Too often I have heard sayings about finding those who will be with you in the darkness, not just in the light. Something I never hear is advice on finding those who will not only be there for you in the darkness, but also in the light. Sympathy is an emotion that is easily felt by those watching someone in pain. If you feel sorry for someone, it is hard to not be there for him or her, hard to not dedicate a portion of your happiness to keeping them from falling into utter despair. It makes you feel noble, gives you a quick fix of moral satisfaction.
However, when someone who is genuinely happy is observed, a new emotion is struck into the heart. This emotion, I cannot define. It is not envy. It is not anger. And it is not acceptance. This type of emotion crashes like a wave over the mind. It is obvious if someone has become happy that was once down, one should be happy for him or her. But what if their happiness means them taking time for themselves, time away from you. What if it means they are growing into someone new, changing? This knowledge irritates the mind, for no longer does another person need you to be happy. Change is a hard concept for most people to swallow. So this new changed person who you helped when they were sad is now happy, so purely happy because they have known sadness. And this happiness is different than your own because you have not known their type of pain. It is necessary for people to grow and support themselves at some point. Being happy for someone involves letting them grow, watching them change and helping them find themselves. If this changed person is dissatisfactory to others, but their happiness is clear, it becomes hard to be happy for the individual. Losing someone who relied on you for happiness is hard; it leaves you with a sense of loss. Too often is this loss focused on, and selfishness protrudes. It is important to find others who will be there for you when you fall, grow with you as you change, and love you for whom you become. Only in this way can true relationships prosper. If you find someone who will only be there for you when you are weak, and will not smile with you when you are happy, you are alone despite being surrounded by others. Pure happiness is something one must find within oneself. Those who have not found it within themselves cannot appreciate it in others.