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PresiDONTial Election

Since 2015, the race to be the next president of the United States has been in full swing. Like always, the old, white males of the country are supporting the Republican candidates that still think it’s the 1960s. The members of the GOP never fail to make themselves look stupid by trying to counter the Democrats’ reasonable and innovative ideas for the US with ideals that their land stealing ancestors came up with. The 2016 Presidential Election has candidates that are so vacuous, we would be better off with having an actual lizard as a leader.


Hailing from our beloved city, New York, is the most popular Republican candidate, Donald Trump. He legitimately believes that he can have a country pay for a wall that will prohibit their citizens from coming into the U.S. This is coming from the same guy that thinks a million dollars is a “small loan,” and for some reason people are considering to cast their vote for him. He can barely run a TV series, how can one expect him to run a country? Also, he obviously doesn’t know how to spend money, which is a vital skill to have when taking care of the US. Instead of wasting all his money on a presidential campaign that is the equivalent of a tumor, he should worry more about the squirrel situation on his head and get a real stylist. All around, Donald Trump is a horrible person. He has no respect for women, let alone his own daughter. A man that often has thoughts about dating his child shouldn’t be allowed to be in office. Trump also makes jokes about women’s appearances; in the past he has insulted Ariana Huffington, Rosie O’Donnell and Megyn Kelly. He even stoops low enough to make threats towards the wife of Ted Cruz. He was another Republican candidate that dropped out and was accused of being the Zodiac Killer. Knowing that the human embodiment of a rat is running for president is the scariest thought in the world. He makes Mitt Romney look like a decent being.


One of the Democratic candidates, Hillary Clinton, isn’t the worst person to have in office, but some of her acts are questionable. She is willing to release private information about extraterrestrial life to the younger generation, since they are so interested about space. She is trying her hardest to please the Millennials, one day she might break a hip by trying to “whip” or “nae nae.” If anything she isn’t a hazard to the country; she’s more of a hazard to herself. Bernie Sanders has the same ideals as Clinton, but there’s one thing that separates the two them: Bernie actually cares. Until recently, Clinton never really seemed to care about black lives. Now she tries so hard to support their movement to get their votes, because they make up a large part of America. Bernie Sanders always cared, he even supported Martin Luther King during the 1960’s. He seems to be more popular with the Millennials, while Clinton is more likeable towards the older crowd. 2016 has proven to be a weird year so far, where there are people willing to vote for another old white dude rather than a woman. However, he isn’t a life size Dorito like Trump or a reptile lady like Clinton, so he’s probably our best bet.




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