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In Between

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Author's note: This is one of my first novels I have written. I really enjoyed writing it and am looking forward...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: This is one of my first novels I have written. I really enjoyed writing it and am looking forward to writing more novels in the future.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 23 Next »

Sam

Dry leaves crunch under my shoe as I walk home through the woods from school. Normally, I use the peacefulness of the walk to think of ideas my writing, but there seems to be an eerie feeling in the atmosphere. I cannot help but quicken my pace a little bit.
I hear more leaves crunching behind me. I jump, but turn around to see a couple of boys a year older than me from my neighborhood.
“Hey, faggot!” one of them calls out.
It is Luke, a boy whose face, which I have never seen without a mean sneer, is covered with acne. It seems as if the only thing in his wardrobe is skinny jeans and dark hoodies.
I pretend not to hear them and keep walking forward, my eyes glued to one of the trees in front of me. I dare not look back twice.
I feel a tug on the hood of my sweatshirt and I am pulled back. Losing balance, I begin to fall, my arms waving back and forth in a useless attempt to break my fall. I wince as I land on a pointy twig that is poking out from under the dirt. My notebook, which I was hugging to my chest, has fallen in front of me.
Come on Sam, defend yourself.
How can I defend myself? All of these boys were a lot stronger than me, and there was no one to help me. I was hopeless.
“Oh, look! It’s Sam’s poetry!” Luke snickers, picking up the notebook faster than my hands can reach for it.
“Hey, give that back!” I yell.
I try to stand up, but one of the boys kicks me so hard in the ribs that I could have sworn I heard a crack. I cry out in pain, and curl up into the fetal position under the boy’s foot.
“Maybe if we make Sam cry, he will write a poem about us!” One of the boys says, but I am in too much pain to figure out who it was.
He kicks the notebook, some of the pages flying out. One of the papers slowly lands in front of me. Written on it was one of my poems I wrote in between classes.
I am on the run from misery,
But there is no where to hide
“I wonder.” Luke agrees.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Luke pull out a pocket knife. He gently runs the blade down the side of my face, pausing at my throat.
“If I make you cry, will you run home and write a poem about us? Show it to your mommy?”
When I do not answer, he kicks me in the same spot the other guy had kicked me. It takes everything to stop myself from screaming.
“Answer me, fag.” he yells, the knife pressing a little harder against the skin of my neck.
I close my eyes tight, not wanting to see my own blood being drawn. I wonder if Luke had an intention of killing me, like someone killed Michelle. For a brief second, I wonder if maybe Luke was the murderer, but I do not have too much time to dwell on the subject. Suddenly, the knife is thrown on the ground, and I hear Luke swear as he is shoved away from me.
“Leave him alone!” I hear another boy, his voice sounding dangerous.
I open my eyes. Luke is now too on the ground, blood gushing from his nose.
The boy picks up the knife that has fallen from Luke’s hand.
“Get out of here. Unless one of you wants to get seriously hurt.”
After Luke and his friends were a distance away, the boy tries to help me sit up. I whimper a little, so he lays me back down again.
“How badly did they hurt you?” he asks.
“Bad.” I mutter.
“Look, I have been meaning to talk to you. I was friends with your sister, Michelle.”
I want to answer, but it hurts to even breathe.
“I think you are like me. Can you,” he pauses to find the right words, “See or hear things no one else can?”
I look at him confused. A secret that has not once left my lips, not even in my writing, is known by a complete stranger.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 23 Next »


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This book has 46 comments. Post your own!

xelawriter97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 11:16 am:
I LOVE the prologue! I can't stop reading it's so good. And yes! You should make the prologue a short story!!!! :-)
 
xelawriter97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 11:19 am :
nevermind, I saw the story "The Murder of My Brother" Yay
 
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FlashlevitationThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 1:22 pm:
This sounds a lot like The Lovely Bones so I don't find it very original.
 
.Izzy. replied...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm :
Thank you for your feedback. The Lovely Bones is probably my favorite book and I've noticed the similar plot. But the stories also have a lot of differences too. I have read tons of stories on here which have reminded me of books I have read, but that's their own personal version of the story. But, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
 
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Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 13, 2011 at 6:50 am:
Wow. I just read the prologue and I. Literally. Got. Goosebumps. It was amazing! The voice is really strong and drew me in really well. I am definitely going to read on immediately. Good job!!! :)
 
.Izzy. replied...
May 13, 2011 at 6:41 pm :
Thanks you!
 
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Aslienctvoice said...
May 12, 2011 at 3:03 pm:
ok. W. O. W!!!!! I only have read the prolong and I love it!!! That was amazing!! i cant wait to read more!!!
 
.Izzy. replied...
May 12, 2011 at 4:57 pm :
Thanks! I was thinking of also making the prologue a short story but I'm not sure
 
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DaylightDarkness said...
May 10, 2011 at 7:29 pm:
This is awesome! I just finished chapter three but youve drawn me in. You got the perfect blend a realistic beleivability, fear, suspense, and skin crawling anticipation here! I'll admit it, this may be the first mystery book i like!
 
.Izzy. replied...
May 11, 2011 at 6:16 pm :
Thanks I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far!
 
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alex198 said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 6:03 pm:
This was a really great novel! My favourite part was actually the prologue. You built up such a great atmosphere and tension. It was really creepy and disturbing and at parts hard to read, but in a good way :) I also loved your characters. They were really distinctive characters and I liked the changing points of view because of this. I always knew when the point of view had changed even if I didn't read the name at the top. I loved it! :)
 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 6:51 pm :
I'm glad you liked it even though it parts it was hard to read :b Thanks!
 
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AEAluvsanimals said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 11:42 pm:

Great novel! There are a few things i think you could improve, like going into how lonely Sam is now that his sister- the only person he really cared about is gone. Also, some of the dialouge seems a bit forced, like when Luke says I can't deal with the emotional pain. People don't reallt talk like that. He might say, " It hurts." or "You think I would kill someone else? You think I could? Look what the first murder did to me!"

But nobody ever says they have emotional pain. A... (more »)

 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 5:42 am :
Thank you! I got one comment about how they found the way my characters talk to be a little weird. Now that you pointed that out, I think it will be an easy fix.
 
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navishjaved said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 8:28 pm:

This book is excellent! I knew that this would have a twist to it. :D I love books that have twists to them. It was hard for me to guess who the murderer was . . . I ended up being wrong! I was 101% sure that Luke was the murder.

You do a really great job of organizing your paragraphs, chapters, sentences, words. :) My heart was pounded as I read. It was so sad in the beginning when she killed her brother. I felt so many emotions during this book.

I even asked my little s... (more »)

 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 5:41 am :
I'm glad you liked it! I noticed my chapters were short, especially in comparison to the prologue, so I'll definitely get around to fixing that
 
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Medina D. said...
Apr. 25, 2011 at 10:53 pm:
This story reminds me very much of another story........the lovely bones. Sorry it took me such a while to read it. I'll admit, i got emotional while reading it. You did a great job. If there were any grammar mistakes, i probably missed them because i was so caught up in the story. i knew Hope was the murderer, but i loved how the prologue really connected with the last part of the story; the begining must've been the most interesting chapter. But if these are all going to be chapters in a book,... (more »)
 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 5:46 am :
I actually got the idea for the story right after reading  the book, it's one of my favorites. I'll probably get around to editing the chapters and making them longer-i noticed they were much shorter compared to the prologue. Thanks!
 
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Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 10:53 am:
The prologue was definitely a great grabber point, but I felt the subsequent chapters were far too short in comparison. Perhaps cutting down on the number of chapters in order to have longer chapters?
 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:35 am :
Good idea. I had noticed that my prologue was really long, but I was not sure how to make the other chapters longer as well. Thanks for the idea
 
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