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A Rebellion, Underground

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LiteraryMastermind
A Rebellion, Underground
Summary: It all started when the doorbell rang six times, and the Coyote came into Kane's apartment. Then he escaped the city. Then across the countryside. Then further, out of Stein.

Kane thinks all the running and fightning is over when he settles in a new, free land. But the Steins want to take it over, so Kane joins the Secrecy, an organization bent on taking down the Steins. He must fight for his freedom





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This book has 11 comments. Post your own!

ShadowRealms said...
Apr. 23, 2012 at 11:18 am:
Amazing use of suspence and action. The details were flawless and I could picture it all! Though I was a bit confused about the beginning. Upload more, please!
 
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Allicat001 said...
Apr. 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm:
You paid meticulous attention to detail and the suspense was amazing!  I have to admit I was slightly confused about why your protagonist was running from the Stein.  Maybe putting in a prologue would help?  Otherwise this is a flawless piece and I need to post more:)
 
Allicat001 replied...
Apr. 7, 2012 at 1:33 pm :
Whoops I meant you need to post more!
 
LiteraryMastermind replied...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 1:27 pm :
Yeah, I am. I understand where the confusion about why everything is happening, though. I'm going to explain the history using flashback methods, starting with the next chapter I will submit. It seems like that was a common problem!
 
Toran replied...
Apr. 13, 2012 at 8:58 am :
Hey!You're doing a great job here!I like it.(And also, can you please keep writing on the other threads also?I'm hanging by a thread by myself.)
 
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TatielThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 7, 2012 at 11:13 am:

This is good! The suspense is perfect. I love ytour characters, although it is a little confusing why the man is called a Coyote. Is that the common title of people who help others escape the city? If so, you may want to make that clear. Also, WHY are they trying to escape in the first place? Maybe put in a paragraph or two in the beginning explaining the reason he needs to escape and what/who Coyotes are. 

Also, the only other thing I noticed is that Kane and Stein are pronounced... (more »)

 
LiteraryMastermind replied...
Apr. 7, 2012 at 11:19 am :
Thanks for the feedback! Oh, and coyote is a popular term for people who help others cross borders, usually the US/ Mexico one. I simply input it into this story.I kind-of wrote the first two chapters of this story in one hours, so I didn't really elaborate on the premise of the situation. Thanks for the feedback again!
 
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Blue_rose said...
Apr. 6, 2012 at 10:48 am:
I like it so far. It is descriptive and interesting. So I am going to assume that this person is a shape shifter who is running from the Steins. I like the concept. Good job!!!
 
LiteraryMastermind replied...
Apr. 6, 2012 at 1:04 pm :
He's not a shape shifter - but I guess the opening scenes could have been a little confusing.
 
LiteraryMastermind replied...
Apr. 6, 2012 at 1:31 pm :
I guess the confusion came from a typo, refering to Kane as 'it', right?
 
Blue_rose replied...
Apr. 6, 2012 at 5:18 pm :
I read the whole thing so far and I love it. I absolutely love "The Coyote" or Alex Fransor. He’s a funny yet serious character. This is a very interesting read and I want to know what happens next. The suspense is killing me!!!!!
 
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