If Love Were a Fairytale (Revised)

April 19, 2012
By Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of this picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
I will never understand
Because only God is God


Summary:

He dances with her everyday in the forest where he lives. They all dance there, but every night, when the sun sets, she must go. Every night she leaves heading north and he cannot follow.


Nic R.

If Love Were a Fairytale (Revised)


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This book has 22 comments.


on Aug. 3 2013 at 4:39 pm
love.writing BRONZE, St. Clair Shores, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 37 comments
This is really amazing.  I got that feeling of losing yourself into a book which was pretty cool.

on Oct. 11 2012 at 5:33 pm
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of this picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
I will never understand
Because only God is God

Who said it's been copied?

on Jul. 22 2012 at 5:59 pm
WhenItRains21 GOLD, Magnolia, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 54 comments
You've got a wonderful writing style. Every word paints a picture. It's beautiful. The story itself is nice, too, I'd love to read more of it! I also love the way that there are no names until the very end, and no dialogue. It really adds to this sort of magical tone.

c.foster said...
on Jul. 12 2012 at 6:29 pm
Good job brother i really enjoyed reading your work(:

on May. 23 2012 at 12:37 pm
FluteFreak SILVER, Auburn, Indiana
8 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Insanity just adds a little spice to life!" -Me

Your imagery is exquisite and word choice is excellent. Nice work

on May. 6 2012 at 2:03 am
sithsadist BRONZE, Everson, Washington
3 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading.
- C. S. Lewis

I love the imagery and the beginning leaves me very curious as to where this going! You clearly have a firm grasp in your mind of what you want the reader to see, and it comes across perfectly, so kudos for that.

All in all, nice read, please continue :)


on May. 3 2012 at 6:25 pm
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of this picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
I will never understand
Because only God is God

Thank you!

ShadowRealms said...
on May. 3 2012 at 11:23 am
Amazing use of imagery and a great concept! I'm looking forward to more:) 

on May. 2 2012 at 7:07 am
Itsbeenalongday SILVER, Hendersonville, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
The Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time!

GREAT WORK

on May. 1 2012 at 7:49 pm
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of this picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
I will never understand
Because only God is God

Thanks, I really appreciate the positive comment

on May. 1 2012 at 7:48 pm
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of this picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
I will never understand
Because only God is God

I came to the exact same conclusion when I was reading through it again. Thanks for the advise!

on May. 1 2012 at 6:55 pm
NatalieAnn BRONZE, Mira Loma, California
1 article 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Because you don't choose who you fall in love with. "

the imagery that you use is absolutley amazing! :D

Katsa08 SILVER said...
on May. 1 2012 at 11:03 am
Katsa08 SILVER, Sidney, Iowa
5 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does."
"What others think of me is none of my business."

This is a very nice beginning. I love the imagery that you used. One quick thought: Some of the sentences seem to have trouble flowing together. Maybe you should combine some of them with a comma or conjunction? It helps move the story along.

on Apr. 30 2012 at 3:15 pm
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of this picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
I will never understand
Because only God is God

I'm actually working on a full length novel for my other work When You Say Nothing At All. I might work on it after though. Thanks for the comment! :)

on Apr. 30 2012 at 2:29 pm
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 190 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

WHAT?! is it only one page? man, that's disappointing. i wanted to read more. you should develop this into a book series, with different books for each couple's story. you could call the series "Those That Dance" or something. :-) very cute; great job.

on Apr. 30 2012 at 12:59 pm
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of this picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
I will never understand
Because only God is God

Thank you! :)

on Apr. 30 2012 at 12:18 pm
curlygurlray GOLD, Visalia, California
18 articles 1 photo 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
you have the life you let yourself take.

awesome way to gfet to the point(:

on Apr. 29 2012 at 4:54 pm
JessicaMaria SILVER, Claxton, Georgia
6 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Sanity is statistical." -George Orwell

Lovely. <3

Bobby Smith said...
on Apr. 25 2012 at 3:03 am
That's pretty intense man. Good stuff

on Apr. 25 2012 at 2:57 am
Atl.Braves03 BRONZE, Tampa, FL, Florida
4 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of this picture he's painting
God is God and I am man
I will never understand
Because only God is God

Thanks! :)


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