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In Between

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Author's note: This is one of my first novels I have written. I really enjoyed writing it and am looking forward...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: This is one of my first novels I have written. I really enjoyed writing it and am looking forward to writing more novels in the future.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 23 Next »

Sam

If you talk to me, it is considered social suicide.
The only person who ever talks to me is Nancy Ford, a girl who is desperately in need of a shower. She will sometimes sit herself down at my empty corner of the lunch table in the cafeteria so she herself will not have to sit alone. Her constant chatter about who knows what makes it hard to concentrate on my poetry.
Yes, poetry. Go ahead and call me a fag, I am used to the names by now. I carry my notebook around and use any spare minutes I have in between tests, or when the computer freezes and the teacher has to spend the next few minutes trying to figure out what is wrong, to write. To me, writing is freedom from the cruel world around me. I can say whatever I want with no limitations, and am not judged harshly by my peers. It is relief from the long hours I have to spend here in this hell teachers’ prefer to call school. I will not deny it, it is my obsession.
However, today not even Nancy Ford will talk to me, for last night my sister, Michelle, had mysteriously disappeared.
She probably figured that if she wanted to talk to me, she would have to stop talking about herself for once and try to give me some sympathy. A task too hard for her, she did not invite herself to sit with me at lunch today.
Next week, Michelle would have turned eighteen. She had almost lived to be an adult. She would have been a successful adult, too. A straight-A honors student and excellent musician, there would have been so much opportunity in the life which she has no chance to experience. On top of being a perfect student, she was also my perfect sister. She was the only one who was allowed to read my poetry, and she never had judged me for it, in fact, she always told me to keep my head high and someday I would be a great writer.
When she did not come home from school last night, I did not think much of it.
She was very busy with after school activities that this was not anything out of the ordinary. When dinner was served and Michelle’s chair was empty, Mom was muttering about how she could have at least called and Dad was choosing his words to scold her with as soon as she walked in the door. When the dishes were put away, I returned to my room to write poetry as if it were any other day, not worried at all. However, Mom and Dad began to get slightly worried when they called her cell phone and got her voicemail. They got even more worried when they called her some of her close friends, and they told them that Michelle did not show up to school at all. When they called her other peers, they got similar responses.
The police were called, but I still did not come downstairs. I scribbled away in my notebook a little anxious. I did not think that Michelle was harmed, I held firmly to the false belief that things like that just did not happen outside of newspaper stories, especially not to my sister. She was okay, and when she would come home we would all laugh about it while eating the cheesecake she had prepared the night before.
Michelle did not come home last night.
Despite this news, my parents still forced me to go to school. They, too, held on to the belief that things like this could not and would not happen to their beloved Michelle.
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 23 Next »


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This book has 46 comments. Post your own!

xelawriter97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 11:16 am:
I LOVE the prologue! I can't stop reading it's so good. And yes! You should make the prologue a short story!!!! :-)
 
xelawriter97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 11:19 am :
nevermind, I saw the story "The Murder of My Brother" Yay
 
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FlashlevitationThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 1:22 pm:
This sounds a lot like The Lovely Bones so I don't find it very original.
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 3:09 pm :
Thank you for your feedback. The Lovely Bones is probably my favorite book and I've noticed the similar plot. But the stories also have a lot of differences too. I have read tons of stories on here which have reminded me of books I have read, but that's their own personal version of the story. But, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
 
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Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 13, 2011 at 6:50 am:
Wow. I just read the prologue and I. Literally. Got. Goosebumps. It was amazing! The voice is really strong and drew me in really well. I am definitely going to read on immediately. Good job!!! :)
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 13, 2011 at 6:41 pm :
Thanks you!
 
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Aslienctvoice said...
May 12, 2011 at 3:03 pm:
ok. W. O. W!!!!! I only have read the prolong and I love it!!! That was amazing!! i cant wait to read more!!!
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 12, 2011 at 4:57 pm :
Thanks! I was thinking of also making the prologue a short story but I'm not sure
 
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DaylightDarkness said...
May 10, 2011 at 7:29 pm:
This is awesome! I just finished chapter three but youve drawn me in. You got the perfect blend a realistic beleivability, fear, suspense, and skin crawling anticipation here! I'll admit it, this may be the first mystery book i like!
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
May 11, 2011 at 6:16 pm :
Thanks I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far!
 
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alex198 said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 6:03 pm:
This was a really great novel! My favourite part was actually the prologue. You built up such a great atmosphere and tension. It was really creepy and disturbing and at parts hard to read, but in a good way :) I also loved your characters. They were really distinctive characters and I liked the changing points of view because of this. I always knew when the point of view had changed even if I didn't read the name at the top. I loved it! :)
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 6:51 pm :
I'm glad you liked it even though it parts it was hard to read :b Thanks!
 
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AEAluvsanimals said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 11:42 pm:

Great novel! There are a few things i think you could improve, like going into how lonely Sam is now that his sister- the only person he really cared about is gone. Also, some of the dialouge seems a bit forced, like when Luke says I can't deal with the emotional pain. People don't reallt talk like that. He might say, " It hurts." or "You think I would kill someone else? You think I could? Look what the first murder did to me!"

But nobody ever says they have emotional pain. A... (more »)

 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 5:42 am :
Thank you! I got one comment about how they found the way my characters talk to be a little weird. Now that you pointed that out, I think it will be an easy fix.
 
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navishjaved said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 8:28 pm:

This book is excellent! I knew that this would have a twist to it. :D I love books that have twists to them. It was hard for me to guess who the murderer was . . . I ended up being wrong! I was 101% sure that Luke was the murder.

You do a really great job of organizing your paragraphs, chapters, sentences, words. :) My heart was pounded as I read. It was so sad in the beginning when she killed her brother. I felt so many emotions during this book.

I even asked my little s... (more »)

 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 5:41 am :
I'm glad you liked it! I noticed my chapters were short, especially in comparison to the prologue, so I'll definitely get around to fixing that
 
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Medina D. said...
Apr. 25, 2011 at 10:53 pm:
This story reminds me very much of another story........the lovely bones. Sorry it took me such a while to read it. I'll admit, i got emotional while reading it. You did a great job. If there were any grammar mistakes, i probably missed them because i was so caught up in the story. i knew Hope was the murderer, but i loved how the prologue really connected with the last part of the story; the begining must've been the most interesting chapter. But if these are all going to be chapters in a book,... (more »)
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 5:46 am :
I actually got the idea for the story right after reading  the book, it's one of my favorites. I'll probably get around to editing the chapters and making them longer-i noticed they were much shorter compared to the prologue. Thanks!
 
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Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 10:53 am:
The prologue was definitely a great grabber point, but I felt the subsequent chapters were far too short in comparison. Perhaps cutting down on the number of chapters in order to have longer chapters?
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 11:35 am :
Good idea. I had noticed that my prologue was really long, but I was not sure how to make the other chapters longer as well. Thanks for the idea
 
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