do it myself, if that is what you’re all wanting. I’ll fulfil your need for me to do something good every day, and it will help my karma, which gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside… 12:00 I might actually get up now. I have so much to do before the last splash tonight. The last splash is basically, a crappy little fair, on Silloth beach, with some freaks on acid who think walking around on stilts and juggling at the same time, wearing stripy trousers and a top hat is socially acceptable. Everyone is going, the whole gang. 30 seconds later Freddy, Scott, Liam, Heather, Ruby, Robyn, John, Chris, Matty and moi. 2 minutes later I can’t believe this is the end of the summer already. Back to school tomorrow. 10 minutes later – In The bathroom I have such a huge lurker hiding under my nose. I’m trying to squeeze it but it just hurts too much. 10 seconds later I can’t go through with this. The pain is too much. But if I stop now then they win, I must battle forward. 30 seconds later Ahh OMD, they seem to be popping up like weeds. 2 seconds later That’s something you don’t see every day, weeds pop-pop-popping. Popdiddy pop pop! 1 minute later Why does my brain do this to me? I can’t get the image of a break dancing weed out of my head! This can’t be healthy. I need food. 20 minutes later – In the Kitchen I can hear my tummy rumbling, but I’m trying to ignore it. I can’t eat anything now, if I want to get into my black dress tonight. 1 minute later Don’t get the impression I’m starving myself because I’m definitely not. It’s merely the training of the brain to make my metabolism higher. 5 minutes later To be honest with you, I’m a size ten which proves I’m not… 1 minute later Oh I give up! I’m starving. 30 minutes later I’ve had a healthy balanced meal which consisted of: • A pop tart • A packet of Wotsits • A bottle of Oasis (summer fruits) • A mars bar • Two slices of toast and apricot jam • A packet of Jelly Tots • A Tunnock’s Tea Cake • A Caramel Wafer 2 minutes later I think I might explode 10 minutes later – In the hall, on the phone to Ruby “Hia Ruhbarb” “Hia Olly the Octopus” “Stop calling me that!” “Well stop calling me Rhubarb then!” “No” Bleep… She hung up on me! The bitch! 20 minutes later Rang Heather and arranged time and place to meet tonight, as well as transport home from Silloth. Then I rang the rest of the gang to spread the word apart from Ruby, who I am officially not talking to after she hung up on me. 15:00 In my room again, in the valley of the loons, mum has gone out again with her long term boyfriend Neal, and they must have taken my sister Joanna because I can’t hear her and my brother, Alec must be out with his girlfriend, Kate, because his jazz music isn’t thudding and making the house shake. So it’s just me. What to do? Ten minutes later I’m searching for something decent to wear because I can’t decide how to do my hair. Everyone knows the outfit goes with the hair and the hair doesn’t go with the outfit. The hair is the starting point in the wardrobe world. 16:00 I’m curling my hair for extra bounciosity and sophistication. Then I’m using some Schwarzkopf powder for extreme volumosity, without me having to back comb it. 15 seconds later I don’t like backcombing it because my hair is tuggy enough anyway, but when I attempt to do my own hair without the aid of my darling sister, Joanna, it gets worse and I end up with big balls of tugs to be hacked out with a fine comb and a very unsympathetic sister. 16:30 After fifteen outfit changes and one raiding of the mother’s wardrobe, I finally decided on wearing my black sequined dress and killer heels. On top of my amazing outfit selection, I have done the best thing anyone has done since man landed on the moon; I’ve put as many layers of mascara on as I can. I’ve gone way past the point of humanely possible. This is a whole new level. 17.00 I’ve left my mother a note to say that I’m staying at Crystal’s tonight with the gang so she doesn’t have to worry about feeding me breakfast and dinner. Hah! Like she even does normally, and where I am going. But I’ve left it by the phone, in the hall, so she has no excuse not to read it. 17:45 – Starbucks All the gang were already there drinking coffee. You know the way they do in the films, when they try to act all cool and flirty, without realising they have a milk stash on their face. And these are the people I call my friends? What on earth is this sacred world coming to? 30 seconds later I kept my cool until they finally noticed I was there, and I handed Heather a tissue so she could wipe her upper lip. She gave me a look that only a bestie could recognise that says yes, thanks but you just crushed my vibe. I sent her one back saying I’m-sorry-you-feel-that-way-but-you-had-a-bloody-milk-stash-babe-I-think-you’ll forgive me. She gave me a strained smile. I take that as a “Olivia I love you”. See what did I tell you? Bestie mates always. 15 minutes later Blooming hell, the streets of Carlisle are freezing at night, and quite scary. The men that walk past keep tooting at me, whistling and eyeing me up. No, they will not get their sleezy hands anywhere near my knickers. I pretty much started running and became slightly paranoid that everyone was after me. The crew just walked behind me, at a normal pace, thinking I was insane. 40 seconds later On the organised bus to Silloth, that we all chipped in for, because public transport is full of twats and the council aren’t good enough to sort any decent wheels out. We have our tunes pumping and are all in the party mode. Eeeep it’s getting exciting now. 19.00 – On the promenade It is actually freezing. It’s only just turned September; how is this possible? Darn England and its unpredictable weather patterns, hence why I don’t trust the MET office. Well I’m telling you it’s time to turn your heating up, wear furry coats and to stuff hot rocks down your knickers. Or on second thoughts, that would just be painful. 20 minutes later We are all walking to the beach singing “This is the way to Amarillo”. Fandabadosy and a half - Lady Godiva would be proud. 19.20 – At the beach Why in the name of baby Jesus did I wear my good heels? All the stones are sticking to them. I’ll never get them clean. 20:00 – At the bandstand on the green My heels are going to be even more f*ed now that I’ve been standing for forty minutes in soil. But anyway, it’s all starting now. There is a fit new band playing, the lead singer is well lush. Mmmm maybe I could just eat him up. 10 seconds later SNAP OUT OF IT! 5 minutes later After a whole lot of head bobbing, spins, bad dancing, and air guitar, I decided it was about time for a well-earned drink. I went to sit down on a stool, in a very ladylike manner, so no one could see my lacy panties. But then guess who I see? No one other than the fittest boy to take up music; ahhhh he was so dreamy. He had dark hair that had a windswept edge to it, and eyes the colour of chocolate. I nearly died the most beautiful death, but I was interrupted by the sound of an angel. He asked if he could buy me a drink, then it dawned on me that it was me he was talking to. Not anyone else. Me. I couldn’t understand why, I mean, I’m nothing special. But it was rude to leave a boy hanging, so I attempted to reply but it came out stumbled. There goes my ice-cold reputation. I let him buy me an Iron Bru (I was surprised to see they were on sale, seeing as this is Cumbria not the highlands), and we walked to a quieter part of the sea front and sat on a really big rock. We talked about everything; I don’t know where the time went. It wasn’t until I checked my Chanel watch that I knew I was late to meet back up with the crew. He walked me to meet them, and left me with a soft yet meaningful kiss. My friends were standing and tutting about me ditching them for a boy, and wouldn’t drop it. Jeeez they can be such kill joys. 01:00 – Crystal’s house I’ll never get to sleep. I’ve had the best night of my life, I can’t let it end. But on the other hand I have school tomorrow and need all the sleep I can get. 20 minutes later Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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This book has 2 comments. Post your own!

LOVERR said...
Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:29 am:
AWESOME :) :) :) :) 
 
Thornybum replied...
Oct. 14, 2012 at 5:35 pm :
Thanks. not sure if it's finished yet though! :)
 
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