He Murdered for Her

October 12, 2011
By AngelsLullaby GOLD, Neverland, Idaho
AngelsLullaby GOLD, Neverland, Idaho
12 articles 7 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
Music is a higher revelation from wisdom and philosophy. ~Ludwig Von Beethoven


Summary:

Tomas Hartley want's Vanessa's baby. He'll even kill to have them both with him. That's just what he does. He murders her mother and father then tries to get Vanessa to fall in love with him. It's a story about love, murder, family and crazy people.


AngelsLullaby

He Murdered for Her


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This book has 12 comments.


Kaitquincy said...
on Oct. 16 2013 at 1:01 pm
Awesome! Wow this was amazing

on Jan. 12 2013 at 9:51 pm
Freckles3 BRONZE, ------------, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The universe is not only queerer than we suppose; it is queerer than we can suppose."
~J.B.S. Haldane

I read this at NIGHT. Now Tomas is gonna attack me while I sleep, I just know it. If I can sleep. You're gonna give me nightmares! (That means you did a good job)

on Jan. 18 2012 at 5:17 pm
Timekeeper DIAMOND, Cary, North Carolina
62 articles 0 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk'?, and I say 'No that's trendy'!"- Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day

Every once in a while the sentences ran on a little too long. Other than that, I loved it! I am definitely looking forward to a sequel!

on Jan. 16 2012 at 1:11 pm
AngelsLullaby GOLD, Neverland, Idaho
12 articles 7 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
Music is a higher revelation from wisdom and philosophy. ~Ludwig Von Beethoven

Thank you :) I think I did better in my second book called "The Devils Rose." But thanks for your feedback :)

on Jan. 16 2012 at 6:07 am
BabyDocra BRONZE, Plymouth, Other
2 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is like the ocean; You cannot contain it for it is too large, but you cannot unleash it for it would drown the world.

Also, feel free to take a look at my stuff. There will be more uploaded soon :)

on Jan. 16 2012 at 6:06 am
BabyDocra BRONZE, Plymouth, Other
2 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is like the ocean; You cannot contain it for it is too large, but you cannot unleash it for it would drown the world.

I really enjoyed reading this :) You have wonderful ideas, and a brilliant storyline. I would suggest that if you do a sequel, to pad out the chapters more, and to not make some actions or what the characters say so cliché and expected. Try to put a spin on it, but don't make it obvious. Describe actions more, so the reader can see exactly what they're doing or thinking. Other than that, I completely loved it, some moments where I could relate to the main character. I would definitely love to see a sequel, you've created a fan in me :)

on Dec. 4 2011 at 3:26 pm
no fense but i dont undestand emri's "critique"

on Oct. 13 2011 at 3:44 pm
AngelsLullaby GOLD, Neverland, Idaho
12 articles 7 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
Music is a higher revelation from wisdom and philosophy. ~Ludwig Von Beethoven

I've never really thought of starting with the subject as a bad thing. But thanks for the tip. And I wasn't aware there were spelling errors or grammar problems. Though the spell check got that all for me.

BluBliss GOLD said...
on Oct. 13 2011 at 3:22 pm
BluBliss GOLD, New York, New York
14 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bella's love for Edward was like, "Omg. He's hot. He's mine because he sparkles. Now I'll brood the wholle book while I'm with him."

I love the plot here. Dude, it's awesome. Or, dudette. But as critique, you seem to always start with teh subject, then the action. Some diversity in this pattern would be nice. And some description in between actions. I'm not gonna tell ya about grammer or spelling, cuz, well, that's just easily fixed with Grammer Checker. I hate it when people critique me on teh grammer.

on Oct. 13 2011 at 2:29 pm
Kev-Girl SILVER, Plymouth, Indiana
5 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is a maybe. Death is for sure. Sin is the cause. Christ is the cure. :)

Love is the breath of God, and prayer is the melody that makes it sing.

If you cant annoy someone, there's no point in writing.

Love is overrated, marry for money.

YAY! :)    

on Oct. 13 2011 at 2:14 pm
AngelsLullaby GOLD, Neverland, Idaho
12 articles 7 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
Music is a higher revelation from wisdom and philosophy. ~Ludwig Von Beethoven

Thank you :)

Will be working on the sequel soon :)


on Oct. 13 2011 at 10:53 am
Kev-Girl SILVER, Plymouth, Indiana
5 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is a maybe. Death is for sure. Sin is the cause. Christ is the cure. :)

Love is the breath of God, and prayer is the melody that makes it sing.

If you cant annoy someone, there's no point in writing.

Love is overrated, marry for money.

Oh please do a sequel! This is amazing! I love books like this, so I read the whole thing! This is really good, and I wanna know what happens! Please keep writing! :)


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