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Maybe it has happened to you. Maybe you have done it yourself. Either way we have all had to go through that shocking pain that we don’t understand. Regardless of what the other says it will happen. You all know what I am talking about. The break up.
We are all left with the same questions that we never get answered. Was it me or was it him? Did I say something wrong? Did I not do something right? Either way we have to face it.
Pain strikes us in many ways but this has to be the second worst pain you will ever feel in your life. When you find someone you really like or better yet love and if anything happens then you get that little feeling in the pit of your stomach. Then all you want to do is go find a little corner all to yourself and just sit there. Maybe you are one of the people that go out a buy an amazing outfit and then wear it the next time you definatly know your going to see him. Devious.
I myself, no lie, just had someone break up with me and I am going through some of this right now. I have the little pain that I want to go away. I want everything to go back the way it was last week when it was just great. I want him to tell me he loves me again. But the sad truth of the matter is that I will have to get over it. He told me he loved me, he held my hand in front of his friends and his parents. He took me on the best date I have ever had in my life but it still turned out bad.
I had really liked him before and we attempted to make it work but we were in fourth grade and, well, in fourth grade. When we got into the eighth grade, I couldn’t have liked him more. There again he went past me and we continued with our lives. This year my freshmen year of high school I knew I was going to make this work. So I told him one night how I felt and it turned out he felt the same way. Form there on I couldn’t get him out of my head.
I went with him to a festival and it turned out to be amazing. We walked and talked and sat out under the stars at a table overlooking a bridge and a river. There were lights everywhere behind him when I looked at him and I swear there was nothing more beautiful. I told him that too.
I want to know if it hurts him as bad as it hurts me. I want him to feel the way I am feeling. But there again I don’t want him to have to go through the pain-suffering-agony-anger-frustration-revenge plotting-feeling that I am going through right now.
He hurt me bad. It was the worst break-up line ever that he used. “Can we go back to being friends?” Do you think he knows how well that’s going to work out? I don’t think he really does. Is it that easy for him just to say something like that and not even think twice about it? When he looked me in the eyes and told me that I almost fell. I didn’t know what to say so I just simply said “ok”.
I understand that he was sorry because that’s what he said over and over again. Is he really? Who knows, maybe he really was but didn’t know what he wanted. Maybe it was all just a mistake and he meant to say something else. When I fell for him I fell pretty hard. All I have to say for that is Oh well. That’s all I think I can say.
I’m not going to let him know how I feel now. If at any time he ends up reading this he will realize it is too late. I want him back sure but if that ever comes up again I have to remember the pain he put me through and wonder if I want to do this again or risk my heart in a whole new game with him. I don’t know what I will do but when the time comes I will definatly write another of these.
I kind of hope he reads this just so he knows how I feel. Maybe I will put it on MySpace or something. That’s all that I have to say about this. Any questions post a comment.
P.S. For anyone who need a good song go and look up Amber Pacific. They are amazing.