As I sit here with a paper,

And the world continues spinning

I think of all the candidates,

And which one will be winning.

Tsongas is fantastic,

But he sounds like he is dead.

What Buchanan really needs

Is another hole in the head.

Cuomo didn't even run;

His head must have been thick.

Let's throw a nuke at David Duke,

He's making people sick.

Brown's a really nifty guy,

But he just beamed down from Mars.

Clinton's got that Kennedy charm.

He should be out selling used cars.

Our "Fearless Leader" has the advantage,

With that big incumbent's push.

We need a candidate with clippers,

Who can go out and trim the Bush.

Any could be a winner,

With several leaps and vaults.

What the voters need to look for

Is the least of the walking faults.