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In Between

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Author's note: This is one of my first novels I have written. I really enjoyed writing it and am looking forward...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: This is one of my first novels I have written. I really enjoyed writing it and am looking forward to writing more novels in the future.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 23 Next »

Michelle

Colors blend with one another as they swirl around me. First, there is a mix of red and blue. Then, purple. Then there is a flash of yellow, which dimmed to a burned orange.
It takes me a while to realize that I, too, am one of these colors.
It takes me a while to realize anything. My thoughts are not flowing freely, words taking minutes just to process in my brain, and it takes even longer to put them together. There is only one thing that is clear:
I have no idea what is going on.
I am flying, soaring, up and up. The ground below me is growing farther and farther away. My family is still down there, my home, my friends. My entire life is down there, and I am leaving it behind. I have to go back.
I try and turn around, but I have no control over my body. I have no body. I am just another color in this sea of colors. My body is still down on earth. I am leaving that behind, too.
I try to call out, try to yell for help, but I have no voice. And the other colors do not have a voice to respond with anyway. I wonder if they are as confused as I am, or if I am alone.
Finally, my thoughts process that if this is not my body, this is my spirit. Which means I am dead. How I died, I could not figure out. The words were there, but I could not put them in order.
How could I have died when I was so prepared for life? All of those years of work are put to waste.
Oh God, I pray, my prayer for some reason clear in my mind. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? What about my family, God? Will they be able to go on as happy as they were before without me? What about my friends, God? Will they be able to handle this as well as the rest of their high school life? What about me, God? What is going to happen to me?
I don’t want to die.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 23 Next »


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This book has 46 comments. Post your own!

Nikiblue said...
Apr. 22, 2011 at 10:36 pm:
I only read the first four chapters, but I feel like this story has a lot of potential, and I liked it so far. Although as PJD17 said, it could use a bit more description, just so the reader can really visualize everything clearly. Otherwise, keep up the good work (:
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:16 am :
Thanks! I hope you enjoy the rest of it
 
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PJD17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 22, 2011 at 4:04 pm:
i have read the first eight chapters so far, and i will try to read more if i get the chance, but let me tell you what i think so far   the storty starts off well  the first couple of lines really draw the reader in  the prologue is interesting and certainly made me want to continue reading, but i did have a little bit of a problem with how it was written  i thought that the prologue came off as a little choppy  im afraid i cant really come up with a specific exampl... (more »)
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:16 am :
Thanks for the feedback, it was really helpful. I'll try to get around to editing it but right now I am busy working on another novel
 
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lucybrown97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 16, 2011 at 12:45 pm:

Wow, this is amazing!  I normally don’t like stories like this, but I just had to keep reading, I was so excited to figure out more about the characters.  The emotion was so strong in some places that I felt like I was about to cry, especially in the Prologue when Hope kills her brother, and Chapter 12 when Michelle visits her parents and Sam.  The plot is really good too; it kept me guessing- I was sure that Luke was the murderer for a while, and then Chapter 17 made me ... (more »)

 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 12:14 am :
I'm glad you liked it! I spent a really long time writing this and I am happy how it turned out
 
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