Diary of a Teenage Sociopath
Time to Die!When I got to my room, I slammed the door behind me. I paced around for a while trying to calm myself, then I went and sat down at my desk. I held my head in my hands, still breathing heavily. ‘I’m obviously going to have to get rid of Nicky too’, I thought. I lifted my head and looked at myself in a mirror that was sitting on my desk. My long platinum blond hair was stuck to my face and neck with sweat, and my dark brown eyes looked almost black. I studied my pale face with dislike. I’d never liked the way I looked. The irritation rose up in me again. I hit the mirror as hard as I could with the back of my hand. It shattered into a dozen pieces all over my desk. I put my hands under the desk so I couldn’t break any thing else. I hadn’t had a break down like this since I was six. My parents had gotten me a pet cat that was less then friendly, and I was holding it in the kitchen when it bit me. It infuriated me, so I stabbed it to death with a butter knife that was sitting on the table. The doctors told my parents that I was suffering from “transplant shock”, and that it was totally normal for me to brutally murder my cat.
Someone knocked on my door, “Erin? Is every thing ok in there?” my mother asked. I closed my eyes trying to sound calm, “Ya, why?” I asked.
“Well we thought we heard a crash.”
“Oh, I just dropped my mirror.”
“Did you cut yourself?!” she asked with concern.
I rolled my eyes, “No mom, I’m fine.”
“Well, good night then.”
“Good night.” I heard her walk down the stairs.
I slid my hand down my face and noticed that I was bleeding. I held my hand out in front of me. There was a long gash going along the back of my hand that was spilling over with blood. It was only then that I felt the sharp pain radiating through my hand. I looked down and saw that there was blood on the carpet and on my skirt. I cursed quietly to myself and went to the bathroom to bandage my wound. I went back to my room and started to clean up. When I was done cleaning off the blood, I went to pick up the mirror. I looked at myself in the shattered glass. The broken pieces made my face looked deformed and inhuman.
When I was done cleaning I got in bed and closed my eyes. I grimaced with pain. My hand was throbbing, despite the three aspirin I had taken. I willed myself to sleep, trying to escape the pain.
It was the day of the party, and the whole house was in a rush to get ready. My parents had invited over some friends to help, several neighbors, my aunt and uncle and their kids, and Nicky, who hadn’t stopped talking since the moment she arrived. I wasn’t allowed to do much because of my hand, which I evidently cut deep enough to need stitches.
The day passed slowly. I was sitting on the back porch, observing a flock of sparrows that had invaded the yard, when Nicky came running up to me excitedly, “Erin, Erin. Look what my mother got me!” she said as she pranced out the door. She twirled around so I could see her dress. I had to admit, it was nice. It was thigh length and yellow with faux crystals spiraling down its long sleeves. It accented her long brown hair, and hour-glass shape. “Wow! You look beautiful!” I said with false enthusiasm. She was beaming, “What are you going to wear?” she said excitedly.
“I’ve got a black dress that’s pretty nice.”
“Can I see it?”
“Sure.” I got up and led her to my room.
When we entered my room, I walked to my closet and pulled out my dress. “Wow! I love it!” She said. It was short, like hers, and black with silver stringed designs that looked almost like spider webs. She walked over and felt it, “Wow, is it real silk?” she asked in awe.
“Wow.” She repeated.
My mother knocked on my door, “Girls, can you come down stairs? The guests are starting to get here.”
“Ok, be right there.” I replied. “I’ll meet you down stairs Nicky. I just have to change.”
“Ok, see ya.” She danced out the door.
After I changed I went down stairs. Lilly and Nicky were playing tag in the backyard.
“Hey Erin.” I heard a boy’s voice behind me. I turned around and saw my cousin smiling at me. “Hi Ben!” I said as excitedly as I could. He was the only person was ever glad to see. I had always felt a certain kinship with Ben, which is very unusual for me. “So, how have you been Erin?” He asked happily as he gave me a hug.
“Good. How about you?”
“Great. You look beautiful.”
“Thanks, you do too. So, how are Ragan and Sami?” I didn’t like my cousin Ragan at all; she was a suck-up and a snob. Sami on the other hand, was just as out spoken and opinionated as me.
“Oh, they’re good. Ragan’s all excited about her ‘first date’.” He exaggerated the last words with dislike, he didn’t like Ragan much more than I did. “And Sami is about to start third grade, and he’s pretty excited about that.” He adored Sami.
“Hum…” I said thoughtfully. Sami was almost the same age as Lilly, only two years older.
I saw Lilly go running up the stairs with Sami. I looked around for Nicky, but I couldn’t see her. “So how’s Lilly?” he asked. “Ok. Irritating as always.” I said it with obvious dislike as I watched her climbing the stairs.
“Ben? Can you come here?” I turned around to see who had called him. Ragan was gesturing for him to come to her. She was garbed in a skimpy pink and white dress that was designed to cover virtually nothing. Ben sighed, “Lucky me,” he said sarcastically. “I’ll see you later Air.” He said as he walked away. ‘Air’ had always been his pet nickname for me. “Bye Ben.” I said this with a mocking tone. He turned and glared at me.
I still couldn’t find Nicky anywhere. I went up stairs to see if she was there, but still nothing. Sami bumped into me as he ran down the hall way and into the bathroom. I watched him curiously. ‘He and Lilly must be playing some stupid game’ I thought. When I walked around the corner towards my room, I saw Lilly standing at the top of the stairs with her eyes closed counting. I rolled my eyes and opened the door to my room. I stopped halfway in, and looked back at her. She still had her eyes closed and was counting slowly. ‘This is perfect!’ I thought, ‘who would ever suspect me if Lilly was to ‘fall’ down the stairs. Especially in the in the middle of a party.’ I walked up behind her as quietly as I could and looked down the stairs. The door between living room, where every one was, and the main hall where the stairs led, was closed, as was the door to the kitchen. I looked around one more time to make sure no one was watching. Satisfied, I readied myself, and with one hard shove, I pushed her down the stairs. I watched with satisfaction as she tumbled head-over-heels towards the floor. She hit the ground with a loud thump. I watched her for a minute, making sure that she wasn’t moving, and then walked down slowly.
I looked down at her, not quite sure if she was dead or not. She was lying in a heap; blood was coming out of her nose and mouth, and I could tell that her leg and arm were severely broken. I could see a small bone protruding from her wrist. Her once white dress was now speckled with patches of crimson red. I finally decided that she was dead. I nodded to myself satisfied. ‘Ok,’ I thought. ‘Time to start acting.’
“Mom! Dad! Lilly fell down the stairs!” I yelled as loud as I could. Almost immediately, my mother was running out of the kitchen. “What happened?!” she said in alarm. “I don’t know! I was just walking out of my room when I saw her go down.” I said it with as much panic as I could. “Go get your father and tell him to call 911. He’s in the backyard.” She said with terror. I nodded and ran to get him. I looked up the stairs as I passed. Nicky was standing by the railing looking down at me with horror and shock, and I knew immediately that she saw. I looked at her with the most vicious glare I could, trying to scare her into silence. She stepped back in alarm. I dashed to the backyard to fetch my father. He ran in the house and called an ambulance.
I walked back to the bottom of the stairs. Nicky had gone down to inspect Lilly, as had every one else. I walked over and looked at her and was infuriated to see that she was moving.*