We have to be everything they are. We can never go back to who we were. Every day we change and it isn’t a good thing. Just because they want us to be something, doesn’t mean we have to fulfill that want. Yet every day we continue change who we are for them, because of that, we are basically bowing down and kissing their ass. When we change ourselves to be what others want us to be, it is what is known as an “inner suicidal mission.” Each step we take towards becoming the fake version our friends want us to be, we begin to suffer consequences because of it. The consequences are either external or internal, yet we don’t seem to care until it is too late.

When we continuously change who we are for our friends or anyone else, we lose who we really are. The person we used to be is hidden underneath who we have become. We may not notice it, but we begin to slowly deteriorate inside and out. Every day that we continue to become what some might consider plastic, we become more and more lost within ourselves. We don’t act, dress or even speak like we used to. We have caged up in the back of who we are now, who we used to be. We hang with our friends in the new and polished us, but are we really feeling alive? Some people begin to question if what they are doing is right.

As soon as we begin to question who we are becoming and what to do, we have hit the low self-esteem and insecurity stage. We begin to think about why we started to change who we were, to who we have become. Why are we dumb enough to do that? Why couldn’t we just be happy with who we were? What is wrong with us? Why do we want to be fake? We start knocking ourselves down for our hasty and deadly decision. Some of us even look into the mirror with disgust. Some people begin to remember who they were. When someone starts to focus on who they were and remember those things that can causes us to beat ourselves down over it. We want to put things back where they belong, and if we can’t, we are even harder on ourselves.

At this stage, we have already lost who we are, and we have started on a downhill path to low self-esteem. After this rumbles out of control, we begin to withdraw ourselves from other people. We started to withdraw ourselves earlier, but not to the point of blatant isolation. Now, we are fully consumed within our own insecurities and we face it alone. When someone asks if we want to hang out, we look at them, then at the floor. We either shake our head to answer them or verbally say no and make an excuse. When there is a family event, we might even seclude ourselves from our loved ones. We try not to talk to anyone, and if we can get away with it, we go to a separate room.

After all of this, we begin to take certain situations and blow them out of the water. Someone can say that they like our shoes, and we could twist their words. What? What did you say? What is wrong with my shoes? Because of imitating who our friends are, we lose who we are. Later on, get low self-esteem and that soon leads to isolation. All of this ties into causing reactive thoughts and actions. Reactive thoughts cause our minds to react without a filter and possibly cause us to react with harsh words. Having what is considered “hot headed decisions,” we tend to react on a situation outwardly. In doing so, we can be a danger to ourselves and others. We may take something someone did or said way out of proportion and end up hurting someone to just get away.

We as people don’t understand what it does to us when we change who we are to fit in. We know things that are surface deep, but we have to go under the surface. Conforming ourselves to every one’s standards can break someone down. Changing who we are for others leads to different side-effects that can eventually lead to our suicide.