Mysterious Love

December 18, 2010
By -Missy- BRONZE, ahhh, South Dakota
-Missy- BRONZE, Ahhh, South Dakota
1 article 0 photos 75 comments

Summary:

As Ash goes through many different challenges he thought he would never see himself going through, seems like it might be the last things he will ever do. He loses his lover, his brother, and he may just end up losing his life. He meets a new girl named Thorn, but can he trust her? In the book Mysterious Love, it will keep you on edge.


-Missy-

Mysterious Love


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This book has 4 comments.


on Jun. 7 2012 at 7:13 pm
AlexEvansTM SILVER, Lansing, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Pessimism comes from our passion, optimism comes from our will.

Right when I started reading this book, I noticed you used words like there and that, instead of using those words, describe it!

on Mar. 14 2011 at 7:27 pm
JustAnotherOwl SILVER, Unknown, New York
6 articles 0 photos 379 comments

Favorite Quote:
"See, we don't really care who you are;
Everyone is capable of looking up and wishing on a star.
So catch it, so contagious, this day-dreamer's disease,
And hope can be your sword, slaying darkness with belief."

"Sanctuary"- Paradise Fears

This was interesting. It's a good idea, though I don't usually read stories so...dark, I guess.

The wording was very awkward at some parts and I agree, just polish it some and you could have a great story!


Megan.J.B said...
on Feb. 23 2011 at 9:47 pm
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Here's the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional."
- Green Goblin. :)

I liked the idea of the story because it was really morbid and there was a great point of view change in there too. That is hard to master and I think you did it well here.

One thing that I didn't like is that at times you wording was just extremeley awkward and you used words in an incorrect context. For me, that is a HUGE pet peeve. I would say even if you went through and fixed wording. Usually I don't make too many comments about wording but in this case their are some really messy examples of this.

All in all it was a clever and witty piece for a teen. You thought out the ideas and there were no unreasonable events. The execution though was sloppy at times. Edit it up and make it neater and you've got a great story here. :)


on Feb. 3 2011 at 9:52 am
literaryaddict PLATINUM, Albuquerque, New Mexico
23 articles 3 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We're almost there and no where near it. All that matters is that we're going." Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
"The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound." Lady Bracknell, The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde

I hope you'll add more! I really liked it and want to know how it continues!


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