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Unconquerable Soul (Previously known as Duty: To Heart)

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Author's note: Wow. This book has really been a journey for me. I've been working on it for years, and it has...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: Wow. This book has really been a journey for me. I've been working on it for years, and it has continued to grow and evolve as I've gotten older and (hopefully) wiser. I'd love to get feedback, and would gladly return the favor.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 24 Next »

Prologue

“Why her?” Dominik leans over the table towards the masked man, peering at the pictures. Candid shots from behind, far away, in a crowded room. Always the same black-haired teenaged girl. Dominik licks his black lips and smiles slightly – she’s pretty. The masked man lays his menu over the spread of photos, gives the waitress his drink order. When she leaves he lifts the menu, finger dancing over the girl’s oblivious face.
“She’s our way in.” They look at the pictures in silence, the masked man breathing heavily. Against his better judgment, Dominik taps a nail on the bulky body of the brown-eyed boy, never far away from the girl, large club hanging from his belt. As if he’d need it. The other nail finds an older man, also her constant companion, war-hardened and strong.
“And them?”
The masked man slams his fist on the table, ice shaking in the water glasses. “They are nothing! They are weak! Stupid!” He drops his voice. “They will not hinder our goal. We will prevail.” He hisses, breath smelling of rot and Vodka. “She will be the lamb that slaughters the lion.”
Chapters:   1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 24 Next »


Join the Discussion

This book has 21 comments. Post your own now!

milforce said...
Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:30 pm
Oh my gosh…it just hit me that I never read this like I said I would. I am SO sorry, but I honestly forgot. You probably don’t even remember me it’s been so long. I’m the girl who wrote The Girl’s Games: the 71st Hunger Games. You read and gave me a super awesome review so I’m going (hopefully) do the same for you! First off, the prologue was absolutely captivating. The language was fluent and very easy to read so awesome on that! “Broad smiles sparkle ... (more »)
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:26 pm
Thank you so much! Don't worry about not reading it - I forgot too! haha I'm working on a final revision, and trying to spread the info out a little bit more. :) As for your other questions, a "girth" is the thing that you put on a horse to keep the saddle on, or a measure of width. I can't remember the context I was using it in, to be honest. :P And I did mean for Bella's voice to sound different - I'm hoping (not sure if it worked) that the rest of t... (more »)
 
AlexanderIvanAshford said...
Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:34 pm
Amazing book! Love Dudley, love the focus on war. Love the detail in the characters feelings and how they develop!
 
Live-Free-Or-DieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 26, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Just finished, you had to leave off at that spot!? :P It's good so far, there are somethings, like I noticed once you replaced 'they' for 'then', that could be TI and autocorrect though.  Anyway good job, AsIAm!! :D :D
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 27, 2012 at 8:58 am
Thanks so much! :)
 
Vagabond said...
Sept. 24, 2012 at 3:02 am
Amaaaazzzziiiinnnng!! i loved it!!
ADORABLE!!
mind checking my works too :)
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 27, 2012 at 8:59 am
Thanks :) Could you be a little more detailed? I'll do the same for you.
 
ShannonLil99This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 16, 2012 at 8:44 am
It's really good and is full of description. Maybe its a bit long, but books tend to be. I enjoyed reading it x
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 16, 2012 at 9:05 am
Thanks :) 
 
Live-Free-Or-DieThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 11, 2012 at 8:43 am
So I've read 6 chapter so far.  And I love the reletionship between Bella nd Dudley, it's a good story so far.  Great job so far, AsIAm.  And I'm sure the story will just get better and better. :D  God bless  and protect you and your family!
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 12, 2012 at 6:44 am
Thanks so much! :) I hope you continue to like it, and if you see anything that needs to be changed, don't be afraid to tell me. :) God bless you and your family too. :)
 
JustAnotherOwl said...
Sept. 8, 2012 at 5:13 pm
Okay! So I've only read a few chapters so far, but I think that's enough for me to give you at least some feedback...   I'll start with the positive: -I think it's extremely well-written. There weren't any discernible grammatical errors, as far as I can tell. -The descriptions are just wonderful- they make the story more enjoyable as a whole. -I really like the idea you have for this. It's very interesting, and each chapter, you let the reader know just eno... (more »)
 
JustAnotherOwl replied...
Sept. 8, 2012 at 5:14 pm
This didn't seperate my feedback into different sections like I set it up to be- sorry about that!
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 8, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Thanks so much, for compliment and criticism alike! So helpful, and I'm glad it was so long. :) I'm really sorry about the heinous abuse of formatting - that was a Teenink thing - and I'll work on those other issues too. Thanks again!
 
DifferentTeenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 8, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Sounds an awful lot like The Hunger Games, I think I'll read it though. (:
 
Boota replied...
Sept. 8, 2012 at 4:02 pm
I agree with DiffrentTeen, it does sound a little bit like the hunger games from wat i read. Its certantly interesting, but its well, kinda of hard to take it all in... you need to read it in short segments. but it is really descriptive all well written from wat i read.
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 8, 2012 at 4:44 pm
I'm glad both of you guys are taking the time to read it, and Boota, I'm happy you think it's well written. :) I hope as you two read on, it starts to seem different from the Hunger Games to you. While I adore that series, that's not what I was going for at all, and (I hope) the time frame and use of numbers as geographical labels are as far as the similarities go. :) If you guys have any inner evil writing critic inside of you, I hope it decides to come  out now; I'd lo... (more »)
 
Boota replied...
Sept. 8, 2012 at 5:05 pm
no problem with my inner perfectionist coming out to help, i try not to be one, but i will if it helps.
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 8, 2012 at 5:22 pm
It certainly does :) Thanks so much.
 
FlameSeeker373 replied...
Sept. 29, 2012 at 4:31 pm
I have read a little so far and i already like it. Good job so far. I must now return to my mission of finishing this book! :)
 

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