Ode to Wal*Mart

Oh, my sweet enchanting Wal*Mart
With your bountiful aisles of stuff
You hold the key to my heart
And being five minutes away, just isn’t close enough
When I need something, you’re always there
Whether it’s chicken, candy or hair gel
You’re always there to show you care
With all that crap you sell
My neighborhood once was surrounded by useless trees
But then one day I was overjoyed
To see that to make room for your beauty
All those stupid trees were cut down, burned and destroyed!
Oh, how I simply cannot wait
Until strip malls and Wal*Marts cover the entire state!