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Day 472 Of Being In Love With You

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I'm sick and tired of crying over you. I've said this exact thing far too many times. If you knew how many tears have fallen because of you, you'd hate yourself. The last thing you ever wanted to do was make me cry. I'm so in love with you and I'm aware that you love me too. I hate feeling nervous butterflies when I'm texting you or talking to you. But I love the look you have in your eyes when you look at me. I hate how everyone in our lives is against us because they're too busy anticipating a bad ending to our love story to see how happy we could be. But, I love how happy you make me. I love the sweet things you say. I love the good morning messages with encouraging bible verses. I love and hate how much we have in common: how our parents have their anniversaries on the same day, how we're both from Africa, how we both share a love and goal for missionary work, and how we both love God and want to devote our lives to His will. Sometimes it feels like we're meant to be together, and other times it feels as if were just fooling ourselves. I wish it was clear. But sometimes it feels like if we are going to end up together, all this mess along the way will just make our love story that much greater. I'm so in love with you. Sometimes it hurts so much that I just want to give up and try to stop my feelings, but I know that it is impossible. I've tried. And in that time period when I tried to stop having feelings for you, I was the most depressed I've ever been. I was a wreck. And after months of trying, I realized the reason I was having such a hard time was because I was and still am and forever will be truly in love with you. I hate how adults say "Oh, they're so young, what do they know about love?" To them I ask "Are you so far removed from your past that you can't honestly say you were in love at our age?" Who do they think they are judging us and our love by our age? Love knows no limits and to those that say otherwise are ignorant and blind. I wish our friends and families could open their eyes and act on their words of just wanting us to be happy. Can't they see that we make each other happy? I know I'm being unfair in this and that it's not all other people's fault that we aren't together. It's ours as well. You don't want a relationship in high school. You think it's the wrong time. And I'm too scared to tell you that if we live always thinking the time is wrong that nothing we ever want to happen will happen. Maybe it is the wrong time right now, but if we keep putting our feelings aside, then there never will be a right time. I'm sick of feeling scared. I'm sick of listening to the voices around us. All there is is you and me. That's all that matters. So, let's be brave and take a risk. Let's throw caution to the wind and if it totally blows up in our faces then at least we will have learned a lesson. We're young. This is the only time we have. And like many people have said in the past "There's no time like the present." So, please take this leap of faith and just openly love me as I have decided to openly love you.

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