Isabel...

December 15, 2010
By ShannonVictoria BRONZE, Dutch Haror, Alaska
ShannonVictoria BRONZE, Dutch Haror, Alaska
4 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love takes time. Don't keep asking random people to go out with you. If you wait, God will send the right person to you. But if you don't, then you may never find the one you're destend to be with." -Shannon McConnell


Summary:

Three kids whose parents have died in a car accident, first start out with living in a foster home. Soon enough, they are all adopted by different parents, and are separated for most of their lives. Eventually, they end up meeting eachother AND a family friend. Soon they realize what REALLY happened to their parents. Was it a car accident?

Tags: Family


Shannon M.

Isabel...


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This book has 4 comments.


on Sep. 30 2012 at 8:19 pm
Freckles3 BRONZE, ------------, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The universe is not only queerer than we suppose; it is queerer than we can suppose."
~J.B.S. Haldane

Okay, that was frightening. Yikes yikes yikes. Really good suspense at the end! You could add more action in the rest of the story... But the end was perfect. Absolutely perfect. I was on the edge of my seat! This was really good!

on May. 11 2011 at 7:57 pm
OreoLover BRONZE, Houston, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Focus on finding a more natural word choice: i've honestly never seen an eight year old weep, they cry(weep sounds like something an older person would do), conjunctions(it sounds forced and scripted when you don't use them) I agree with purple_ashes that you should keep the prolouge to the POV of one of the kids. Love it!

on Dec. 25 2010 at 3:50 am
ShannonVictoria BRONZE, Dutch Haror, Alaska
4 articles 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love takes time. Don't keep asking random people to go out with you. If you wait, God will send the right person to you. But if you don't, then you may never find the one you're destend to be with." -Shannon McConnell

Yea, i think you're right. I should probably look over it a couple times and really fix some things. But i think i will keep this one up for a while to see if anyone else has any other things i should probably fix. :) Thanks for your help! :)

on Dec. 24 2010 at 5:57 pm
sany.lastflame PLATINUM, Frederick, Colorado
33 articles 16 photos 257 comments
There is a lot of potential in this story and I was really drawn in by the prolouge of the story. HOwever, after readin father my interest got lost. Your writing is really outstanding but I think this story needs some editing. Maybe tell it from the point of veiw from one child. Even in the first chapter... it seems like somethings missing in your writing... I'm not sure,,


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