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The day you'll find true love

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True Love. The most over-discussed, over-rated, eternally hottest topic of all time. We talk about love like we’re all buckets full of wisdom. Life’s a marathon, characterized by fighting, craving, urging, lusting and dying for love. And Billions have produced thesis-es and completed their P.H.D’s on lovology. Yet it continues to be a mystery. After hours of day dreaming, talking to my notebook, and tying friendship bands to the skies, I realized I do not know how to answer my own questions. Where was true love born? Who invented it? What does true love truly love? Which species does it belong to? What does it look like? I’m insane!

Perhaps true love lives somewhere here. But where do I even get started? Everybody knows what love is… but none to give me its address… Let me ask myself… where have I experienced all of it?
I look outside… and there it is… friends! So caring, so kind, knowing everything about me… Aw! they’re angel-perfect… Until… they start composing genius artificial stories of me that flies like water balloons and ostriches… betrayers, liars and gossipers freak me out… I’m angry, sad and most of all… in fear of being misjudged… Nope love ain't here…

Fine! I don’t need such friends! Wish I had a lover… and there he is… with roses, chocolates and raining beautiful exaggerated poems about how he’d die for me and take me into the moon for a picnic with rainbows and suns and blah blah blah… hahaha boring but at least he makes me happy… until… I discover his hundred masks that hypnotize the brains out of me... sword in the other hand and pure vacuum in the heart… Noo love ain't here…

Crushed and broken I return home to find mom and dad waiting for dinner… of course! This is where love resides… Home! As I begin to crunch my pizza someone screams, cries and moans… I rush to see… a baby… in the trash… How can that be…? Home is supposed to be the selfless storehouse of affection pouring down from heaven… as I flip through the news… orphans are killed, girls sold, babies thrown and innocent kids abused … by their parents! Noo, love ain't in humans…

Tired and exhausted I walk on the bathing roads... To find the most beautiful scenery ever... A cow taking care of a puppy… Amazing beauty that just made my day! Until I find a dog gobble up the kitty…

What is wrong with this world? How can a world devoid of love exist? Why does it even exist? Why do I exist?

Everywhere I go, everywhere I see, fear, fear and fear… that follows me… swallows me. I’m afraid of making mistakes and letting my parents down, afraid of being misunderstood, made fun of and betrayed by friends and everybody else… afraid of the jungles, the seas, the skies, the thunder and the suns… Is love nothing but fear?
I don’t need anybody! I love myself and it’s more than enough… Yeah, serenity finally! But it’s too quiet… and fear continues to laugh, for I’m afraid of failing my soul… I’m afraid of being alone… perhaps only death can bury my chains and kill fear… but I’m afraid of death… I’m afraid of everything! Is this the purpose of my existence? To wash the feet of fear?

True love has to exist in that one person who is glad I live… somebody who wants me to fall in love… somebody who loves me but doesn't need me… Somebody who’ll never throw me into the trash even if I lie worthless… somebody who won’t wear masks or cut me out when I make mistakes… the one who’ll be there to take care of my temporary emotions even if I hurt him… I can’t find him anywhere at all… not in the shrines nor stones, nor in the books…

Of course, the most caring people are often ignored and neglected… We've built him gigantic temples thinking he’d be happy… but we never have time for him ‘cause we’re too busy chasing solitary dreams and building sand castles on bubbles…

He gave us this world, this life, he peeped into our rooms, disguised as Jesus... but we drove him away, stoned, crucified and skinned all those saints alive who could have helped us book our seats in Loveland...

It’s like… one day your parents bring home a gorgeous toy and you fall in love with it and become extremely busy with it all day and night… would you ask them to get out, saying you don’t need them anymore? Would you get angry and threaten to crucify them every time they peeped into your room? And by the time you realize they’re gone for a while, would you assume that they never even existed?! No!

Then why this injustice to the Lord? Our Father! Our true Love!

Go ahead… try to replace God with money, people, success, fame and diamonds and live with false love characterized by fear… your thirst will never die and you’ll always crave for more, you’ll keep running all the time… doubting everyone and dying with pride of shame…

But even after all of this why does God still love us even though he doesn't need us?
Why does God love my flawed troublesome soul?

Its true… true love really is devoid of reasons, formless material-less. It’s blind, deaf and dumb, yet it can come flying and crashing into us without taking our prior appointment! Most of all, its fearless… a divine perfect mad ecstasy…

The day you close your eyes and pray to the lord… not BECAUSE you’re in trouble, not BECAUSE you’re in pain, not BECAUSE you want to get favors done… but for no reason at all… just to talk to him, thank him, be with him, without doubting him and having endless faith in him, without ordering him to perform miracles and asking him to prove his existence… Not just in God, but in every breathing creature, every passing soul… That’ll be the day of your true love.



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