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Chalice

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Amethyst B.
Chalice
Summary: Chalice was born with a gift, the gift to see and hear the dead. Her parents thought she was insane and gave her away to an unknown asylum. She has been trapped there for most of her life, being poked and drugged over and over.

Then one stormy night, a dark stranger comes to her and offers her his help. But nothing is free, there is always a price. What is Chalice's?



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This book has 11 comments. Post your own!

Freckles3This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 3, 2012 at 8:21 am:
Creepy. Wow. Really good horror story! 
 
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sherrinford This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 8, 2012 at 8:03 am:
Any more chapters please? I would like to read on. 
 
A_Blair replied...
Apr. 11, 2012 at 8:38 am :
I am working on it! Don't worry, it's just a really hard story to get moving, lol.
 
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macarr7 said...
Feb. 2, 2012 at 10:31 pm:
wow!!!!!!that was awesome!!that would make for a perfect urban legend
 
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SN3RD said...
Nov. 6, 2011 at 10:38 am:
You're book's really good :) Think you could check either of mine out: Perceptive or Hunter's Point? It'd be nice for some feedback.
 
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_Zavery_This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 1:19 pm:

I rarely get interested in TI articles. But you grasped my attention so quickly. Well done!

Critisism: I think this is a bit too repetitive. You can try and use synonyms or just some new description words. Or else you may lose the reader's interest after hooking them on with that fantabulous first sentence.   =)

 
A_Blair replied...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 12:07 pm :

Thank you so much! Your comment means a lot to me...and as I've said, it was fixed. But I lost it and I haven't had the motivationto go back and fix it yet...

But I do know what you mean.

 
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dragonbee said...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 10:16 pm:
oh who cares about rite punctuation.... the story pulls you in it grabs you from the very first word like, i was there and that is a work of a true artist
 
A_Blair replied...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 11:27 pm :
Thank you, I tried really hard to word this correctly so it would pull people in. And I'm glad it did!
 
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ColorfulExpectations said...
Jun. 26, 2011 at 1:13 pm:
Hey, this is a great story so far! However, I would watch for little errors such as misspellings, incorrect punctuation, and leaving off suffixes. Other than those minor improvements that could be made, well done! :)
 
A_Blair replied...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 11:25 pm :
Sorry about the grammar...this is an unedited version of it. I lost the edited and elongated version and I haven't had the passion to go back in fix things yet...but I want too! So hopefully, one day I will!
 
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