The Black Arrow Murders

February 2, 2011
By Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
1 article 0 photos 8 comments

Summary:

Noah is a 17 year old boy living with his brother in Black Arrow Minnesota. A small farm town that suddenly goes into panic when a string of murders ad kidnappings begin.
When the crimes start affecting Noah's friends and family he starts trying to figure out who's behind these malicious crimes, but what he finds out will his life forever.
This small town is in trouble, can a 17 year old boy stop the criminal? or will he become just another victim of the maniac? A murder mystery that will keep you guessing until the very end.


Alec S.

The Black Arrow Murders


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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 22 comments.


Masey400 GOLD said...
on Aug. 12 2012 at 12:03 pm
Masey400 GOLD, Ribera, New Mexico
16 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Being well-dressed is not a matter of having expensive clothes or the 'right clothes. I don't care if you're wearing rags, but they must suit you."












Louise Nelson

Great plot concept. It sounds very interesting. I think you should have made the detailed descriptions more gradual-said the whole thing about the 17 year old kid having dreamed of leaving his whole live when he gets in a fight with his parents or something.

on Apr. 23 2012 at 6:58 pm
Ashley_Tucker, Granger, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real? ~ Albus Dumbledore

The entire first chapter was information overload. We don't need to know everyones life story before the actual story begins. Take your first paragraph for instance. Let us know this is all taking place in Black Arrow within the first page or two along with how much he hates the town. Towards the end of the first chapter let us find out that his parents died. That's heart renching stuff! But if I only know the boys name and where he is, how am I supposed to feel bad for him when you bring up that he's an orphan in the third sentence of the book? He's barely a person to me yet. Read Plot and Sctructure by James Scott Bell.

on Dec. 11 2011 at 12:07 pm
DarkMountain BRONZE, Portland, Oregon
4 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
My eyes feel so heavy when the stars are calling me
- Join with us eternally -
I'm falling in deep trance and my powers are weakening
I'm falling in a world between dreams and reality
... I'm sailing away to undiscovered seas...
Oh time...

Good story! But way too much "telling", in my opinion. Every emotion, action, or aspect of the story was relayed through an "and then this happened" format, which is great for a certain audience. However, I'd work on more of a "showing" approach- it can tear down the barrier between story and reader, and gives it a more real feel. Still, I liked the story a lot. Good work.

Ewburt said...
on Nov. 12 2011 at 10:27 am
how did this get to #2 LOL

kitkat said...
on Oct. 30 2011 at 4:55 pm
I liked it. 3/10

on Oct. 6 2011 at 9:34 pm
KangarooHulabaloo BRONZE, Wyckoff, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't

Cool story, I would just say that if you revise it, it will definitely be smoother

Azrael BRONZE said...
on Sep. 14 2011 at 11:03 pm
Azrael BRONZE, Santa Ana, California
2 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To lie to him was to ruin him..." Schuyler Van Alen on Jack Force from the Blue Bloods Series by Melissa De La Cruz.

it was gud and needed to sloe down a bit but i luved it :)

on Aug. 23 2011 at 1:14 pm
Free_One PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 773 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am not invincible or unstoppable, but I stay strong because it is the only way to survive in this world."

nightstalker part three, four, and five is now out! Go check it out if you liked the first and second! :)(:

Marlo said...
on Aug. 13 2011 at 11:01 am
Could have beenn better, man. It had its moments but overall felt lacking. Still liked it though.

on May. 22 2011 at 12:57 am
Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
what do you mean woah?

on May. 19 2011 at 8:51 pm
thelibrarian BRONZE, Longville, Louisiana
1 article 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
men are like steel, if they lose thir temper, they lose thier worth











-chuck norris

......woah.

fc barca 10 said...
on May. 1 2011 at 12:22 pm
what can I say about this story, AWESOME! keep writing! I can't wait to read your next work!

mac123 said...
on Apr. 30 2011 at 8:35 am
Best book I've read on here! awesome story! please keep writing!!!

on Apr. 24 2011 at 12:43 pm
this book was great, fascinating story and definetly a ending I didn't expect. Well done!

on Mar. 23 2011 at 9:12 pm
Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
thank you! I'll get to it when I can i've got lots going on now but I will get to it! :D

PJD17 SILVER said...
on Mar. 23 2011 at 5:48 pm
PJD17 SILVER, Belleville, Illinois
8 articles 0 photos 624 comments

Favorite Quote:
I do the best imatation of myself- Ben Folds

Great story! i love this kind of work  mystery genre is my favorite   Could you please take a look at and comment on my story Manso's Shame

on Feb. 22 2011 at 10:03 pm
Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
It is a bit short but it is a children's book, can't have it to long. I also plan to extend it a bit to add to the story. Thanks!

on Feb. 22 2011 at 8:05 pm
Timekeeper DIAMOND, Cary, North Carolina
62 articles 0 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk'?, and I say 'No that's trendy'!"- Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day

This is neat, it was cool to be able to read the entire thing all the way through, but it was a little short! I look forward to your next work!

on Feb. 17 2011 at 1:42 pm
Alec.M.Strong BRONZE, Kent, Washington
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
Thank you for the support!

Blondi said...
on Feb. 17 2011 at 11:28 am
Good job, Alec!  You have a talent for building suspense, once I started, I couldn't stop reading.  I just had to know what came next.


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