Facebook Activity



Teen Ink on Twitter

Report abuse Submit my work Share/bookmark Email Print Home

In Between

Rate this article:
Author's note: This is one of my first novels I have written. I really enjoyed writing it and am looking forward...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: This is one of my first novels I have written. I really enjoyed writing it and am looking forward to writing more novels in the future.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 21 22 23

Michelle

Colors blend with one another as they swirl around me. First, there is a mix of red and blue. Then, purple. Then there is a flash of yellow, which dimmed to a burned orange.
I am flying, soaring, up and up. The ground below me is growing farther and farther away. But I am not afraid.
I am free.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 ... 21 22 23


Join the Discussion


This book has 46 comments. Post your own!

xelawriter97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 11:16 am:
I LOVE the prologue! I can't stop reading it's so good. And yes! You should make the prologue a short story!!!! :-)
 
xelawriter97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 11:19 am :
nevermind, I saw the story "The Murder of My Brother" Yay
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
FlashlevitationThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 1:22 pm:
This sounds a lot like The Lovely Bones so I don't find it very original.
 
.Izzy. replied...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm :
Thank you for your feedback. The Lovely Bones is probably my favorite book and I've noticed the similar plot. But the stories also have a lot of differences too. I have read tons of stories on here which have reminded me of books I have read, but that's their own personal version of the story. But, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 13, 2011 at 6:50 am:
Wow. I just read the prologue and I. Literally. Got. Goosebumps. It was amazing! The voice is really strong and drew me in really well. I am definitely going to read on immediately. Good job!!! :)
 
.Izzy. replied...
May 13, 2011 at 6:41 pm :
Thanks you!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Aslienctvoice said...
May 12, 2011 at 3:03 pm:
ok. W. O. W!!!!! I only have read the prolong and I love it!!! That was amazing!! i cant wait to read more!!!
 
.Izzy. replied...
May 12, 2011 at 4:57 pm :
Thanks! I was thinking of also making the prologue a short story but I'm not sure
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
DaylightDarkness said...
May 10, 2011 at 7:29 pm:
This is awesome! I just finished chapter three but youve drawn me in. You got the perfect blend a realistic beleivability, fear, suspense, and skin crawling anticipation here! I'll admit it, this may be the first mystery book i like!
 
.Izzy. replied...
May 11, 2011 at 6:16 pm :
Thanks I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
alex198 said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 6:03 pm:
This was a really great novel! My favourite part was actually the prologue. You built up such a great atmosphere and tension. It was really creepy and disturbing and at parts hard to read, but in a good way :) I also loved your characters. They were really distinctive characters and I liked the changing points of view because of this. I always knew when the point of view had changed even if I didn't read the name at the top. I loved it! :)
 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 6:51 pm :
I'm glad you liked it even though it parts it was hard to read :b Thanks!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
AEAluvsanimals said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 11:42 pm:

Great novel! There are a few things i think you could improve, like going into how lonely Sam is now that his sister- the only person he really cared about is gone. Also, some of the dialouge seems a bit forced, like when Luke says I can't deal with the emotional pain. People don't reallt talk like that. He might say, " It hurts." or "You think I would kill someone else? You think I could? Look what the first murder did to me!"

But nobody ever says they have emotional pain. A... (more »)

 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 5:42 am :
Thank you! I got one comment about how they found the way my characters talk to be a little weird. Now that you pointed that out, I think it will be an easy fix.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
navishjaved said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 8:28 pm:

This book is excellent! I knew that this would have a twist to it. :D I love books that have twists to them. It was hard for me to guess who the murderer was . . . I ended up being wrong! I was 101% sure that Luke was the murder.

You do a really great job of organizing your paragraphs, chapters, sentences, words. :) My heart was pounded as I read. It was so sad in the beginning when she killed her brother. I felt so many emotions during this book.

I even asked my little s... (more »)

 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 5:41 am :
I'm glad you liked it! I noticed my chapters were short, especially in comparison to the prologue, so I'll definitely get around to fixing that
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Medina D. said...
Apr. 25, 2011 at 10:53 pm:
This story reminds me very much of another story........the lovely bones. Sorry it took me such a while to read it. I'll admit, i got emotional while reading it. You did a great job. If there were any grammar mistakes, i probably missed them because i was so caught up in the story. i knew Hope was the murderer, but i loved how the prologue really connected with the last part of the story; the begining must've been the most interesting chapter. But if these are all going to be chapters in a book,... (more »)
 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 5:46 am :
I actually got the idea for the story right after reading  the book, it's one of my favorites. I'll probably get around to editing the chapters and making them longer-i noticed they were much shorter compared to the prologue. Thanks!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 10:53 am:
The prologue was definitely a great grabber point, but I felt the subsequent chapters were far too short in comparison. Perhaps cutting down on the number of chapters in order to have longer chapters?
 
.Izzy. replied...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:35 am :
Good idea. I had noticed that my prologue was really long, but I was not sure how to make the other chapters longer as well. Thanks for the idea
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 

Launch Teen Ink Chat
Site Feedback