Solving World Problems - Shaken Not Stirred With A Hint Of Lime

By , São Paulo, CO
It helps to feel less insane when one is not alone; then more people are insane and that might actually make the minority of people who are supposedly sane, insane for being sane...

Moving on here is a random collection of "what if" pondering solutions to today's problems.

Problem: Overpopulation
Solution: Parallel Worlds

Due to the increasing technology in the fields of medicine and bioengineering for mass food production(among other sciences), the average life span of the average individual is steadily increasing. The new fountain of youth is now even believed to be cloning and biogenetical. How can we die when we're able to replace any dysfunctional part in our body? Well, because human nature is to progress, we will continue on the road to scientific and life spanning advancements. So what can we do? Should we apply the One Child Policy? Or promote Euthanasia?

Nope. Instead science-fiction is the answer. More specifically, the theory of parallel universes is the answer. How? Quite simple in theory, but dramatically a rocket science of a realistic solution; if parallel universes really are other dimensions in which other outcomes to history exist, less populated - or even barren worlds exists somewhere in space. These are the worlds in which we could insert pockets of our overpopulated population.

If only Stephen Hawking would get cracka-lakin on some way of folding time over in order achieve an entrance into parallel universes.


Problem: War
Solution: Sedative Inducing Febreeze

War, what is it good for? Yes, you are correct if you answered "absolutely nothing". Death and destruction in large scale effects are the outcomes of this useless human activity. Nevertheless, there is a solution. By simply concocting a delightful breezy mixture that would sedate anyone who whose nose would come in contact with it, we could either arm troops with S.I.F (Sedative Inducing Febreeze Filled) grenades. By the time all the grenades had been activated, restless and ruthless soldiers and terrorists would be sniffing bless. Their evil troubles would be temporarily forgotten and the only thought passing through their minds would be imagining what tropical island's coconut tree leaves are blown by these incredibly tranquilizing fresh cut lemon and citrus fruit breezes. Meanwhile, our soldiers would be wearing protective S.I.F masks to prevent falling into such a distracting sensory bliss and being able to take care of business.

This delightfully scented solution remains on the hands of our top war weapon engineering scientists and the CEO of Febreeze to collaborate into creating the ultimate Febreeze -fit for Uncle Sam's use.

Problem: Inconvenient Weather
Solution: The ultimate hovering and electronically programable weather cloud, T.E.C.

The weather man is usually always wrong. He'll predict sunshine on the day you want to go hiking or swimming and it'll rain nonstop all day. Or a fair and sunny day will be predicted for your first track meet; it'll end up snowing all day, with gusts of wind to slow down your open 800 and you'll wish you brought your parka. Clearly, weather is unpredictable and many times, very unpredictable. We must turn to technology for the solution. And the solution would be T.E.C (the technologically engineered cloud). Rumored to be used for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar, my cloud would be similar to the rumored artificial cloud, except that T.E.C would be better. In addition to providing shade, T.E.C would be able to cover an individual from rain and sunlight, or it would be able to produce both (even simultaneously). Want to build a snowman in the summer? T.E.C can assist by blowing out some serious flakes. You just better have some fast hands to keep the snow from melting in the probably burning summer ground. T.E.C would be designed to be able to reproduce pretty much any weather. You would be able to change features with a small remote control clicker and you could even upgrade your T.E.C for features like making T.E.C be able to rain Hershey Kisses for when you and that special someone are taking a stroll or pennies in case you make it into that Ivy League school and need some confidence as you walk around campus the first day.





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