I used to have such high expectations of people. I believed that they would follow through and show up if I needed them, but I guess that was the problem. I never needed them. Friends are good to have around. Friends make life enjoyable and fun, but when you actually have to count on them, well that’s where the problem arises. People stay when things are happy and easy for them, but when things change, when you change, they will probably leave. And it hurts when they do because you trusted them, which was your first mistake. You had expectations and they let you down. They always will.
First, it starts out small. They show up five, ten minutes late. No big deal. Then, they reschedule and reschedule the rescheduled time. Eventually, they stop showing up at all. Stop returning you texts. Stop calling you back. Start fading away. And you sit alone, wondering where they went and the truth is that they didn’t leave, they were never really there at all.
There is a difference between family and friends and it has nothing to do with blood or time. Sure, having a biological sibling or friend that you grew up with increases the chances of them staying when you need them, but this isn’t alway the case. Often times, the only reason that you need someone to lean on is because someone who you love, someone who as been in you life for a long time, is walking out. So time helps, until it just hurts. All of the memories just thrown away, hurt. People who you love, who you have learned to love and are choosing to leave you, hurts. It hurts in a way that is unlike anything else.
It is true to say that all kinds of pain have the same result. Sadness. Tears. Heartbreak. Irrational thinking. Pain only has one ending which doesn’t take into consideration the reason for the pain and sadness. Breakups, divorces, illness, adultery, a friend moving away, death, the end of a great love, losing a job, losing a person. They all end the same way. A way that takes you away from the person that you are.