Teen Ink

this is a really goooooooooooooood 

book i new and would like a few tips

because i am writing my first thriller story.

"reminds me of when Dad would take me out for ice cream, just the two of us. We would watch the cars. I would count the blue. He would count the silver."

Aww, That reminds me of the movie "Up" :)

Great novel! There are a few things i think you could improve, like going into how lonely Sam is now that his sister- the only person he really cared about is gone. Also, some of the dialouge seems a bit forced, like when Luke says I can't deal with the emotional pain. People don't reallt talk like that. He might say, " It hurts." or "You think I would kill someone else? You think I could? Look what the first murder did to me!"

But nobody ever says they have emotional pain. A... (more »)

This book is excellent! I knew that this would have a twist to it. :D I love books that have twists to them. It was hard for me to guess who the murderer was . . . I ended up being wrong! I was 101% sure that Luke was the murder.

You do a really great job of organizing your paragraphs, chapters, sentences, words. :) My heart was pounded as I read. It was so sad in the beginning when she killed her brother. I felt so many emotions during this book.

I even asked my little s... (more »)

Wow, this is amazing!  I normally don’t like stories like this, but I just had to keep reading, I was so excited to figure out more about the characters.  The emotion was so strong in some places that I felt like I was about to cry, especially in the Prologue when Hope kills her brother, and Chapter 12 when Michelle visits her parents and Sam.  The plot is really good too; it kept me guessing- I was sure that Luke was the murderer for a while, and then Chapter 17 made me ... (more »)