The Teenage Love Story

November 24, 2011
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Theories are everywhere, theories from everyone who can speak. This is mine.

Teenage relationships. The good, the bad, the bold, the inadequate comparison between your first and your last, moving on up and settling for less, those nights you wish never ended to the times you couldn’t even stand being around them, the broken hearts and all those tears you cried and the 45 Taylor Swift breakup songs that you have in your Itunes library with 100 plays a piece, in my opinion are just not worth it. The word relationship is defined as a connection, association, or involvement, a connection between persons by blood or marriage, an emotional or other connection between people and a sexual involvement; affair, all in which are very different. To me, a relationship is just another cycle, a complete round or series of occurrences that repeats or is repeated. This cycle includes 4 major stages.

The Infatuation Stage, formally known as stage one, is what love songs and love stories are all about. That first instinct when you get swept off your feet and “fall” for that one special person You fall hard, madly and crazy in love and get intimate at all levels mental, emotional, and physical. Your mood is charged and you feel energized all the time basking in the thought that your partner wants you as much as you want them. You change your Facebook status to “In a Relationship with ________” and wait for the friendly and encouraging comments to come rolling in. You change your default to the cutest picture, you’re status to songs about love and you trade in your angry Taylor Swift for Love Story. Your text inbox and outbox are now devoted to them, with 20 saved texts in each, all along the lines of “YOU ARE THE BEST

The Power Struggle stage is the most difficult of the teenage relationship. It usually kicks in when the romance wears off. You have already been swept off your feet and dropped on your back, so as you get closer to each other emotionally and physically, weaknesses and soft spots begin to show up and conflicts result in ego-hassles, intense fights, and bouts of depression. You begin to doubt your relationship, in fact, you start questioning if they are the right partner for you, or whether you should continue your relationship or not. You begin to confined in advice from friends who will most likely give you the same advice every time, that ol’ “ Follow your heart” garbage. Yes, I’m sure following you’re heart sounds like great advice in their heads, but when your in power struggle mode, following your heart just doesn’t cut it. You’ve officially traded your T.Swift play list in for a mix of John Mayer, The Fray and all those other bands they play on easy rock radio. At any point during this stage, you have three options: decide to continue to stay together and work your once perfect relationship out, break up and never speak to each other again, hitting on each others friends in a deep rage of jealousy, or you split and realize that you must grow and learn how to make relationships work which in all honesty, just doesn’t happen too often. However, this is not the last time this stage approaches.

Beyond the power struggle, you move towards the in the Transformation Stage - but only if you decide to do the inner work required. This is the stage of the most personal of all relationship stages. You do a lot of soul searching to discover who you truly are, what you stand for, what your needs, desires, and life goals are. In the transformation stage, you are doing one of two things. You are working your life around you’re new found love, showing and growing together as one. You go out with each other, but also can go out alone and know you’re trusted. You aren’t texting 24/7 but you know you’re always on their mind. However, on the other hand, you have a wandering eye and keep your eyes open for something better to cross your path. You’re Facebook relationship status is now hidden and you begin to listen to meaningless fist pumping, club bouncing, party hopping music. Congratulations. This stage is to make you finish childhood, heal your past emotional wounds, learn to appreciate and love yourself. Once you love yourself, you can learn to love others. Because your growth is ongoing, your transformation stage is like a spiral, with times more intense and challenging than others. You may begin to think you or your partner is crazy and suffers from bi-polor outbursts, but don’t worry, you are not a psycho, you are a teenager.

Making it through the transformation stage can be a difficult time but it only gets worse. The Conflict Arise Stage, the last and final stage is next. You have now discovered your needs, defined your goals, and have tried to negotiated them with your partner who has different goals and life plans. You may want to go to university while they may want to work at a comic book store and become the provinces hot dog eating champion. You may want to travel and they may not want to leave their mothers basement until the day they die. You may want to drive a nice car, live in a big house and have the perfect family, while they would much rather drive a mo-ped, share a bachelor pad with their “bros” and be their family. That is when you must leave, no questions, no concerns. But hey, maybe it’s you. Maybe you are just too possessive, too clingy, too uptight, too upbeat, too optimistic, too sensitive, too aggressive, too in love to leave, no that’s not it. You are just too used to the fact of having someone. In which the cycle completes itself and begins again. You drop the old baggage that your grandmother had bought for you when you turned 12 and pick up that new set of all matching luggage that seems even more perfect. After the cycle begins again, your ex is soon to delete you from their phone, Facebook and msn, also known as their life. Not to worry, expect an “I’m Sorry” friendship request in the days to follow.





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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Nick5 said...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:41 pm
Omit the first sentence, "Theories are everywhere, theories from everyone who can speak. This is mine." and you are golden. beuatiful article. I would love to see more work by you.
 
Waka $inamon; said...
Dec. 5, 2011 at 9:35 am
True. No other way to say it. just true.
 
Zahria said...
Nov. 30, 2011 at 9:40 pm
I read all of this. Its very true and very good you should keep going and make a bigger book. Ill buy !!
 
hmoulton replied...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:39 pm
You are too sweet! Thank you for your feedback, I will keep the book thing in mind! 
 
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