The Black Arrow Murders

February 2, 2011
By Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
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Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
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Black Arrow Minnesota is a small farm town of only two-thousand people. Not much happens in this little town and the people are mostly farmers. Noah Finch is seventeen and has always dreamed of leaving Black Arrow. Noah and his older brother Charlie live alone on the old Finch farm after their parents past away in a car accident. Charlie is twenty-four and has always been there for Noah like a good big brother.

No one lives anywhere near the Finch farm except there is an old abandoned red house a mile down the road. It used to belong to old man Brown but no one knows where he went. Some say old man brown died and is still in the house but town folk and the sheriff have been in the house and haven’t seen old man Brown in the house. Others say they saw Brown in the forest by a campfire at night but it can’t be proven that old man Brown is still alive. Old man Brown once had a family but his wife left him and his daughter died while camping with Brown.

There is only one school in Black Arrow and that is where Noah is about to start his senior year. Noah isn’t much of a social person but in a small town there are only six hundred kids at the school. Noah’s class is only eighty students. Including a girl Noah has had a crush on since she moved to Black Arrow back in the second grade. Grace Simmons was a beautiful brunette, with brown eyes. Grace and Noah weren’t really friends but they’ve talked a few times over the years and every time Noah just babbled like an idiot.

Noah’s best and only friend was Brandon Pearson. Brandon’s family was filthy rich. They owned one of the biggest farms in Minnesota. The Pearson’s are the richest people in Black Arrow and often flaunted their wealth to others. They weren’t well liked because of it and that made Brandon a social outcast just like Noah.

A week after school started Noah was walking home from school and he noticed a few moving trucks driving down the street to the old abandoned Brown House.

When Noah got home he saw Charlie staring out the window down the road watching trucks come and go.

“What’s with the truck at Ol’ Man Brown’s place?” Noah asked.
“I think someone bought the old shack, I would never buy that load of trash.” Charlie responded.
Well Noah went to his room to start on his homework before he did his chores and his phone rings.
“Brandon...” he told himself.
“I’ll call him back later.”
Noah wasn’t very fond of school and he hated homework more then anything. Noah was barely passing his whole life; school just didn’t come easy for him.
“Finally.” Noah said to himself as he finished his homework. When he left his room to go do his daily chores he noticed Charlie still staring out the window.
“You know it’s been three hours don’t ya?” He said.
“Yeah, I know. But whoever bought that load of crap house has been bringin stuff there all day.” Charlie said.
“Well I’m gonna go clean out the coop you should start on supper, Charlie.”
Noah said.
“Yeah I know. Whatya want for supper?”
Charlie asked.

“Whatever.” Noah responded.


The only animals that Noah and Charlie owned were three chickens. Noah loved the chickens and he talked to them like friends.
“Afternoon ladies”
Noah said as he walked into the coop. Noah loved spending time in the coop with the chickens; he loved the chickens and they loved him. Except the old rooster that would just sit in the corner of the coop and stare at Noah.
“Why is it that all you do is sit on your lazy butt?” he said to the rooster.
Well the rooster got up when Noah was cleaning the droppings from the chickens and the rooster pecked his butt.
“OW!” he screamed.
“You stupid rooster!” he yelled as the rooster made his was back to his corner and sat.
“Why does the bird hate me so much?” he asked himself as he walked out of the coop.

Charlie wasn’t really good at anything. Dropped out of school at sixteen and didn’t contribute much to the farm when his daddy was alive. He was really bad at cooking. That was probably what he was worst at. Noah got used to his meals always being over or under cooked.

Every night Noah and Charlie would stay up and watch old movies on the old television their parents owned. Pretty much everything was old on the Finch land.

“Are you ever gonna get outta this town?” Noah asked.
“I hope so; I wanna do something with my life instead of workin at Bob’s all my life.” Charlie said
Bob’s was the only restaurant in Black Arrow and Charlie worked there since he was fifteen.

Noah and Charlie weren’t very close. They used to be before their parents passed. Since their parents passed Charlie has kept most things to himself.

At school the next day Noah was walking through the front door when he hears some yell.
“Hey butt head!” “Why didn’t you answer my call last night?” Brandon asked angrily
“Sorry, I was doin my homework and chores, I didn’t have time.” Noah said

“You’re such a nerd” Brandon said following a laugh and a punch to Noah’s arm.

“Anyway, I was callin to tell you what I was doin last night.” Brandon said with a smile.

“Do I even wanna know?” Noah asked as he opened his locker.

“I went to Bob’s last night” Brandon said with the same stupid smile on his face

“Great, why are you so happy about goin to Bob’s?” Noah asked as he was starting to get annoyed with Brandon.

“Well that’s not why I’m happy. I’m happy because I went with Grace Simmons.” Brandon said arrogantly.

Obviously Noah wasn’t too pleased about his best friend goin out on a date with the girl he’s admired for years.


“Why would Grace go out with you?” Noah asked angrily

“Why wouldn’t she be? I’m handsome, funny, and smart.” Brandon said.

“Yeah, that’s it.” Noah said as he rolled his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Brandon said with a puzzled look on his face.

“Dude she went out with you because you’re rich, that’s all.” Noah said.

“Shut up! She and I went out because she has a thing for me.” Brandon said angrily.

“Mhmm your right cause you’re such a stud Brandon.” Noah said sarcastically.

Brandon was irate and tried punching Noah in the head but Noah moved and Brandon’s strike went straight into the locker and Noah slammed it shut on Brandon’s hand.

“Ow!” Brandon screamed and fell to the floor clutching his hand. Noah just walked away and didn’t see Brandon again that day. Brandon called Noah that night though.

“What do you want?” Noah said in an annoyed tone as he answered the phone.

“You broke my hand you jerk!” Brandon screamed at the top of his lungs.

“You helped.” Noah said amusingly.
“I hate you!” Brandon screamed.

“Okay” Noah replied then he hung up the phone.

“Someone needs to chill out.” Noah said to himself as he lay in bed reading.


Charlie walks into Noah’s room with a strange look on his face; Noah doesn’t look at him instead just focuses on his book.

“Um, Hey bud, can you put down the book for a second?” Charlie slurred.

Then Noah looks up and see’s Charlie and can tell something is wrong.

“What’s up?” Noah said as he set the book down on his bedside table.


Charlie sat down on the foot of Noah’s bed and didn’t say anything.

“Charlie?” Noah asked, concerned about his brother.

“Sam was out back and I heard her barking, facing the ol’ Brown house and I opened the door she looked back at me then ran off down the road” Charlie said as he was shaking.

Sam was the family dog that Charlie and Noah’s dad bought when Noah turned one.

“Its fine she’s out all the time” Noah said.

“I know I just don’t like her running out this late at night, I’m worried she’ll get hurt” Charlie said still shaking.

“She’ll be fine Charlie, I’m goin to bed can you go?” Noah asked.

“Yeah, goodnight.” Charlie said as he walked out of Noah’s room shutting the door behind him.

“That was weird; I haven’t seen Charlie like that since mom and pa.” Noah said to himself quietly.

The next week passed like most do for Noah, school wasn’t interesting for him. Nothing really interested Noah, nothing except football. He could never go to a Vikings or Gophers game, only watch them on TV. And his school didn’t have sports so all he’d do is toss the ball around with Charlie or Brandon. He didn’t have homework tonight and all he had to do was clean the garage. So he wanted to go out and play but Charlie was working. Brandon had a broken hand and was still mad at Noah and Noah was mad at him.




Noah decided to just play by himself. Noah was a talented kicker. On the land there were two trees next to each other that grew into a perfect Up-Right. Noah wanted to see how well he could kick today so he set up thirty yards away and kicked the ball through almost every time and he did it for hours that night. He kicked until he couldn’t see anymore. As Noah was getting the ball and walking into the house he sees a red light in the woods behind the Brown house.


The woods were miles thick and stretched into the mountains to the north and hardly anyone went in there, especially at night. Noah was scared.


He walked in the back door right before Charlie pulled in the drive way.

Noah threw the ball and tee in the closet and ran into the family room and quickly turned the TV on. Charlie walked in and asked “What did you do today?”

Noah with adrenaline rushing through him quickly responded “just watched TV all day”

Charlie went and took a shower and came out in his towel and went in the kitchen to get a soda and looked out the front window towards the Brown house.

“Noah…” Charlie said.
“Yeah?” Noah responded.

“Have you seen the new owner of the Ol’ house?” Charlie asked.
“No, why?” Noah responded.
“Just wondering, I think I’m gonna go over tomorrow and introduce myself, do you want to go?” Charlie asked.
“Not really” Noah said as he yawned.
“Okay, well I’m goin to bed, oh by the way, did you lock the garage after cleaning today?” Charlie asked.

“Yeah, good night.” Noah said as he yawned again.
“Good night” Charlie said and he went in his room and shut the door.


Noah turned the TV off and looked out the window and the red light flashed in the woods again.

“I must be seeing things” Noah convinced himself as he went into his room to go to bed.

The next day after school Brandon was walking down the hall with Grace and they were holding hands and Brandon stopped to talk to Noah at his locker.

“Hey Idiot.” he said
“What do you want?” Noah said in an annoyed tone.

“Well I just stopped to say hi before me and Grace go out tonight.” Brandon said confidently.

“Why do I care?” Noah said as he shut his locker.
“You’re just jealous.” Brandon said with a smile on his face.

“Why are you such a jerk?” Grace asked. “You can forget about going out tonight.” she said
“FINE!” Brandon yelled and walked off.
“I’m sorry about him.” Grace said.
“It’s fine.” Noah said
“Your name is Noah right? “Grace asked. “Yeah.” Noah said.
“Well I’m Grace.” She said with a smile.
“I know.” Noah said.

“Do you want to come over and do homework with me at my place?” She asked with a smile.
“Umm sure where do you live?” he asked.
“Just across the street in the blue house.” She said.
“Ok let’s go I don’t wanna stay here anymore.” He said and laughed.


Noah and Grace got to Grace’s house and Noah met her parents.

“Mom! I’m home and I brought a friend over to do homework.” She yelled into the kitchen.
“Hi sweetheart how was school? What friend came over?” Mrs. Simmons asked.

“School was fine and it’s my new friend Noah.” Grace said.
“Ok well have fun.” Mrs. Simmons said

“Love you mom.” Grace said.
“Love you too.” Mrs. Simmons said.

“Sorry about that.” She said.

“It’s fine.” Noah said as he chuckled.
“Are you’re parents that embarrassing when you bring friends over?” She asked.

“My parents died three years ago in a car accident.” Noah said.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Grace said with a disappointed look on her face.

“It’s okay; I live with my older brother Charlie.” Noah said.
“That’s cool, where do you live?” Grace asked.

“About two miles away on a farm, no one lives around me.” Noah said.

“That’s cool.” Grace said.


Grace and Noah finished their homework and Noah went home but when he got home Charlie wasn’t there. Noah looked everywhere. Charlie was no where to be found.

The next morning was Saturday morning and every Saturday morning Noah and Charlie would always go out to break fast at Bob’s, but recently they stopped doing it because Charlie didn’t want to go. Instead the two would spend the day watching TV and playing catch with the football.


“Nice Catch!” Charlie yelled as Noah made a one handed diving grab.
“Made the best of a bad throw.” Noah said with a smile.

“Yeah, whatever, you throw like a girl you know?” Charlie said.
“Speaking of girls when are you going to get one?” Noah said as he chuckled.

“When you get a job.” Charlie said as he caught the ball.


The two played for another hour until Noah asked Charlie about the person who moved into the Brown house.


“Did you ever meet whoever bought the Brown place?” Noah asked as the two made their way back into the house.
“No I didn’t. I went over there yesterday but no one was home.” Charlie said.

“I kind of want to meet him. Figure out why anyone would move to that beat up house.” Noah said as he tossed the football in the closet.

“Hey Noah, can you make sure the garage is locked?” Charlie asked as he was walking into his room.
“Yeah no problem.” Noah said as he walked out the back door.


Noah went into the garage and saw Sam lying there.

“Sam! How did you get in here?” Noah asked.



Noah helped Sam up and brought her into the kitchen so she could eat. Charlie walked out of his room and saw Sam eating in the kitchen.



“Sam! Where were you?!” Charlie said.
“I found her in the garage.” Noah said.
“How did she get in there?” Charlie asked.
“No idea.” Noah said.
“Well I’m glad she is okay.” Charlie said as he walked back into his room.


Noah was in his room reading when his phone rang.


“Unknown caller.” Noah said
“Hello.” he said as he answered his phone.

“Noah, hey it’s Grace.” Grace said
“Oh hey Grace, um how did you get my number?” Noah asked.

“Got it out of Brandon’s phone.” She said.
“Well that makes sense.” Noah said.

“Haha yeah well I wanted to know if you had plans tomorrow, if you were free, I wanted to know if you wanted to come over.” Grace said
“I’m not busy; sure I’ll be there around noon. Wait, why are you asking me to come over and not Brandon?” Noah asked

“He’s going with his parents to the football game or something. He invited me to go but I didn’t want to.” She said.

“Why not? He’s your boyfriend isn’t he?” Noah asked.
“I guess, I don’t really like him, he’s kind of a jerk.” Grace said

“Yeah lately.” Noah said.
“Well I got to go to bed I’ll see you tomorrow.” Grace said in a happy tone.

“Ok goodnight see you tomorrow.” Noah said.


The two hung up and Noah put his book on his table and turned his light off and went to sleep.

The next morning came and Noah woke up in a great mood. He had a gut feeling today was going to be a great day. He got out of bed and immediately started getting ready.



“What am I gonna wear today?” he said to himself.

He shuffles through his closet until he finds something that he likes and he continues to get ready.


He left and started walking to Grace’s house but before he got there he noticed Grace was walking towards him.



“My house isn’t a good place to spend today.” She said.
“Oh, Why?” Noah asked.

“My dad isn’t in a good mood.” She said.
“Okay well do you want to go to my house?” Noah asked

“Sure, but lets go to Bob’s I’m starving.” She sad.
“Okay my brother is working there today maybe he’ll give us a discount.” Noah said sarcastically.



The two made their way to Bob’s and sat down at a booth and waited for a waiter to come ask what they wanted.
“What can I get you two this morning?” A female waiter said.


“Well I want a side of scrambled eggs and some bacon.” Grace said.
“I’ll have the same and can you ask Charlie to come out I need to talk to him.” Noah asked the waiter politely.

“I’ll get your orders right out, but I’m afraid Charlie doesn’t work here anymore. He was fired three weeks ago, I’m sorry” The waiter said before she walked towards the kitchen.

“That’s weird.” Noah said.

“I wonder why he was fired.” Grace said.
“Well I guess I’ll know tonight.” Noah said.

“Here you are.” the waitress said as she brought out the two plates.

Noah and Grace enjoyed their breakfast and left to go to Noah’s house.

“So what do you wanna do?” Noah asked.

“I don’t care, watch TV?” Grace said
“Okay that works.” Noah said

“What is that?” Grace said as she pointed to black smoke rising from the bottom of the mountain near the woods.

“A fire of some sort, someone must be out camping.” Noah said

The two got to Noah’s house to see Sam barking non-stop at the direction the smoke was.

“Shut up!” Noah yelled.
Sam stopped and went in and laid in the kitchen.

Grace and Noah watched TV until four and Grace had to leave.



“I had fun.” she said
“Me too.” Noah said

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Noah said

Grace smiled and said “Can I tell you something?”
“Yeah sure” Noah said

“I like you, I have since I moved here.” She said with a smile.
“I like you too; I have for a long time.” He said.

Grace smiled and kissed Noah on the cheek and made her way to the door.
“See you tomorrow.” She said in a happy tone.

“Bye.” Noah said
“Wow.” Noah said as he sat down on the couch.
“That was surprising.” He said

He turned off the TV and started to make dinner. Charlie walked through the front door.

“Hey bud, what you making for dinner?” he asked.

“Stir Fry” Noah said
“Sounds good” Charlie said.

“How was work?” Noah asked.
“Slow day.” Charlie said.

“Where do you work?” Noah asked “I went to Bob’s this morning and the waitress said you were fired three weeks ago.” Noah said.

“Oh, I was hoping you wouldn’t find out about that” Charlie said.

“So where have you been for the last three weeks?” Noah asked

“At John’s, he’s helping me look for a job.” Charlie said

John was Charlie’s best friend that he went to school with.

“Okay.” Noah said

“What were you doin at Bob’s anyway?” Charlie asked
“Had breakfast with a friend then we came here and watched TV.” Noah said.

“What friend? Brandon?” Charlie asked.
“No, not Brandon.” Noah said

“Who then?” Charlie asked
“Grace Simmons.” Noah said.

“A girl? You actually are friends with a girl?” Charlie said amusingly.
“Yeah? What’s so surprising about that?” Noah asked.

“You’re so quiet and shy.” Charlie said.
“Oh well.” Noah said.

“I’m gonna take a shower before dinner be right back.” Charlie said as he laughed and made his way to the bathroom.


Noah finished making dinner and Charlie and him ate and went to bed. Noah was lying in bed when his phone rang.


“Grace? I wonder what this is about.” he said to himself.
“Hey.” Noah said as he answered the phone.

“Hi” Grace said. Noah could tell she was crying.
“What’s wrong?” Noah asked.

“Brandon and I got in a fight, he called from his hotel in Minneapolis and we talked and he asked what I did today so I told him I hung out with you and he started yelling at me.” Grace said as she continued crying.

“I’m sorry, it’ll be okay.” Noah said.
“He said he was going to kill you when he got back.” Grace said

“Oh well, he’ll cool down.” Noah said
“I’m sorry.” Grace said

“You don’t have any reason to be sorry.” Noah said
“I’m going to sleep, good night Noah; I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Grace said

“Okay, goodnight.” Noah said.

Noah turned off the light and went to sleep. The next day Noah and Grace talked a lot about Grace and Brandon’s relationship.

“I think I’m going to break up with him.” Grace said.
“That would be best for you.” Noah said.

The school day ended and Noah walked Grace home and went home himself.

No more then five minutes after getting home he got a call from Brandon.


“Hello.” Noah said as he answered his phone.

“I come home tonight and tomorrow after school I’m gonna beat you up.” Brandon said angrily.
“Why?” Noah said.

“You spent time with my girlfriend behind my back, what happened between you two yesterday?!” Brandon yelled.

“Nothing happened; we had breakfast at Bob’s then watched TV at my house.” Noah said.

“I don’t believe you!” Brandon yelled.
“Okay.” Noah said.

“Tomorrow after school you’re dead meat.” Brandon said then hung up
“The guy has serious anger problems.” Noah said to himself.


Noah goes into the kitchen to get a snack and he sees a note on the refrigerator.


It said “Noah, I’ll be at John’s tonight. I will be home tomorrow afternoon. Make sure all your chores are done and Keep Sam inside.”


“That’s weird; he never spends the night anywhere.” Noah said to himself.
“Oh well, fine by me, I like being home alone” Noah said as he sat down and turned the TV on.



He watched TV and did his chores and made himself dinner. He was lying in bed on the phone with Grace. He was trying to cheer her up.

“I hate algebra.” She said
“I’m not good at it either.” Noah said

“Dang, I need help with this...” Grace paused halfway through her sentence.


A gunshot went off.
“Did you hear that?” Grace asked.

“Yeah, that was really loud.” Noah said.

“I’m scared.” Grace said.
“It’s fine, probably just someone hunting in the mountains.” Noah said
“Yeah, I guess.” Grace said.


The two continued talking on the phone for awhile then they went to bed.
Noah was nervous for school the next day.
Was Brandon really going to beat him up after school? He was really nervous.

Noah woke up the next morning scared and nervous. He never fought anyone before and was scared if Brandon really wanted to fight him after school. The only bright side of the day was seeing Grace.


Noah arrived at school just before the bell and was just having a bad day. He failed his math test and was having bad luck all day, until the last bell rang.


Noah was at his locker putting his books away. He closed the locker door and saw Brandon waiting there.


“What’s up?” Brandon said.
“What do you want now Brandon?” Noah asked.

“Are you ready?” Brandon asked sarcastically.
“For what?” Noah asked.

“You know what, you ready to put em up?” Brandon asked amusingly.
“I’m not fighting you Brandon.” Noah said.

“Yes you are, whether you want to or not.” Brandon said.
“How are you going to make me?” Noah said.

“Like this!” Brandon yelled as he swung at Noah.

Noah avoided the punch but Brandon didn’t stop and Noah found himself being hit with repeated blows. Grace soon saw Brandon attacking Noah.

“Brandon stop!” Grace yelled.


Brandon didn’t stop. Then out of no where Brandon was punched hard in the back of the head by a large boy.



The boy helped Noah up to his feet and introduced himself.

“I’m Mark.” He said.

“Why did you do that?” Noah asked as he rubbed his head.


Grace came up to the two.

“Noah, this is my cousin, he’s living at my house for a few months.” Grace said.

“Are you okay?” Grace asked Noah.
“Yeah, I’m fine, you didn’t have to do that Mark, it will just cause problems.” Noah said.

“He won’t bother any of us anymore, if he even remembers what happened.” Mark said with a deep laughter.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Grace asked.
“I’m fine don’t worry about it.” Noah said.

“But you’re bleeding, Mark will drive you home come on, let’s go.” Grace said as she grabbed Noah’s hand and led him to Mark’s truck.


Mark drove Noah home and Grace helped Noah into his house and laid him down on the couch and put an ice pack on his head.


“Grace I’m okay you don’t need to do all this.” Noah said.
“You’re pretty beat up…” Grace said.

“I’m fine.” Noah said
“Okay well I need to get home before my mom gets worried.” Grace said.

“Okay.” Noah said.


Grace kissed Noah on the lips and Noah was surprised. Grace smiled.

“Bye.” She said as she waved and walked out the front door.

The next day at school Noah was nervous, looking around the halls for Brandon but he ran into Grace who said Brandon and Mark were both suspended, Noah was relieved.

“How are you feeling?” Grace asked.
“I’m fine.” Noah said.

“Good, what are you doing Friday night?” Grace asked.
“Nothing, why?” Noah replied.

“My parents are having a Halloween party and a bunch of people are gonna be at my house, would you like to come?” Grace asked.
“Sure, that sounds fun.” Noah said.


The bell rang for class to start.

“I’m gonna be late! I’ll call you tonight.” Grace said as she gave Noah a hug and ran off down the hall.

Noah was excited to go to Grace’s Halloween party, he loved Halloween, it was his favorite holiday.


Friday came and all day at school Noah was thinking of Grace and the night to come.


“Noah, what did you get for number nine on the homework?” Mrs. Richland asked.
“Oh, um, fourteen.” Noah said.

“Correct, and Noah, try to pay attention please?” Mrs. Richland asked,
“Yes Ma’am” Noah said.
The final bell of the day rang and Noah went to his locker to throw his books in so he could go home. Grace met him there and she seemed to be very happy.



“What’s got you so happy?” Noah asked with a chuckle.
“I’m excited for tonight.” She said with a smile.

“Me too” Noah said.
“What are you gonna wear for a costume?” Grace asked.

“Costume? Well that’s a surprise.” Noah said.
“Can’t wait to see it.” Grace said with a smile, she gave Noah a kiss on the cheek and started walking to the door.

“Hey! Wait!” Noah yelled as he ran after her.
“Yeah?” Grace said.

“I’ve wanted to do this for years but could never get the courage to but I’m going to now, Grace, will you be my girlfriend?” Noah asked.
“Of course.” Grace said with a huge smile, she kissed him and gave him a hug and she started walking home.

Noah was in a state of nirvana now, he has never been this happy. When he got home he went to his room and into his closet. Noah had a huge collection of Halloween masks and stuff in a big box at the bottom of his closet.

“This will work.” Noah said.

Noah decided he’ll be going to the party dressed as a monster with bloody horns all over its face.

Noah got to the Simmons’s house at around Nine o’clock. Grace answered the door. She was wearing an angel costume.


“Wow, you look beautiful.” Noah said with a smile.
“Thanks, you look scary.” Grace said with a smile and a chuckle.

“I try.” Noah said with a laugh.

The house was filled with people from the town; most of the town’s adults were there, very few kids.

The party was loud and crowded, and Noah and Grace spent the entire time in Grace’s bedroom.
“It’s so loud down there.” Grace said.
“Yeah it is, do you want to watch a movie?” Noah asked.

“Sure, what movie?” Grace asked.
“Only the greatest horror movie ever created.” Noah said as he pulled a DVD out of his coat pocket.

“And what would that be?” Grace asked.
“John Carpenter’s Halloween.” Noah said with a smile.

“That’s a good movie, put it in.” Grace said.


The two sad on Grace’s bed with their backs against the wall and watched the movie. Noah put his arm around her and Grace laid her head on Noah’s shoulder. Out of nowhere a loud woman’s scream silenced everyone downstairs, Noah turned the TV off and everything was dead silent.

Grace and Now went downstairs to see the house empty.

“Where is everyone?” Noah asked.

“No idea.” Grace said.
“You look around the house for your parents I’m gonna go outside for some air.”

“Okay.” Grace said.
Noah went outside and saw a bunch of people across the street in a big group. He went back inside.

“Grace!” he yelled.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing, everyone’s outside across the street for some reason.”
“That’s weird.” Grace said as she started walking to the door.
“Mom!” Grace yelled.
Mrs. Simmons started running to Grace and told her and Noah to go back inside and go up stairs.

“Why?” Grace asked.
“Don’t worry sweetheart just go upstairs please.” Mrs. Simmons said.

“Okay, come on Noah.” Grace said as she grabbed Noah’s hand and they went back inside.


The Two were looking out the window at the large group of people.

“This is pointless, let’s finish the movie.” Noah said.

“Okay.” Grace said,
Noah hugged Grace then made her fall onto the bed.

“Hey!” Grace said
“What?” Noah said with a laugh.

“That’s not nice.” Grace said.
Noah stood up.

“Come over here, lay down.” Grace said as she padded her hand on the bed
“Okay.” Noah said,

Noah laid next to Grace and she put her head on his chest and they watched the movie and accidentally fell asleep.

“Noah get up!” Grace said loudly.

“Why? What time is it?” Noah asked.
“Four thirty!” Grace said,

“Oh man, I’m gonna get in so much trouble!” Noah said as he got up and started putting his stuff in his pockets.

“I gotta get home quick.” Noah said.
“Okay, I’ll call you later.” Grace said.
“Okay.” Noah said.
Noah kissed Grace and silently left the house and started running home as Grace watched him through her window.


Mrs. Simmons walked in Grace’s room.

“Mom! What are you doing up?!” Grace said loudly.

“Your father and I have been up all night.”
“Why?” Grace asked.

“We know Noah slept here last night.”
“I’m sorry, we were watching a movie and we fell asleep” Grace said.

“I’m not mad, neither is your father.” Mrs. Simmons said.
“Why?” Grace asked.

“We didn’t want him going home.” She said.
“Why…?” Grace asked with a confused tone and look on her face.

“It was too dangerous for him to go out, with what happened last night.”
“What happened? Why were you all outside?” Grace asked.

“Mrs. Richland, one of the teachers was outside smoking a cigarette when everyone heard a scream.” She said.
“Yeah we heard that too.” Grace said,

“Well everybody ran outside to see what she was screaming about, when we saw her on the ground with an arrow through her chest.” Mrs. Simmons said as she started crying.
“Oh My God, who did that?” Grace asked.

“No one knows, a few people drove around looking for people but no one could find anybody around, anywhere.” She said,
“That’s terrible!” Grace said as she sat down on her bed.

“Your father and I couldn’t have Noah go home with a murderer loose.” She said.
“Do you want breakfast?” Mrs. Simmons asked.

“No, I’m going back to sleep.” Grace said. “Wait, Noah just left! He just ran home!” Grace said with a worried tone.

“He’s fine, Mark saw him leave and followed him in his truck to take him home.
“Good.” Grace said with a sigh of relief.

“That’s him right now.” Mrs. Simmons said as she pulled out her phone from her pocket.

“Go back to sleep hunny.” Mrs. Simmons said as she walked out and closed Grace’s door.

“I can’t believe that happened to Mrs. Richland.” Grace whispered to herself as she laid down to go back to sleep.

Grace later woke up and went downstairs to see her parents and Sheriff Sanders.

“So let’s get this right, you said you were having a party last night and one of your guests was shot with a bow and arrow?” Sanders asked.
“Yes sir.” Mr. Simmons said.

“What happened with the body?” Grace said from atop the staircase.
“Good question.” Sanders said.
“Where is the body?” Sanders asked.

“Um, we’re not sure, everybody went home after they saw her on the ground and we came back inside, an ambulance came, the body is probably at the hospital” Mrs. Simmons said.
“Hospital records show no one came in last night ma’am.” Sanders said.

“That’s odd.” Mr. Simmons said.
“So you’re saying someone moved the body?” Mrs. Simmons said.
“It seems so; would you care if I took a look around your house and outside?” Sanders asked.

“Go right ahead.” Mr. Simmons said.
Mark came out of the guest bedroom and sat down on the chair next to Grace who was standing behind the couch.

“Can you drive me to Noah’s?” She asked.
“Sure let’s go.” Mark said.

Mark and Grace got in the truck and started down the road.

“I need to stop and get gas stay in the truck.” Mark said as he pulled into the gas station.

“Okay.” Grace said.
Grace remained in the truck as Mark went in the gas station to pay for gas and get himself, Grace, and Noah a pop. He over hears a woman and her friend talking in an isle across from him.

“Did you see what happened last night?” One woman asked.
“With Nancy? Oh yes, I saw that, it’s so sad, she was just about to move to Florida for her retirement too.” The other Woman said.

“I think it was that new fellow, the one who lives with the Simmons, he was there the whole night and wasn’t outside with everyone else.” the woman said.



After Mark heard the woman accuse him of killing Mrs. Richland he left the store quickly and got back in the truck and told Grace she needs to go in and pay for the gas.

“Why?” She asked.
“Don’t worry about it, just go.” He said.

“Okay?” Grace said as she left the truck.


Grace paid for and pumped the gas in Marks truck and the two left in a hurry.


“Slow down!” Grace said.
“We gotta get to Noah’s and I gotta get home quick.” Mark said.

“Why?” Grace asked.
“People think I killed that lady last night and I need to avoid people right now.” Mark said.

“What?! You didn’t kill her you were inside listening to music in your room.” Grace said.

“I know, but a woman in the store said to another woman that she thinks I killed the lady last night.” Mark said.
“That’s Crazy.” Grace said.



Mark dropped Grace off at Noah’s and drove away very fast. Grace knocked on Noah’s door, Charlie answered.


“Hey Grace, Noah’s asleep in his room, go wake him up, he needs to get up.” Charlie said.
“Okay.” Grace said as she walked in the house and into Noah’s room.

“Wake up butthead!” She yelled.
Noah jumped and fell out of bed.

“Haha you’re such a spaz.” Grace chuckled.
“What are you doin here?” Noah asked as he put a shirt on.

“I wanted to get out of my house, Sanders is looking around so I wanted to leave, and I hope its okay I came here.” Grace said.
“It’s fine, great actually, I was just dreaming of you actually.” Noah said with a chuckle.

“What about?” Grace said with a smile as she sat on Noah’s bed.
“That’s for me to know and for you to never find out.” Noah said.

“You jerk.” Grace said as she hit Noah with a pillow.
“So what happened last night?” Noah asked.

“Um, Mrs. Richland got shot with an arrow and died.” Grace said as she hung her head.
“What?!” Noah yelled.

“Yeah, that’s why Sanders is at my house.” Grace said.
“That’s unbelievable.” Noah said.
“People think its Mark who did it...” Grace said.

“What?! No way! Mark was downstairs all night!” Noah yelled.
“I know.” Grace said.

“That’s Crazy.” Noah said.
“Oh here’s your movie by the way.” Grace said as she pulled the DVD out of her purse.

“Thanks, do your parents know I stayed the night?” Noah said.
“Yeah but they wanted you too, with the murderer out and all.” Grace said.

“So they’re not mad?” Noah asked.
“No not at all.” Grace said,

“Good.” Noah said with a sigh of relief.


Noah and Grace watched TV all day and Noah made dinner for them and Charlie.

“Dinners ready!” Noah yelled across the house.
“Sorry bud I’m going to John’s.” Charlie said as he walked toward the door.

“Okay when are you gonna be home?” Noah asked.
“Late, just lock everything up, don’t forget the garage too, you left it unlocked last night.” Charlie said.
“Goodnight you two, be good!” Charlie said as he walked out the door.


“Well okay.” Noah said.

“I guess it’s just us tonight.” Noah said.
“Nothing wrong with that.” Grace said with a smile as she sat down at the table.

“Nope, I got a surprise for you after dinner.” Noah said with a smile.
“Cool, I love surprises.” Grace said with a laugh.

Noah and Grace had their dinner. And Noah grabbed Grace’s hand and led her to the Garage.


“What are we doing in your garage?” Grace asked.
“You’ll see.” Noah said.



Noah pulled a rope and a ladder came down.



“Follow me.” Noah said as he started up the ladder.
“Umm, okay?” Grace said as she quickly followed.

“Over here.” Noah said.

“Just up here, follow me.” Noah said.
“Where are we going?” Grace asked.

“Just up here.” Noah said
“Wow!” Grace said astonishingly.
“Lay down.” Noah said.



Grace laid down on the garage roof beside Noah and laid her head on his chest and they stared up at the stars.


“This is beautiful.” Grace said.
“I come up here when I’m in need to relax at night.” Noah said.

“I can see why.” Grace said.


The two laid on the roof for around an hour until Noah noticed something mysterious. He shot up.



“What’s wrong?” Grace asked.
“Look over there, in the woods, do you see that?” Noah said quietly.

“No? Noah let’s go inside its cold” Grace said.

“There!” Noah said in a loud whisper.

“Did you see that?” He asked.
“No, you’re seeing things let’s go.” Grace said.

“It’s a red light that flashed, I’ve seen it before.” Noah said.
“Let’s go.” Grace said.

“Okay.” Noah said as he started climbing back into the attic of the garage.


Grace looked back in the woods once more to see if she could see this red light Noah was talking about.



“There it is…” Grace whispered to herself.
“Grace? You okay?” Noah asked.

“Yeah I’m fine, I’m coming.” She said.

Grace later on told Noah that she saw the red light.



“I told you.” Noah said.
“I wonder what it was.” Grace said.

“No idea, it’s the second night I’ve seen it.” Noah said.
“I’m calling my parents I’ll be right back.” Grace said.

“Okay.” Noah said.

Grace called her parents and came back to Noah with a sad look on her face.

“What wrong?” Noah asked.
“Sanders arrested Mark and my parents are at the Jail and are gonna be there all night, they told me to ask if I could just stay here tonight.” Grace said.

“That’s fine.” Noah said.

“Thanks.” Grace said.


Noah and Grace sat on the couch and watched TV until they fell asleep that night. The two woke up and Noah couldn’t find Charlie anywhere in the house.

“Did you hear him come home last night?” Grace asked.
“No he would have woken us up.” Noah said.

“That’s so weird, you don’t think…” Grace started saying
“Think what?” Noah asked.

“The person that murdered Mrs. Richland, got Charlie too?” Grace said.
“No Charlie’s fine, he’s probably still at John’s.” Noah said.


Grace and Noah had breakfast and Noah walked Grace home. Noah was on his way back home when a red car pulled up to him, he couldn’t tell who it was because all the windows were tinted. Until the driver rolled down the window.


“Brandon.” Noah said.
“What’s up moron?” Brandon said.

“Just goin home.” Noah said.
“I’ll give you a ride get in.” Brandon said.

“No thanks, I’d rather walk.” Noah said.
“Get in the car Noah.” Brandon said.

“Why?” Noah asked.
“I told you too.” Brandon said as he started getting frustrated.

“I don’t have to do what you say.” Noah said.
“Fine, be that way.” Brandon said as he sped off.

Noah continued to walk home and when he got there Charlie still wasn’t home so he tried calling him, he heard Charlie’s ringtone very faintly. Noah followed the sound into the garage, and there was Charlie looking through a box of stuff.


“When did you get home?” Noah asked.
“Not long ago but I wanted to start cleaning out the garage wanna help?” Charlie asked.

“I have a lot of homework, when I’m done I will.” Noah said.
“Ok bud.” Charlie said.



Noah had a lot of homework over the weekend so he decided he better get started; Noah sat down on the couch and started doing his homework on the coffee table. That wasn’t a good idea because Noah also had football on the TV, watching the Vikings play the Lions, Noah didn’t pay much attention to his homework, more rather to the TV.


When Noah finished his homework he started dinner instead of going to help Charlie. He brought Charlie a plate into the garage but was to tired to help.



Noah decided to just go to bed because he was exhausted, he hasn’t gotten much sleep all weekend with all that’s happened, he was almost asleep until his phone rang.


“Uhhhh…who could that be?” Noah said to himself as he moved to get his phone from his bedside table.



“Grace.” Noah said to himself and answered the phone.
“Hello.” Noah answered.



Noah could tell Grace was crying.
“What’s wrong?’ Noah asked.

“You know my best friend Kelsie right?” Grace asked.
“Yeah.” Noah said.

“She’s missing, her parents can’t find her and I’m really worried, what if she’s dead?” Grace said.
“I’m sure she’s okay.” Noah said,

“I hope so I’m just really scared, she’s been my best friend since I moved here and I’m really worried.” Grace said.
“It’ll be okay Grace, don’t worry.” Noah said.

“Okay, I’m sorry I called so late.” Grace said.
“It’s fine.” Noah said.

“I’m gonna try to get some sleep before school tomorrow, I’m really tired.” Grace said.
“Me too.” Noah said.

“Okay, goodnight, and Noah...” Grace said.
“Yeah?” Noah said.

“Thanks for being there for me.” Grace said.
“Your welcome, it’s the least I can do for someone I love.” Noah said.

“Really?” Grace said as she stopped crying.
“Yeah, I love you Grace.” Noah said.

“I love you too, goodnight.” Grace said in a happy tone.
“Goodnight.” Noah said.


The next day at school Kelsie wasn’t at school, Kelsie hasn’t missed a day of school in six years, something was really wrong. The end of the school day was just about there, Noah was putting stuff in his locker with Grace standing next to him.


“What do you think you’re doing!” a voice yelled down the hall.


It was Brandon; back at school after his suspension.

“What?” Noah said.

“Shut up! What are you doing around my girlfriend?!” Brandon said as he grabbed Grace’s arm.
“OW!” Grace said.

“Let go of her!” Noah yelled and he swung at Brandon as hard he could and hit him right in the side of the head. Brandon fell straight to the floor and a minute later he got up.


“I want nothing to do with you anymore; I’m with Noah so leave me alone! Grace yelled at him.”
“Fine.” Brandon said as he rubbed his head and started walking away.


“I’m getting really tired of him, come on I’ll walk you home.” Noah said as he grabbed Grace’s hand.


They got to Grace’s house and Mr. and Mrs. Simmons were sitting on the couch as if they were waiting for Grace to get home.


“Hey mom and dad, what are you doing?” Grace asked.
“Sit down, both of you.” Mrs. Simmons said.

“Grace, Kelsie hasn’t been found, there have been people searching the entire town all day, no one can find any clue, I’m sorry hunny, it doesn’t look good.” Mr. Simmons said.


Grace started crying and put her head on Noah’s shoulder. Noah’s phone rang, it was Charlie.


“Hey.” Noah asked.
“Hi, where are you?” Charlie asked.

“Grace’s I’ll be home soon. Noah responded.
“Okay, you need to hurry up.” Charlie said as he hung up.

“I gotta go, I’ll call you tonight.” Noah said as he gave Grace a hug.
“Okay, bye.” Grace said.

Friday came and still no word about the whereabouts of Kelsie Brink. Grace was a devastated wreck all week long and as much as Noah tried comforting her Grace wouldn’t was still crying most of the week,


“Hey, it’s ok.” Noah said as he saw Grace at her locker.
“Where is she? She wouldn’t just leave Black Arrow without telling anyone, besides her car is still at her house.” Grace said.

“I’m not sure but everything will be ok.” Noah said as he hugged Grace and kissed the top of her forehead.

The school day ended and the weekend was here. Grace was leaving town with her parents to go to Minneapolis to visit Grace’s grandmother in the nursing home. Grace invited Noah to come with them.


“Can I go?” Noah asked Charlie.
“I don’t care.” Charlie said in an angry tone.

“Okay.” Noah said.

Noah packed a bag and before he knew it Grace and her parents as well as Mark were in the car in Noah’s driveway.


“I’ll see you later.” Noah said to Charlie as Noah made his way to the door.


Noah got in the car and they made their way to Minneapolis.


While they were gone Black Arrow’s citizens were stirring about another disappearance.


“Who was it this time?” A local farmer said to group of people gossiping.
“Bob.” one woman replied.

“Bob? He’s lived here all his life where would he have gone?” The farmer said.
“I think someone is kidnapping people, first the Brink girl now Bob?” another woman said.



Suspicion grew when townsfolk learned about Mark and the Simmons leaving town.

“Am I the only one who finds it odd that the Simmons took that boy out of town?” A woman asked.
“I wouldn’t be surprised, who knows what happened to that girl and Bob.” A large man said.


Nightfall came and a lot of people were restless.
“What’s going on? This has always been such a peaceful town.” The Mayor of the town said to himself looking out the window of his house.


The mayor turned around only to see a large man with a bow in his hand.


“You?!” The Mayor yelled his final word.


The large man shot the Mayor in the throat and left the house. The Mayor was found the next morning by his wife.


Townspeople had finally had enough with the murders and disappearances. Some were fleeing town, some angrily talking about finding this person and killing him.


The Simmons and Noah got back Sunday morning. They didn’t know what happened until the next day at school.


“Where were you?!” A boy yelled at Noah as he walked in the doors of the school.
“Minneapolis?” Noah said confusingly.

“Bob’s missing and the Mayor’s dead and you’re leaving the city?!” The boy yelled.

“The mayor’s dead?” Noah asked.
“Yeah! I think it was that Mark kid.” The boy said as he ran away.


Noah was in a state of shock at the news. He saw Grace waiting for him at his locker with a depressing look on her face.


“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“The sheriff and depute are giving up on finding Kelsie, they say it’s unlikely she’s alive with the death of the mayor and Bob’s disappearance.” Grace said as tears started flowing from her eyes.
“I’m sorry.” Noah said as he grabbed Grace and held her in his arms.


The school day ended and Noah asked Grace to come home with him to have dinner.


“Sure.” Grace said.
“Let’s go, I need to talk to Charlie.” Noah said.


Noah and Grace walked to Noah’s house and walked in to see Charlie asleep on the couch. The two decided to go into Noah’s room.



“Don’t you have to talk to him?” Grace asked as Noah shut his bedroom door.
“He’s asleep; I’ll talk to him later.” Noah said.

“Okay.” Grace said.
“Hey, look, I know you’re upset about Kelsie and I wish I could make you happy and I wish she was back, This has to be really hard on you, but I got you these.” Noah said as he reached into his closet and pulled out a bouquet of pink roses.


“Noah, they’re beautiful, when did you get there?” Grace asked.
“I had Mark pick them up and bring them here during school.” Noah said.

“You’re so sweet.” Grace said as she kissed Noah’s cheek.
“I also got you this.” Noah said as he reached into his bedside table drawer.

“Oh my god.” Grace said as she looked up.
“This was my Mom’s before she died; it’s the only thing that survived in one piece when she died.” Noah said as he unchained a beautiful silver necklace with a gold heart attached to it.

‘I can’t take that.” Grace said.
“Yes you can, please take it.” Noah said as he started putting it around Grace’s neck.

“You’re amazing Noah, you have helped me through so much this past month and I can’t thank you enough for that.” Grace said.
“You don’t have to thank me; I want to do things for the one I love.” Noah said as he kissed Grace.

“I Love you too.” Grace said as she laid her head on Noah’s shoulder.


The two stayed in Noah’s room for hours and just talked. Noah thought he should start working on dinner. He walked out of his room to see Charlie still asleep on the couch.


Noah made dinner for himself and Grace and they ate. Noah decided it would be nice to go out and get some fresh air so he led Grace up on to the top of the Garage and the laid down under the stars.


“I never understood constellations.” Grace said.
“Me neither.” Noah said with a chuckle.



Grace kissed Noah then laid on top of him and laid her head on his chest.

Suddenly Noah noticed something that made him jump up and almost make Grace fall off the roof of the Garage. Noah grabbed her hand and stopped her from rolling off the edge and helped her to her feet.


“What was that!?” Grace yelled.
“Look.” Noah said as he pointed off into the darkness.

“I don’t see anything.” Grace said,
“Just look and wait.” Noah said.


Suddenly, sure enough the mysterious flash of red light appeared in the woods yet again.


“What is that?!” Noah yelled,
“Look.” Grace said as she pointed to the road leading to the mountain.



Someone was walking down the road and towards the mountain.


“Who is that?” Noah said,
“The murderer?” Grace said nervously.

Noah started running down the ladder and into the garage.
“Noah!” Grace yelled at him.

“It’s jammed, it won’t open.” Noah said.
“What are you talking about?” Grace said as she climbed into the garage.

“The door! It won’t open!” Noah yelled.
“What?” Grace said,

“Call Charlie and tell him to come unlock the door.” Noah said.
“I can’t my phone is on your bed in your room” Grace said.

“My phone is on my bed, great we’re trapped in here.” Noah said.


Noah and Grace remained locked in the garage all night until around nine o clock in the morning when Charlie unlocked the door in shock to see the two in there.


“Finally!” Noah yelled.
“What were you two doing in here all night?” Charlie asked,

“We were locked in here.” Grace said.
“Sorry about that I thought you were in your room when I locked up before I went to bed.” Charlie said.

“We’re gonna go inside and eat breakfast before I take her home.” Noah said.
“Okay.” Charlie said as he walked into the garage after Noah and Grace left.


“Who do you think that was last night?” Grace asked.
“No idea.” Noah said,



Whoever the mysterious person was he went into the mountains for some reason, the question is…why?


Noah walked Grace home and made his way home. When he got home a mod of people was making their way towards the ol’ Brown house.


“What’s going on?” Noah asked Charlie.
“We’re going to go talk to the guy who moved in there and find out if he knows anything.” Charlie said as he made his way behind the others towards the ol’ Brown house.

The next day the whole town was just about the same as the past few days, anxious. The mob questioned the new guy in town and he told them he was an author and moved here to get away from the city because he hated being around so many people.


“What is happening to all the people gone missing?” Grace asked.
“I don’t know but I hope everyone is okay…” Noah said.



Monday came and Noah and Grace were at Noah’s locker Monday morning.


“What are your plans for thanksgiving?” Noah asked.

“My family doesn’t do anything for thanksgiving.” Grace said.

“Would you and your family like to come over and eat with me?” Noah said with a happy look on his face.
“Sure I’ll ask them tonight, but Noah, do you think this person that’s killing people has anything to do with the disappearances? I mean why is he killing people and taking people? It makes no sense.” Grace said.

“It doesn’t make sense; but I don’t know how a criminal mind works so I have no idea why he’d do that but I don’t know if anyone will be able to stop him.” Noah said.

Grace and Noah left school that afternoon and noticed something strange.


“What is that?” Grace said pointing across the street from the school to a stick with a piece of paper attached to it.


Noah walked over to the stick with Grace following him close behind.


“What is it?” Grace asked.
“It’s a note.” Noah said slowly.

“What does it say?” Grace asked.
“You’re next…” Noah read slowly then looked at Grace.

“Who’s next?” Grace said.
“I don’t know but look at thi.s” Noah said as he pulled the stick out from the ground.


The stick was an arrow with an obsidian arrow head.


“Oh my god what is that?” Grace said astonishingly.
“It’s a home made arrow, the head is obsidian.” Noah said.

“What’s that?” Grace said puzzled.
“It’s a mineral that Indians used on their weapons” Noah said.



Noah rapped the arrow in his sweatshirt and he and Grace brought it to Sheriff Sander’s house.


“Good afternoon sheriff, I stopped by because I found this outside the school across the street” Noah said as he pulled out the arrow and note that was attached to it.

“You found this where?” Sanders asked.
“In front of the school, across the street.” Noah said.

“Do you know who the note is referring to?” Sanders asked.
“No.” Noah said.

“Okay well thank you Noah.” Sanders said.
“No problem.” Noah said as he walked away.

“Wait! Noah!” Sanders yelled.
“Yeah?” Noah said.

“Can you ask Charlie to come in? He wanted me to tell him if there was ever a job open at the station and with all the chaos going on we could use some help.” Sanders said.

“Um yeah when I see him I’ll have him stop by.” Noah said then continued his walk home.


Noah got home and saw smoke coming from his house. He ran home and to where the smoke was.


“Hey Noah, want a burger?” Charlie asked.


Charlie was Barbequing.
“Um sure” Noah said as he panted.

“How many?” Charlie asked.
“Just one” Noah said.

“I can’t eat more then one of anything he cooks” Noah thought to himself.


“Sanders said he can give you a job, he wants you to stop by the station tomorrow.” Noah said as he took his plate with the burger.
“Awesome I need a job so badly.” Charlie said.


The town was stirring when Sheriff Sanders told the town about the arrow and the note. Many people were blaming others and gossiping about who it could be. In the midst of all the chaos of people talking everyone was silent when a gunshot was fired and everyone turned to see birds flying from the woods towards town.

The fired shot scared everyone and they went into a panic. People were hiding in buildings and cars. Noah was sitting in class and the school went under lockdown.


“Okay class, you know the drill.” Mr. Smith said.


The class started getting low to the ground in the farthest corner from the door.


“Ow! That’s my foot!” one girl said as Noah was moving towards the corner.
“Smooth, genius.” Brandon said sarcastically.

“Shut your mouth Brandon.” Noah said.
“Someone’s crabby.” Brandon said arrogantly.

“Brandon for once in your life would you just shut your mouth? Since when did you become the school jerk?” Noah said.
“Whatever.” Brandon said in an annoyed tone as he rolled his eyes and moved away from Noah.
“At least I’m not dating a loser.” Brandon said under his voice hoping Noah wouldn’t hear.

Noah got up and punched Brandon in the back of the head as hard as he could.


“There’s a lot more where that came from.” Noah said angrily.


Brandon rolled his eyes and held his hand to where he was hit.


Sheriff Sanders came to the school to release the lockdown.


“We don’t see any danger in town, everyone please go home and stay inside.” Sanders said.


Noah arrived home to find Charlie on the couch asleep.


“That’s not a surprise.” He said to himself.


Noah started his chores and he accidentally woke Charlie.


“Could you be a little quieter there?” Charlie said.
“Sorry.” Noah said.

“Hey, I’m gonna go into town and get some stuff for dinner, I’m having a date over tonight, gotta be a good dinner right?” Charlie said with a smirk.
“A date? Who?” Noah asked.

“Her name is Beth, she lived here when you were born, she’s an old childhood friend of mine, she came back to live with her mom, her mom is scared to live here alone with all that’s going on.” Charlie explained.
“I think everyone is.” Noah said.

“Oh, did I tell you? Sanders made me his deputy! I have a job!” Charlie said excitingly.
“Cool.” Noah said.


Noah continued on his chores and started working on his homework; Charlie came back with food for dinner then went in the garage. Without even noticing, Noah went out into the kitchen to get a snack when he looked out the living room window towards the old Brown house.


“I still think it’s strange I’ve not seen the person who moved in there.” Noah said to himself. It was dusk so there was very little sunlight still visible. A light turned on in the Brown house and Noah immediately turned his attention to the window where light emerged. In the window stood a man with long black hair and wearing a large black coat. He stood at the window for about thirty seconds. He seemed to be staring straight at Noah, Noah felt uncomfortable with the man so he walked away, into his room to finish his homework.
Noah sat on his bed and suddenly Charlie jumped out of the closet with a fake knife.


“Die!” Charlie yelled.
“Oh my god!” Noah screamed.

“Got ya” Charlie said as he started laughing hard.
“You jerk.” Noah said as he threw a large textbook at Charlie, Hitting him in the ribs, knocking the wind out of him.

“That was un called for.” Charlie said as he gasped for air.
“Gotta love Karma.” Noah said.

“Well I’m gonna start grilling those steaks.” Charlie said as he rubbed his chest,
“Okay, I’ll be in here if you need me.” Noah said.


Charlie left the room and went outside with the steaks to begin grilling. Noah’s phone rang, Grace was calling.


“Hey.” Noah answered.
“Hello.” Grace responded.

“What’s up?” Noah asked.
“Not much, I’m done with my homework and was bored so I called, I hope that’s okay.” Grace said.

“Yeah it’s fine; I’m just finishing the last few problems of homework.” Noah said.
“Cool, what are you doing tomorrow after school?” Grace asked.

“Nothing why?” Noah asked.
“Do you want to come over?” Grace asked.

“Sure.” Noah answered.

Noah and Grace continued their conversation for around twenty minutes when suddenly, out of no where, the power goes out in Noah’s house.


“Well, that’s not good.” Noah said.
“What?” Grace asked.

“Our power just went out.” Noah answered.
“I’m sorry.” Grace said.

“Its fine, I’m gonna go help Charlie, he’s probably trying to fix the power right now.” Noah said.
“Okay, bye.” Grace said.

“Bye.” Noah said.

They hung up and Noah went into the garage with a flashlight, he couldn’t find Charlie, he looked around outside and still couldn’t find him Noah found Charlie on the roof of the house where the power connected to the house.
“What happened?” Noah asked.
“Bird wanted to fly into this generator thing.” Charlie said.
“Birds are stupid, can you fix it?” Noah asked.
“Yeah.” Charlie said.

Noah looked towards the forest, again, he sees, the red light flashing three times.

“Charlie.” Noah said.
“Got it!” Charlie said as the power was restored.
“What did you need?” Charlie asked.

“Nothing go make dinner it’s almost eight your date should be here soon.” Noah said.
“Oh Yeah!” Charlie yelled as he hurried down the ladder.

Noah was starting to wonder what the red light was and had enough of the anxiousness. Noah darted towards the forest and was halfway there when out of no where Sam ran after him and followed him. Noah realized it wouldn’t be safe. Then out of no where a man in baggy black clothes and a black mask tackled Noah and Sam ran home.

“Don’t hurt me!” Noah yelled.
The mysterious man stretched his hand out for Noah to help him up.

I’m not stupid” Noah said as he stayed on the ground.
The man forcefully thrust his outstretched hand in Noah’s direction. Noah decided to grab the man’s hand in case the man might hurt him if he didn’t.
The man helped Noah to his feet and without saying anything angrily pointed towards Noah’s house.


Noah started slowly walking home looking back at the dark figure then sprinted as fast as he could to get away from him before harm could come to him. Noah got inside and yelled for Charlie. Five minutes later Noah heard noises in his house and he tried as hard as he could to remain as silent as he could.


The noise was someone in the house. Doors opening and closing as if the person inside was looking for someone. Noah, in a state of shock, remains as quiet as possible until the closet door opens revealing Noah to the person in the house.


Noah lets out a horrific scream, the man is shocked and falls back into the wall and a shelf collapses due to the man’s impact and a large urn falls onto the man’s head.


Noah continued to sit in the closet until he realized the person was unconscious and bloody from the Urn’s impact.


“Charlie?” Noah says quietly.
Noah gets up and goes to the man.
“Charlie!” Noah yells as he shook Charlie to try and make him regain consciousness, to no avail. Charlie was knocked out and was bleeding bad. Noah ran into the bathroom and grabbed a towel and began wrapping up Charlie’s head to reduce the flow of blood coming out. Noah called 911 and had an ambulance take Charlie to the Hospital.
Noah rode in the back of the ambulance with the nurse working on Charlie’s cut, wrapping it in a bandage, listening to the story as to how it happened.


Charlie regained a slight amount of consciousness and started asking questions as to where he was and what happened.


“You fell and mom and dad’s urn fell on your head” Noah said.
“Why were you hiding in the hall closet?” Charlie asked.


“I’ll tell you later...” Noah said.


Charlie fell asleep and arrived at the hospital and was in a stable condition. He suffered a concussion and had a large bump on his head that needed twenty-two stitches to close.
Noah got a ride home from Mr. Simmons who drove out to get him and bring him home. Noah saw Brandon hanging out outside Bob’s and Noah had Mr. Simmons pull over so Noah could talk to Brandon really quick. Mr. Simmons pulled over and Noah got out of the car.


“Brandon!” Noah yelled.
“What do you want?!” Brandon yelled as he turned around.

“We need to talk.” Noah said.
“About what?” Brandon said.

“Just come here man.” Noah said.
“Fine.” Brandon said.


Noah and Brandon talked for about twenty minutes and the two made up and decided that they were going to try and be friends again. They fist bumped and Noah got back in Mr. Simmons car. When they got Noah’s they saw a black cloud over the garage. The black cloud was smoke! Someone had burned down the garage.

“What happened?!” Noah yelled as he ran towards a fireman.
“Someone burned your garage down, I’m sorry son but your dog was inside at the time, she’s gone, I’m so sorry.” The fireman said as he took his helmet off and placed it on his chest with his right hand and placed his left hand on Noah’s shoulder as Noah started to cry.


“Who did this?” Noah said quietly.

“We don’t know yet, but we think they were after something, does Charlie or you keep anything of value or importance in there?” The fireman asked.


“Charlie kept all of our parent’s belongings in there and his hunting gear, I only keep my childhood stuff.” Noah said.
“What hunting gear does Charlie own?” The fireman asked.

“Just a twelve gage, a bow, and a few hand guns.” Noah said.


“Okay, and what belonging of your parents were in there?” The fireman asked.


“All of their favorite things, what they did for fun and old pictures.” Noah said as he looked away, towards the sky behind him.


“Okay well we can’t let you inside your house for now, do you have anyone you can stay with?” the fireman asked.
“He’ll be with me.” Mr. Simmons said.


“Noah turned and looked at Mr. Simmons with a puzzled look on his face.
“His brother is in the hospital, what do we tell him when we call?” Mr. Simmons asked.


“Just what happened, and have him come to the police station to talk about the lost items and his job will you please?” The fireman said.


“Will do.” Mr. Simmons said as he took Noah to the car and made their way to the Simmons home.


Grace was in the living room when they arrived and she asked why Noah was there.


“Someone burned his garage down and authorities won’t allow him there for awhile.” Mr. Simmons said as he put his coat on the rack.


“He’ll be staying here, in the guest room upstairs.” He said.


“Oh, I’m sorry Noah.” Grace said sympathetically.


Noah ignored her and went out into the backyard and called the hospital to talk to Charlie if he was awake. Grace stood at the back door, watching him. Noah hung up and turned to see Grace standing there.


“Charlie is in the hospital, he’s asleep, He doesn’t know about the fire yet, and I’ll call again tonight.” Noah said.

“I’m sorry, why is he in the hospital?” Grace asked.


“Hit his head.” Noah said.

“I’m sorry about what happened.” Grace said.


“Thanks, all of things that reminded me of my parents are gone, so is Sam, she was in there when whoever burned it down, they took Sam down with all my memories.” Noah said.


“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Grace said as she gave Noah a hug.

“I’m going to bed.” Noah said.


“I’ll walk you up there.” Grace said.
Grace and Noah made their way to the guest room where they sat on the bed and talked for around a half hour and Grace left so Noah could sleep.

Noah woke the next morning rather early and he left the Simmons’ house to go for a walk. It was still dark out but he was too depressed to care about anything.


Noah made his way to Brandon’s where he sat on the front porch swing waiting for Brandon to go outside to get the newspaper as he always does. Brandon came out outside and saw Noah on the porch swing.


“What are you doing here?” Brandon said.
“I went for a walk and decided to come talk to you.” Noah said.

“About what?” Brandon asked.
“What’s been happening around town these last few months, the killings, kidnappings, the fires?” Noah said.

“What about them?” Brandon asked.
“What do you know about it?” Noah asked.

“What are you a cop?” Brandon asked sarcastically.
“Funny, no, just wondering if you’ve heard anything about it.” Noah said.

“No, I haven’t been listening to peoples gossip lately.” Brandon said.
“I’m going to find out who’s doing this…” Noah said.

“Are you stupid?” Brandon asked with a laugh,
“They burned down my garage and killed my dog. This is over.” Noah said


Before Brandon could respond Noah’s phone rang.
“Hello?” Noah said as he answered.

“Hello Noah, This is sheriff Sanders, I’m sorry to tell you but we saw a man in all black baggy clothes go into the hospital just outside town and put a body in a truck and drove off. We think it was Charlie.” Sanders said.


Noah hung up the phone.
“Get dressed and hurry up, we’re leaving.” Noah said.

“Are you crazy?!” Brandon said.
“They have Charlie, I’m not letting this guy take anymore from me, are you gonna help me or not?” Noah asked

“Yeah, give me ten minutes.” Brandon said as he headed back into his house.


Noah and Brandon headed to Noah’s house and walked in to see Grace on Noah’s couch.
“How did you get in here?” Noah asked.

“Door was unlocked.” Grace said.
“The killer’s got Charlie, me and Brandon, are gonna go find him.” Noah said.

“Are you crazy?! Let Sanders handle it!” Grace said.

“No, we’re leaving, you’re welcome to stay here or go home but please don’t follow us.” Noah said.
“Okay…” Grace said.


Noah and Brandon gathered a few things and headed out towards the woods when suddenly, Brandon fell threw what was an apparent pitfall trap.

“Brandon!” Noah yelled.
“Noah! I’m in some sort of cage! I can’t see anything! Noah! Someone’s coming!” Brandon yelled. Then there was nothing but silence.


“Brandon!” Noah yelled into the hole.
But no response.

After Brandon’s descent into to the pitfall, to the bottom of the hole, Noah was in a panic. He didn’t know what to do. Noah thought he could get down and help Brandon but he would need a rope.



Noah rushed home as fast as he could but he had no luck finding a rope in his house. There would have been rope in the garage, all supplies they could ever need were in the garage, but sadly none of it is useful as ash. Noah was running out of options.


Noah ran to the old Brown house to see if the new person could help him get Brandon out of the hole. Noah got to the front door and knocked, no answer, but the door creaked open a bit so Noah pushed the door open.


“Hello!” Noah yelled. But no one responded. “I need help! My friend is stuck in the woods!” Noah yelled again. Still no answer. Noah walked through the house looking for someone but he couldn’t see anybody. Noah notices a pile of clothes in the corner of the living room next to the couch. He picks up one of the shirts which he recognizes. It was Charlie’s Twins jersey. The clothes on the floor were what Charlie was wearing when he went to the hospital.


“Why are Charlie’s clothes on the floor in this house?” Noah asked himself. Noah hears a crash from behind him and he quickly turns around but nothing is there.


“Who’s there?” Noah said. “I need your help my friend is in trouble.” Noah said. Noah notices a closet door with many locks on it; he walks towards it and sees a hammer by the front door. Noah grabs the hammer and starts hitting the locks repeatedly until they were all broken. Noah opens the door. “Hello!” Noah yelled into the dark room which had a long staircase down to a basement that glowed with an illuminating red glow. Suddenly the door behind him slams shut.

“Hey! I need help! Let me out of here!” Noah yelled as he pounded on the door.
“Go down stairs, you’ll find what you’re looking for.” Said a man with a very low voice.


Noah started walking very slowly down the steps shaking with nerves. When he reached the bottom of the staircase he looks around and sees many steel cages surrounding parts of the wall to make it look like a prison. There were red lights on the ceiling that gave the place a dreary red glow. Chains were hanging from the walls and the echoing sound of drops of water coming from the ceiling.


“What is this place?” Noah whispered to himself. Then he turns a corner to see a tall skinny man standing over a work bench. The man lifts what looks like to be a katana sword. Noah starts walking slowly backwards but there’s no where he can go. Noah steps on a chain that was hanging on the wall, the chain falls from the wall hitting the ground. The Man wearing a mask quickly turns and sees Noah. The man charges with the sword. Noah runs and falls and crawls his way to a corner. The man stands over him with the sword at his side.


“Please don’t hurt me!” Noah pleaded.
“Shut up!” The man says as he raises the sword above his head, ready to swing it down at Noah. Noah puts his arm’s up in retaliation.



“No! Don’t hurt the boy!” a man screams as he runs down the stairs and tackles the man hovering over Noah. Noah lowers his arms to see what happened.


“Run that way!” The man yelled as he pointed down the corridor.


Without hesitation Noah got up and ran in the direction he was told to. Running as fast as he possibly could, he trips and falls over what was a large quiver used to hold arrows.


When Noah gets up he see’s the man that saved him standing over him.


“Who are you?” Noah asked.
The man proceeds to take off his mask, revealing his identity to Noah.


“Charlie?!” Noah yelled!
“Be quiet, he’s not dead, just unconscious, we need to get the people down here out quick.” Charlie said as he pointed further down the corridor.

“What are you doing?! You locked me down here! You tackled me the other night!” Noah yelled.
“Noah! Shut up and get down there and help Brandon and everyone else!” Charlie yelled.


Noah got up from his feet, still in shock he ran further down the corridor.

Noah, running as fast as he could reaches a cluster of cells along the wall that have people in them. Noah approaches the first cell. It has a teenage girl that looked familiar in it.


“Kelsie?” Noah asked.
“Who are you? Please help me” Kelsie said.
“Noah finds an arrow on the floor and he uses the arrow to pick the lock on the cell. Kelsie runs out of the cell and hugs Noah,


“Thank you!” Kelsie said loudly.
“Help me get the others out.” Noah said.


Noah and Kelsie freed a total of fourteen prisoners.
“How do we get out of here?” Noah asked.

“Down there, or there is a ladder that way.” Kelsie said as she points towards the area Noah came from then further down the corridor.


The sixteen of them started running towards the ladder when someone yells. Noah and Kelsie stay back while the others climb the ladder and escape.

“Hey! Wait! Get me out!” someone in a cell yells.

Noah walks towards the cell. “Brandon?” Noah asks.
“Dude get me out!” Brandon yells.



Noah picks Brandon’s lock. Noah, Kelsie, and Brandon start running towards the ladder when suddenly a loud crash in front of them causes the walls to collapse in front of them.


“How do we get out now!?” Kelsie yells.
“Only other way out, they start walking towards the staircase where the man was still unconscious. The three get to where the man lay unconscious and Charlie standing over him.



“Charlie! Let’s go!” Noah yelled.
“Wait.” Charlie said.

“For what?!” Noah yelled!
“Give me that arrow Brandon.” Charlie said as he reached out and walked towards Brandon. Suddenly a gunshot is fired. Charlie falls to the ground. The man had shot Charlie in the back of the head with a gun.


The man gets up and points the gun towards the kids and fires. Empty, he throws the gun to the floor.

“Do you know who I am?” The man said. He takes off his mask and reveals who he is.
“Brown?” Noah says astonishingly.

“Yes.” Brown said.
“Why did you kidnap us?!” Brandon yelled.

“Don’t you want to know why he knew everything?” Brown said as he pointed at Charlie.
“He was helping me, I didn’t kidnap anybody, or kill anybody, He did.
“You’re lying!” Noah yelled.
“No, Charlie did everything, the killings, the kidnapping, the burning down of your garage, all him.” Brown said.

“I don’t believe you!” Noah yelled.
“Okay, well I’m right, Charlie was out of work and needed money to pay the bills and keep your house and land. He came over asking the “new neighbor” for work I offered him one million dollars to do what I asked. Charlie expected to find that author man who bought my house when people that I was dead, but I offered him the money or I shoot him down right then and there.” Brown said.

“Why did you do this to these people?” Kelsie asked.
“Simple, I was camping in the forest near the foothills of the mountain with my daughter when someone thought we were animals and shot at us. We ran but my Danielle was shot and killed. I escaped and planned to get vengeance for my daughter Danielle’s death. However, I am much too old to do anything I once was able to do. I am only useful for making things. My father was a blacksmith and taught me how to make swords and arrow heads. I planned on making the man who bought my house my worker but he refused so I had to get rid of him.” Brown explained.


“These people didn’t deserve to die!” Brandon yelled.

“Neither did Danielle!” Brown yelled.
“It was an accident.” Noah said.
“Accident or not, I wanted vengeance, and everything was going smoothly until you had to get nosey!” Brown yelled pointing at Noah.
He charged at Kelsie with the sword in hand. Kelsie screams loudly and Noah pushes her out of the way, Brown misses, He turns to get Noah. Brown raises his arm, holding the sword above him when suddenly Browns’ eyes get big and he falls to his knees and drops the sword. The next thing Noah sees is Brown; face down on the ground with an arrow in his back.

Brandon had stabbed Brown with the arrow Noah used to free the prisoners.
“Let’s go.” Brandon said as he made his way up the stairs.
“Wait.” Noah ran over to Charlie.
Charlie was gone, Noah couldn’t have done anything.

Noah tapped Charlie on the heart with his finger tips signifying the love he had for his brother and made his way up the stairs following behind Kelsie and Brandon after he said his goodbyes.

Noah, Kelsie, and Brandon got to Noah’s house and Grace jumped up from the couch and ran towards Kelsie and hugged her then Noah. Noah was crying.


“What’s wrong? What happened?” Grace asked.
“Charlie’s dead.” Noah said.

“I’m so sorry…” Grace said.
“It was him; Charlie did everything, the killings, the kidnapping, and the fires.” Noah said chocking up.

“What?! Charlie?! No! It couldn’t have been!” Grace yelled.
“It was.” Brandon said.
“He was working for Brown to pay the bills and avoid losing the land.



Noah, Brandon, and Kelsie explained everything to Grace who was in shock at all the news.


Noah left the living room while the others continued talking. Noah went into his room and opened his nightstand drawer to pull out a picture of his parents. Then grabbed the picture of him and Charlie off the top of the nightstand and spoke to the picture of his parents.


“Don’t blame him; he was only doing what he needed to too keep the house. He was protecting me. And he gave his life protecting me. Take care of him.” Noah said to the picture of his parents.


He cut Charlie out of the picture and glued him onto the empty space of the picture of his parents and placed it back in his drawer.


A week went by and Noah got a phone call.


“Hello.” Noah answered.
“Hello Mr. Finch, this is Mr. Johnson from the bank, we’re calling to inform you that your property has been paid off completely.” The man said.

“What? How?” Noah asked.
“A man came by and asked to have the property entirely paid for.” The man said.

“Can I get his name?” Noah asked.
“He requested it be kept anonymous.” The man said. “Although he did tell me to tell you something.” The man said.

“What?” Noah asked.
“Keep looking up, Grace will always be around at the toughest times.” The man said. “Does that mean anything to you?” He said.

“Yes, thank you.” Noah said as he hung up. There was a knock at the door. “Mr. Simmons?” Noah said surprisingly.

“Hello, Noah, Grace told me what happened. I’m sorry for your loss.” He said.



Brandon came up behind him along with Grace and Kelsie.

“What’s everyone doing here?” Noah asked.
“Well, I told the guy at the bank to keep it anonymous from you, but I paid of your house, well my family did, as a thank you for saving my life, and my new girlfriend’s.” Brandon said.


“New girlfriend?” Noah asked.
Brandon grabbed kelsie’s hand signifying they were a couple.

“Congratulations, and thank you.” Noah said.
“Don’t mention it, oh and another thing, since it is you’re birthday and you are now officially eighteen. The house is yours completely, no strings attached, you don’t need a guardian.


“Happy birthday!” They all yelled. As Grace pulled out a small cake from behind her back.


The five of them celebrated Noah’s birthday. Later on Grace led Noah outside and around to the side of his house where a ladder was leaned up against the house. The two climbed the ladder and go on the roof of the house. Grace led Noah over to a wood plank that was nailed to the roof.


“In loving Memory, Charlie J. Finch.” Grace read.
“Thank you Grace.” Noah said.

I’m going back inside its freezing.” Grace said. Grace kissed Noah on the cheek and went down the ladder. Noah stared at the memorial.


“Take care of Mom and Dad.” Noah said. Noah looked up at the sky and saw his parents and Charlie. His mom blew him a kiss. Charlie’s ghost told Noah to keep them in his thoughts and Noah smiled and climbed down the ladder and went inside with the others. Noah didn’t tell anyone about what he saw but he wanted it that way.

Noah and Grace ended up going to the University of Minnesota together and they got married and had a son named Charlie. Grace becomes an author and Noah becomes an architect. Noah renovates the house to add more room for the other family to move in and live with them. Brandon and Kelsie and their daughter Leslie.

Mr. and Mrs. Simmons retired and moved to Florida. Brandon’s parents passed away while he was in college. Brandon inherited five million dollars which paid for all of the renovations and everyone’s college tuition.

Noah still keeps the photo of his parents and Charlie in his nightstand and every year spends the day of Charlie’s death on the roof remembering his brother, staring at the memorial Grace made him and the sky remembering his family.

No one in town ever found out Charlie was behind everything, but they were told Brown was the killer.



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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 22 comments.


Masey400 GOLD said...
on Aug. 12 2012 at 12:03 pm
Masey400 GOLD, Ribera, New Mexico
16 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Being well-dressed is not a matter of having expensive clothes or the 'right clothes. I don't care if you're wearing rags, but they must suit you."












Louise Nelson

Great plot concept. It sounds very interesting. I think you should have made the detailed descriptions more gradual-said the whole thing about the 17 year old kid having dreamed of leaving his whole live when he gets in a fight with his parents or something.

on Apr. 23 2012 at 6:58 pm
Ashley_Tucker, Granger, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real? ~ Albus Dumbledore

The entire first chapter was information overload. We don't need to know everyones life story before the actual story begins. Take your first paragraph for instance. Let us know this is all taking place in Black Arrow within the first page or two along with how much he hates the town. Towards the end of the first chapter let us find out that his parents died. That's heart renching stuff! But if I only know the boys name and where he is, how am I supposed to feel bad for him when you bring up that he's an orphan in the third sentence of the book? He's barely a person to me yet. Read Plot and Sctructure by James Scott Bell.

on Dec. 11 2011 at 12:07 pm
DarkMountain BRONZE, Portland, Oregon
4 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
My eyes feel so heavy when the stars are calling me
- Join with us eternally -
I'm falling in deep trance and my powers are weakening
I'm falling in a world between dreams and reality
... I'm sailing away to undiscovered seas...
Oh time...

Good story! But way too much "telling", in my opinion. Every emotion, action, or aspect of the story was relayed through an "and then this happened" format, which is great for a certain audience. However, I'd work on more of a "showing" approach- it can tear down the barrier between story and reader, and gives it a more real feel. Still, I liked the story a lot. Good work.

Ewburt said...
on Nov. 12 2011 at 10:27 am
how did this get to #2 LOL

kitkat said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 4:55 pm
I liked it. 3/10

on Oct. 6 2011 at 9:34 pm
KangarooHulabaloo BRONZE, Wyckoff, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't

Cool story, I would just say that if you revise it, it will definitely be smoother

Azrael BRONZE said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 11:03 pm
Azrael BRONZE, Santa Ana, California
2 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To lie to him was to ruin him..." Schuyler Van Alen on Jack Force from the Blue Bloods Series by Melissa De La Cruz.

it was gud and needed to sloe down a bit but i luved it :)

on Aug. 23 2011 at 1:14 pm
Free_One PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 773 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am not invincible or unstoppable, but I stay strong because it is the only way to survive in this world."

nightstalker part three, four, and five is now out! Go check it out if you liked the first and second! :)(:

Marlo said...
on Aug. 13 2011 at 11:01 am
Could have beenn better, man. It had its moments but overall felt lacking. Still liked it though.

on May. 22 2011 at 12:57 am
Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
what do you mean woah?

on May. 19 2011 at 8:51 pm
thelibrarian BRONZE, Longville, Louisiana
1 article 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
men are like steel, if they lose thir temper, they lose thier worth











-chuck norris

......woah.

fc barca 10 said...
on May. 1 2011 at 12:22 pm
what can I say about this story, AWESOME! keep writing! I can't wait to read your next work!

mac123 said...
on Apr. 30 2011 at 8:35 am
Best book I've read on here! awesome story! please keep writing!!!

on Apr. 24 2011 at 12:43 pm
this book was great, fascinating story and definetly a ending I didn't expect. Well done!

on Mar. 23 2011 at 9:12 pm
Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
thank you! I'll get to it when I can i've got lots going on now but I will get to it! :D

PJD17 SILVER said...
on Mar. 23 2011 at 5:48 pm
PJD17 SILVER, Belleville, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 624 comments

Favorite Quote:
I do the best imatation of myself- Ben Folds

Great story! i love this kind of work  mystery genre is my favorite   Could you please take a look at and comment on my story Manso's Shame

on Feb. 22 2011 at 10:03 pm
Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
It is a bit short but it is a children's book, can't have it to long. I also plan to extend it a bit to add to the story. Thanks!

on Feb. 22 2011 at 8:05 pm
Timekeeper DIAMOND, Cary, North Carolina
62 articles 0 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk'?, and I say 'No that's trendy'!"- Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day

This is neat, it was cool to be able to read the entire thing all the way through, but it was a little short! I look forward to your next work!

on Feb. 17 2011 at 1:42 pm
Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
Thank you for the support!

Blondi said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 11:28 am
Good job, Alec!  You have a talent for building suspense, once I started, I couldn't stop reading.  I just had to know what came next.


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