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The Nightmares

Cody T.
The Nightmares
Summary: they make friends along the way

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This book has 4 comments. Post your own now!

NintaiKyouboku said...
Oct. 9, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Well, there are some grammatical/spelling errors. Also, the voice is very dry. You're just telling the readers everything that happened. Also, the description of all of their outfits is boring. It's not just because I don't care for fashion, it's also because you said simply, "It was green camouflage pants." Also, there is not much detail. This could be a very good plotline, however, this story needs a lot of fleshing out.

I'm sorry if this comment was harsh...this story needs a lot of... (more »)

Love.Hate.Passion. said...
Oct. 9, 2011 at 5:37 pm

The plot of your novel does have some very good potential ,  but I would advise a couple of things before you continue. First off , there is an inconsistensy with the format your paragraphs are in , and you may want to indent and space better do the story is easier to read. Secondly , there are many spelling/punctuation/grammar mistakes, beginning at the prologue. You might want to have several peers review your story , or even an adult. Thirdly , you should enhance your characters as mu... (more »)

IreneEYtonKratzThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 8, 2011 at 2:49 am
While it's obvious that this story isn't done yet, it has great potential. Keep working on it-- I think you might turn out something great!
ButterflyKiss said...
Oct. 5, 2011 at 10:46 pm
Hm, I'm up to chapter one and the plot is good so far. The lack of spaces between paragraphs makes it more difficult to read, but overall- it's the makings of a good story.

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