The Virus (Full first Chapter) | Teen Ink

The Virus (Full first Chapter)

January 13, 2015
By Ronny BRONZE, Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
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Ronny BRONZE, Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
3 articles 11 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may not know who I was born to be, but I know who I am."
(That's an original quote I'm using in my book)


We both start running to the humming hovercraft, and I see Corah running in from the right. “You guys okay?” she asks.
Caleb and I nod, “There was just one,” I say, “Caleb took care of it.” I scan the surrounding buildings that have fallen into decay but don’t see who I’m looking for. “Where’s Will?”
Corah draws up next to us panting, and I know by the look in her eyes what’s happened before she says a word. “He’s dead,” she says, “we got separated by a horde and…” she shakes her head sorrowfully, “by the time I got there...”
Caleb holds up a hand, “We got the picture, let’s just get out of here.”
Caleb, Corah, and I all run over the remaining distance of rubble to the hovercraft. Caleb taps the button on his earpiece and his voice sounds in both Corah’s and mines ear buds. “Roberts, open up. We’re coming back.”
“So soon?” Roberts asks.
“Running low on ammo and we lost Will,” Caleb says, “Now open up!”
The door hisses open and I inside into the decontamination chamber. Inside a warm tingling sensation runs over my skin as a scanner removes contaminants from my skin and clothes. Corah and Caleb follow me soon afterward and are both decontaminated. At last I plop down into a chair and strap in, thankful to be safe again. Because no matter how confident or skilled any of us may be, it only takes one mistake, or one reckless decision out there and we’re dead. I take deep breaths to slow down my heart rate while Caleb makes his report to the compound over the radio, and Corah puts the rifles back in the gun rack. No matter how many times I go out I can’t concur my fear, I can’t make the lump in my throat or the churning in my stomach go away no matter how hard I try.
Corah plops down next to me and starts strapping in, “You okay?”
I stare off at the seats opposite me and nod, “Other than—almost dying I’m fine.”
Corah huffs a laugh and puts her hand on my shoulder, “Well, now we’re on leave for a week. So just take it easy.”
I turn to Corah, “And what happens after that? We go right back out again. Then it’s only a matter of time before we lose someone else.” Corah looks away and—I know—she’s thinking about Will. They weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, but they were close.  I look away, “Did he go quickly?”
Corah shakes her head once, “It look like it.”
I let out a breath and stare off, “I’m sorry Corah,” I say, “I know you two were close.”
She nods once then doesn’t speak again, and I don’t press the issue. I know what it’s like to lose someone to the virus, or—those controlled by the virus. In the few months I’ve been going on missions we’ve lost half a dozen soldiers, and three of them were my close friends.
Off in the cockpit Caleb is finishing up his report, and –all in all—it wasn’t a completely unsuccessful mission. Yes we lost a man, and a good one at that, but we took out over twenty people controlled by the virus. I’m told that’s no small accomplishment, but to me the price doesn’t seem worth it; every time we lose someone, there’s one less person to help spread a healthy population once the virus is eradicated. No one else seems to care about this or even consider it, since everyone wants to clear the area around our compound of the mutants.
When I think about it I guess it makes sense, but I still believe we could protect out compound without sacrificing so many men and women.

Caleb comes walking back into the main part of the craft where Corah and I are seated and sits down next to me, “Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod and smile in spite of myself, “Yes, I’m fine.”
Caleb straps in and the craft jolts as we take off, “We need to talk about something,” he says to me, “alone.”
Corah catches the hint and moves down to the end of the seats, I turn to Caleb. “What is it?”
Caleb brushes something off his jacket sleeve and avoids my eyes, “I’ve been requested to help with a horde near compound W. 12.”
My mouth drops open, “Compound W. 12?! Caleb—that’s in Colorado!”
Caleb nods, “I know it is, but they really need help there and I was selected as one of the group to be sent over.” I look away in an effort to both gain time to think and hide the emotions on my face from Caleb, “I’ve already asked, but—you won’t be able to come.”
I look back at Caleb in a rush, “Why not?”
Caleb lets out a loud breath, “Because you don’t have enough experience.”
I look out the window at the passing landscape of decaying buildings and overgrown plants. “So I assume you’re going?”
Caleb nods, “I don’t have a choice.”
I shake my head, “Caleb, you’re second in command at our compound; I think you could give quite a persuasive argument.”
“I tried to!” Caleb says, “But they really need me there, so I’m going.”
I let out a breath, “When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow.”
At first the word just bounces around in my head before it actually registers, “T-tomorrow?”
Caleb nods, “Yeah, first light.”
“I—I can’t believe you just told me this, Caleb. When did you find out?”
“Three days ago,” Caleb said, “I tried to fight it but command wouldn’t be persuaded.”
I bite my bottom lip and nod, “Okay.”
Caleb frowns at me, “Just ‘okay’?”
I nod, “Yeah, I’ll just—I’ll see you when you get back.”
Caleb lets out a breath, “That’s another thing.”
“What…is it?” I ask.
Caleb clenches his jaw for a moment and I see his anger boiling just below the surface, “They want me there for three months.”
I look away because this is upsetting me and I don’t want to cry. After all—Caleb is all I have left! It doesn’t seem fair that he has to be the one sent hundreds of miles away to fight, and it’s not like he’s the only one in our compound who knows how to fight; there are plenty of them. At least—there are right now, who knows what the future holds.
“Fine.” I say.

The sound of rain against my bedroom window gently pulls me toward wakefulness; I’m wrapped warm in a blanket and nestled up against my pillow. I know by the sound of my mother in the kitchen that it’s afternoon, I wonder if I’m sick or possibly have the flue and that’s why I’m allowed to sleep so late.
I feel someone sit on the sit on the bed beside me and I roll toward them, a warm hand rests on my head; possibly checking for a fever.
“Tory?”
I twitch a frown; it’s isn’t my mother’s voice, or my fathers, or Caleb’s. I open my eyes—only—I’m not looking up from my bunk bed at home; I’m looking up at the dark metal ceiling of the compound, and the face of my best friend and fellow soldier Corah.
The warm comfort of the life I lost shatters and falls away as I remember where I truly am. Caleb has been gone for over a month now and I haven’t seen the light of day since he left. I’ve passed the time training, doing target practice, and working on whatever job I can find, but it’s been agonizingly slow.
I sniffle and sit up in bed, “What is it Corah?” I ask.
Corah smiles and stands up, “I just wanted to check on you, you haven’t slept this late in a while.”
I prop myself up on a elbow and look around our nearly empty sleeping quarters; one or two other girls are still getting dressed, but for the most part their all gone and the beds are made. “What time is it?” I ask.
“Nearly ten,” Corah says, “are—are you feeling okay?”
I sit up and start pulling my tangled mess of hair back into something that resembles a braid, “I’m feeling fine,” I say, “don’t worry about me.”
Corah clicks her tongue, “Well I’m not worrying, just curious.”
I pull my worn boots from under my bed and slip them on, “Good.”
Corah stands watch while I tie my boots and I’m left wondering if she came here for a greater reason than to wake me up, “So…did you need something?” I ask.
Corah sucks her lower lip through her teeth and starts to shake her head, but then, changing her mind, she shrugs. “Well, I was wondering why you weren’t in bed last night.” My fingers pause on my bootlaces and I stare at the floor.
“That’s none of your business.” I say. The sting of disappointment throbs in my chest as I remember not only last night, but all the nights I’ve stood on the balcony watching for him to return.
His name is Ian.
He was two classes ahead of me in training when I was sixteen, and the only man I ever really thought highly of. We spent the whole summer together talking about our pasts, and what the world would be like once things go back to normal; what we’d do and who we’d be. I never realized how much I cared about him, at least—not until he left. The day I became eligible to go out on missions he was sent off to be on the president’s security detail. Before he left he gave me something, he said it was to remember him by; it’s a little blue crystal that he said he found buried in his back yard when he was a boy, and it was the only thing he had of his old life.
I told him I couldn’t take it, and that it was his. But he just smiled, closed my fingers around the crystal, and told me that he would always come back for what was his. I wear that crystal as a necklace now, and I’ve never let anyone else see it.
So I watch for him now, every night; I stand on the balcony overlooking the land outside the compound, hoping that one day I’ll see him coming back to me. I know that it’ll probably never happy, and for all I know he’s been dead for years. But I still dream that one night he’ll come out of the woods and return to me, and we’ll live out the futures we dreamed up for ourselves…maybe even together.



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This book has 4 comments.


Ronny BRONZE said...
on Jun. 1 2015 at 9:13 pm
Ronny BRONZE, Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
3 articles 11 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may not know who I was born to be, but I know who I am."
(That's an original quote I'm using in my book)

Well...that's your oppinion...but for the record I have never EVER watched or read a zombie anything, so this DOES have my own flair. And BTW, Caleb is her brother! You obviously didn't read very thoroughly.

raeee GOLD said...
on Jan. 27 2015 at 10:09 pm
raeee GOLD, Walla Walla, Georgia
15 articles 3 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Would she hear me if I called her name? Would she hold me if she knew my shame? Would she even love me if I was to blame?" -Favourite poem ever♥

First of all, the entire idea is fairly overused an worn out. I'm not saying you can't make it work, but I am saying that you'll really need to add your own flair to it somehow. Another thing about the idea, if you want to stand out from other authors who have written about things like this, then maybe you should really add something into it that makes it yours. I know that these two sentences are a bit redundant, but just bare with me for a moment. The opening scene, where Will dies and Corah, the narrator and Caleb all meet up to go back to base is slightly... dry. There aren't any real images that stick in my mind's eye. It's almost as if you're just telling me what it's about, not really showing me. Imagery is key, and this is a bit of an issue that follows throughout the story. The transition into her being in the bunk is very... hard to follow. There should be some sort of true indicator of the fact that she was either dreaming, or whatever, about the day of Will's death / Caleb's leaving. The bit of Ian is a bit... confusing when you bring him into the equation. It's almost as if she's in love with Caleb, and then bam, you make her seem in love with this other character. Almost like in New Moon when Edward runs off, and Bella falls for another guy, only to be torn between the two of them. Things like that really should be polished up. Grammar, word choice, and a few other things of that nature should probably also be polished up. There was a spot or two where the words didn't fit, or you were missing one. Overall, like all stories in the making, this has a bit of potential. Don't go too flowery on the imagery, write what you know, polish the grammar aspects, make it all your own, and keep writing. That's basically all I got.

Ronny BRONZE said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 8:38 pm
Ronny BRONZE, Saint Clair Shores, Michigan
3 articles 11 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may not know who I was born to be, but I know who I am."
(That's an original quote I'm using in my book)

Thanks!!!!! (I do have a full book and POSSIBLE series planned.)

alioops SILVER said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 8:36 pm
alioops SILVER, North Hollywood, California
8 articles 2 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What moves men of genius, or rather, what inspires their work, is not new ideas, but their obsession with the idea that what has already been said is still not enough."
- Eugene Delacroix

This is super cool! It has great potential for a full book or even a whole series. Great work!