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Catch me if you Can

Alli S.
Catch me if you Can
Summary: Almost no time elapsed from the second I pressed enter on the keyboard to the second when the orange writing emerged into view, broadcasting one final instruction.

This is not the last time you will hear from me. I will cut the connection between our computers for the time being. Be on guard.

Almost instantly the computer screen turned truly black, the writing gone, and the laptop was dormant once more. “Who’s N.C.?” Ariel said, voice trembling slightly, saying exactly what I was thinking. I store at the black screen for several moments before I answered.
“I don’t know,” I replied, trying my best to remain collected without much success. Ariel and I just sat there for awhile, it could’ve been seconds, it could have been hours, it was impossible to tell. But there was one thing I realized at that very second, something that put every hair on my head on edge, something that set me more on edge than I'd ever been before:
Someone was watching us.

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This book has 16 comments. Post your own now!

CammyS said...
Dec. 4, 2012 at 7:53 am
Very excellent book. I was glued to the screen the entire time and I can't wait to see what happens next. It was very bold of you to kill off two of the seeming main characters in the first chapter but it worked out quite well. Very, very good. Would you mind reading some of my work?
kenzie_treub said...
Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:19 pm
Very impressive Alli!  I am an extremely harsh critic and I was very impressed with this book.  The characters are well thought out; the plot is intriguing. Excellent all the way around.  Would you mind reading some of my work?  
kenzie_treub replied...
Dec. 2, 2012 at 7:21 pm
Oh and if you do read my work; read my newer work and poetry.  The earlier stuff is from when I was younger, and a less "thought-provoking" writer. 
Allicat001 replied...
Dec. 3, 2012 at 9:51 pm
Thank you soo much for the feedback!  I really appreciate it!  Read and commented on "Telling Tales" and "My Drama Sister", great job on both by the way. :)
MadelynHope said...
Sept. 3, 2012 at 12:14 pm
Very, very well written, and keeps the reader's attention throughout. The characters are well done and their interactions very realistic. Keep writing.
Allicat001 replied...
Sept. 3, 2012 at 3:57 pm
Thank you so much!
Writer38942849 said...
Sept. 1, 2012 at 5:04 pm
loving it  so much  
Atl.Braves03 said...
Aug. 22, 2012 at 4:25 pm
Some of the most mature writing I've read here on TI. You have the makings of a professional writer. (This is the first time I've ever said that to anyone on this website) All in all, 5 stars easily. Great job and keep writing!
. replied...
Aug. 23, 2012 at 11:06 am
Thank you soo much!  Your feedback really means a lot to me.
TheHangingGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 28, 2012 at 1:25 pm
caught my Attention on the Teen Ink Chat and I just had to read it! I love how i never got bored during the whole thing! Great Dialogue betweeen characters - NEVER STOP WRITING!
Allicat001 replied...
Jul. 28, 2012 at 3:13 pm
Thank you so much!  I really appreciate the feedback:) your poetry is out of this world.
luv2bLDS This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 22, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Wow! This is soooo good! You are a very talented writer! Don't stop writing!
AthenaMarisaDeterminedbyFate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Wow. This was so good. All I have to point out are a couple typos and grammatical errors, but those are to be expected in every piece of writing. Also, I noticed you used the word 'shocked' a lot, so maybe you could replace that with a different word, just to avoice being repetitive. But I was hooked from the minute I started reading! Great work!
Allicat001 replied...
Dec. 8, 2012 at 7:08 pm
Thank you so much for the feedback, looking through it again I see what you meant by the word repetition, thank you for telling me and helping me improve! :) 
SunnySummers replied...
Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:01 am
   I just started reading it and ran into the word "store" where I think you meant "stared". :)
SunnySummers replied...
Dec. 10, 2012 at 8:06 am
   Other than that, now that I've read a little more, I can say that you're a good writer, so keep up the good work. =D

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