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Rat Key

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milforce
Rat Key
Summary: A man who has forgotten his name arrived in a city where he had no choice but to become a thief if he wanted to live. Every time he was caught stealing, the police would chase him, calling "Rat!" over and over again. Due to his lack of a regular name, he adopted the name Rat.
Rat went to live in the Tunnels, which is an enormous and elaborate maze of tunnels that run underneath the futuristic city of Maw. The unfortunate thing; that's where all of the gangs reside. Rat has no interest in joining a gang, so they don't exactly like him down there, but then again, they don't exactly like on the Surface either.



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This book has 90 comments. Post your own!

dragonsandthree said...
Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:56 pm:
This is a really good book. It's plot is fairly solid, and it has enough foreshadowing for you to get a fairly good guess of what's going to happen next, but it still has a strange way of making it seem like you could be wrong, that the story line will change at the drop of a pin. 
 
milforce replied...
Apr. 24, 2013 at 7:27 pm :
Thanks, I appreciate it! That was the goal:)  Did you find anything wrong with it?
 
dragonsandthree replied...
Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:27 am :
Umm.... The only problems that I really saw was the fact that the story changed from scene to scene almost instantly, and the scenes did not seem to last very long. The last problem is the fact that it's not finished.
 
milforce replied...
Apr. 25, 2013 at 7:24 pm :
Alright, thanks!!
 
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IrenieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:49 am:
Overall, this is a pretty good book. I like the idea of the plot. I do not like the dialogue, though. It is rather choppy and unrealistic in some places. However, you have a well developed world and characters. I like that you can immediately imagine what Rat is like. I do not think that the way you deliver his thoughts are very good. I don’t mean to be negative, but you said to rip it up, so I’m trying J Otherwise, this is a pretty good book. I hope you finish it!
 
milforce replied...
Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:27 pm :
Thanks! I appreciate it
 
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JettaWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 5, 2013 at 7:08 pm:
I didn't get a chance to finish reading the second chapter (I'm about halfway through) but I'll try to make time to read it later. (: I really, really enjoyed this! THe plot is really unique, and the characters are developed very well. I loved your word choice, too. The only thing I would say is that when he is thinking, make it clearer. I noticed that you use these ' ' for thought, but it was confusing when he thought after speaking because I wasn't sure if he was still ... (more »)
 
milforce replied...
Apr. 7, 2013 at 10:54 pm :
Thanks for the critique! I'll get to your story as soon as possible:)
 
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CurlyGirl17 said...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:10 pm:
That was good and interesting! I like how a reader can definitely describe Rat's character- tough, sarcastic, but caring underneath. Lots of the time main characters tend to be wishy-washy with their traits. I really enjoyed this- I'd appreciate it if you checked out the first chapter of my story, Metalligirl- you seem to know what you're doing when it comes to writing and all of these positive comments proves it! :)
 
CurlyGirl17 replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:11 pm :
Oh, and if you were to leave a comment on my work along with checking it out, that would be great- feedback's always good!
 
milforce replied...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:19 pm :
Thank you very much! I'll try to get to your story sometime this week
 
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IMSteelThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 7:44 pm:
I only read the first two chapters, I'll finish the rest later.  It is a great story, twisty. and interesting.  I love it.  Most of it just needs practice, and therefore cannot be criticised.  The only major thing that needs fixing is the tenses, past, and present.  Sometimes you us past-tense, example: I said, I looked.  And other times you use present, example: I say, I look.  Other than that, you only need more description, which has already been sai... (more »)
 
milforce replied...
Apr. 1, 2013 at 9:31 pm :
Thank you!! I know the tenses are screwed up...I started it originally in past tense but then switched to present and I never got the present tense versions on here...
 
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BATMANSTEALTH said...
Aug. 30, 2012 at 6:55 pm:
Well,what can I say that hasnt been said already? Great charachterizatiom, Suspense, Good dialouge,  good descriptions. Summarization: A compeling read that keeps it fun and upbeat all the way through :)!
 
milforce replied...
Aug. 31, 2012 at 8:58 pm :
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
 
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MoraleAsh said...
Feb. 12, 2012 at 9:57 am:
This is really great! What a unique plot liine with such an interesting main character! Props to you. My only suggestion is to cut a lot of the dialogue and add in more detail! Great job overall!
 
milforce replied...
Feb. 12, 2012 at 11:30 am :
Thank you so much. I appreciate it
 
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SarasotaWonder said...
Jan. 30, 2012 at 7:36 pm:
You did such a good job with this! The plot is unique, interesting, and fast-paced...AWESOME JOB WITH THAT! :) One thing I would watch out for is that fact that you have a lot of dialouge, whcih you really don't need all the time, and some more description will thicken your story up. Also, say what the characters say out loud, does it sound like something you would here in everyday converstation or is it just awkward? Overal, great work!
 
milforce replied...
Jan. 30, 2012 at 8:06 pm :
Thanks so much! I'm working on being more descriptive and using less dialogue. I know that the balance is pretty out of wack
 
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Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm:
I'm totally digging the character names! You could definitely flesh out the story with more narrative to break up all of the dialogue, it will really add more meat to the story. When will you post more?
 
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