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Th Asylum

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Author's note: This is basically everything I think about at night turned into a creepy story.
Author's note: This is basically everything I think about at night turned into a creepy story.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5

The Conclusion

5
(The Sound, The Secret, The Light, Justice, and The Words… The Conclusion)
It’s got to be at least three now.
I did call it, and now, I can’t stop thinking. My God! It’s happening! The secret, I know what he means…
And that noise, it’s unbearable! Please, God, make it stop! I don’t want this! I’ve dabbled in things far too wonderful for me! I can’t take this! I need air. I need that incessant silence to be gone. There’s no escape at this hour.
My bike streaks through the hazy darkness, like an intruder in the mist. I don’t belong. The shapes of the trees, the faces and distinctly shifting colors they form scream a delightfully painful melody to me, the lyrics whisper the workings of my mind into my mind.
I understand. I could never do it.
Then I think of the horrors given to the innocent and helpless by depraved brains.
I happen to know of one in this neighborhood.
The night’s music literally cuts out, and I see the words “You are but a man.” drift across my sight.
His door seems charged with a current, a dry, orange current, a deathly current.
This knife, dare I put my mark on justice? Dare I provoke the hand of God?
Is this right?
Too late, I see him. He’s so fat and stupid and satisfied in his misery.
He shouldn’t be here. I’m not the one who’s out of place.
A tortured little girl’s face hangs in the air.
I plunge the knife into his torso.
“This is for the unfulfilled dreams!
“This is for the corrupted youth!
“This is for innocence lost!
“This is for a murdering monstrous dog!
“This is for new eras that will never be!
“This is for the victim’s parents!”
Whatever may have been, I have decided.
There can be no repentance, no changing of my ways, I chose the path that leads to death, but at least I understand life.
Simon and Garfunkle got it right; I think they saw things in this way; I think they understood.

“Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence…

“And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

“’Fools’, said I, ‘You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you’
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

“And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, ‘The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls’
And whispered in the sounds of silence.”
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5


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This book has 22 comments. Post your own!

ShayleeMarThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 11, 2012 at 6:47 pm:
Amazing!

I love the way you write. I makes you think and wonder. I think that this would really confuse the kids in my philosophy class. Wow so deep and insightful it made me wonder whether the crazy are sane and the sane crazy and ignorant. I thouroghly enjoyed it.

 
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DallysGrrl said...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm:
I thought that this novel was really great! The interesting stand that your character makes and the position that he's been put into is something that I rarely see done well. Your descriptions were wonderfully engrossing and I loved that you created three unique but ultimately alike characters that influence your narrator so greatly. I was impressed! I hope that you can check out some of my work, especially my thriller stuff like Solitude and Secrets, Secrets are No Fun. Thanks and great job!
 
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RhythmAndRhyme said...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 4:33 pm:

This is utterly, absolutely, and without a doubt on this Earth the best, most powerful, most beautiful, and most insightful work I've read on this website.

It leaves one to wonder.

 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 9:52 pm :
Wow! Thank you! :D This is without a doubt, the most complimentary comment I've ever received... and I usually receive good feedback. :O
 
RhythmAndRhyme replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 8:25 pm :

lol you're welcome! I've always loved this sort of thing (even though I'm not particularly sure how to describe exactly what "this sort of thing" is....). I've read many things vaguely similar to this, but this, by far, was the best. All of your stuff is amazing, to be honest.

I especially love Robinson the Clown (both the original and the rewrite).

 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 5:45 pm :
Which is funny, because that one was one of my least favorites... Thank you though, I love when people love my work. I also love when people don't love it, and honestly tell me why, but in an entirely different way.
 
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DisicpleofChristandJesusEnthusiast said...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 1:39 pm:
I really liked this. If you can check out my stuff that would be cool. REALLY loved it!
 
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JustEmily said...
Jul. 5, 2011 at 1:24 pm:
Just wondering: Is it supposed to be "The Asylum" and not "Th Asylum"?
 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jul. 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm :
... Yes, I know. I noticed that as soon as it was too late. :/ That's the one thing I'd change about this site: you can't edit stuff once it's posted. Anyway, what did you think otherwise? :P
 
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NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 9:30 am:
Wow. That was quite intriguing and really makes the reader think! I really don't have any criticisms! Awesome job. Keep up the good work :)
 
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freeflow23 said...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 2:28 pm:
This was an intriguing read. It's amazing how your mind works and how you managed to put it all on paper.
 
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WritingSpasms said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 7:41 pm:
This is probably one of the most interesting novels I have read on here. Honestly, I have no criticisms. I love psycho thrillers. They creep the living daylights out of me, but I can never stop reading them. And I assure you that you've done a fantastic job of doing that. xD Well done!
 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:44 am :
Thank you! (And I know what you mean about the no criticisms thing) occasionally I'll read stories that are too good, or I'm just not thoughtful enough, so I can't think of any complaint.
 
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Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 7:19 pm:

Even agreeing with CarrieAnn13 that the long dialogue made it a bit unrealistic, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I think you should keep it exactly the way it is, because your message is really interesting. Nobody does ever know if they're 'mad'--that's just a term for someone who thinks differently than everyone else. If there were a favorite button for a novel, I would totally make this a favorite. It was kind of poetic, in a way, and I absolutely loved your diction. It was perfect. You des... (more »)

 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:39 am :
Yeah... I meant that it's short for a chapter book. I wasnt' quite sure what to call it. It seemed slightly short even for a novella, but slightly too long for a short story. :/ Anyway, thanks for the feedback!
 
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Finchy said...
Jun. 27, 2011 at 6:44 pm:

IncorrectlyWired

I enjoyed your story! Ever since I was old enough to read, I have enjoyed psychological thrillers. Getting to listen in on the thoughts of a man losing his mind is something that can only be experienced in fictionl, and you have done a swell job at representing it here. I thought this was a very dark, brooding novel and look forward to reading more of your work.

Cheers

Finchy

 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 28, 2011 at 10:41 am :
Thank you! It's always been something I was interested in, and honestly, (not quite to the same extent of course) the main character's thoughts are my thoughts. I pretty much wrote the first two chapters verbally at three in the morning. :D
 
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CarrieAnn13 said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 8:17 pm:
This was a chilling book.  It's an interesting read and I really enjoyed it.  I know it's hard, but by making the dialogue a little bit shorter could also make it more realistic.  Other than that, good job!
 
IncorrectlyWired replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 10:44 pm :
except that it's not really dialogue... it's more of a monologue. I did it intentionally, this story is about the point, not realism or even the "plot." Thank you for the imput, I hate when people just say "OMG! THIS IS SOOO GOOD! <3" Even if I disagree, you obviously thought about it.
 
ShadowriderThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 11:20 pm :
This was beautiful, disturbing, and all to true! The way you write electrifies and makes you think. Utterly, Completely, Amazing!
 
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