The other day in, I asked a couple of my friends if they had ever read a book, seen a movie, or watched a tv show where there was a mother who wasn’t in the picture. Not because of death, and not when both parents were out of the picture, but a mother who had left, or wasn’t the custodial parent. They came up with one book.
Then I asked them the same question, but in reverse: what about fathers who were in that position? They listed books, TV shows, movies, and other forms of media across all genres.

I got similar responses when I asked about parents who are abusive, alcoholic, and bad influences in general.
There has always been this idea that mothers are the center of a family. The mother will take care of the children while the father makes money. If there is ever a divorce, mom will get the school week, while dad will get weekends.

I’m not saying that the current representation of fathers who are out of the picture, they are the majority after all, but the fact that it is barely ever a mother who isn’t present can give a glimpse of just how biased our current society is.

And this isn’t just harmful to only women or men. It has been proven time and time again that toxic masculinity, the idea that men must be emotionless beings who only care about sex, money, and power is harmful to everyone.

According to the 2013 census, one out of every six custodial parents were fathers, and yet with the number of all stories about children who have dead parents, live with single mothers, or are adopted, there are
I deal with this myself, as I have a father with full custody and a mother who I haven’t talked to in over a year. I don’t miss her. Every day I hear people say things that I’m sure have good intentions but have no clue that what they are saying has no application to me because they have never heard of that kind of situation before.

They say thing like:
“Should we call her mom to confirm that, sir?”
“Do you need a ride, or is mom on her way?”
“Wait, then who makes dinner?”
“You shouldn’t be avoiding her like that”
“Every girl needs a mother to look up too!”

I promise that if it were my father who was out of the picture, people wouldn’t be nearly as anxious to reunite us.