Thief, Book 1: War

April 15, 2012
By AddictedToWriting BRONZE, La Grande, Oregon
AddictedToWriting BRONZE, La Grande, Oregon
3 articles 5 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writer's Block is when your characters get fed up with all you put them through and go on strike." -- Anonomous
"A Writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."--Thomas Mann


Summary:

Svet is a world separate from ours. Slightly smaller, a little more advanced, a little more unique. The people of Svet live with what we would consider to be extraspecial "Abilities". The number, strength, and type of Abilities varies from person to person.
Seventeen-year-old Zalika is a Theif. Her incredibly rare and potent Ability has sustained the Rebel movement in the hot revolutionary war ravaging the planet. But despite her growing fame (or, in some regions, infamy), her life is anything but ideal. She has more than her fair share of demons to fight.

This is her story.


AddictedToWriting

Thief, Book 1: War


Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 7 comments.


ShadowRealms said...
on May. 1 2012 at 6:40 pm
If you were going for the whole no fancy words thing, then you did a great job! And yes, now I am less confused. :) upload more please I am excited to see how this book turns out!

on May. 1 2012 at 3:23 pm
AddictedToWriting BRONZE, La Grande, Oregon
3 articles 5 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writer's Block is when your characters get fed up with all you put them through and go on strike." -- Anonomous
"A Writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."--Thomas Mann

Yay!  The author's notes DO get read!!  And yes, this is an absolute first draft.  :D

Okay.  Thank you for telling me that, as I was definitely concerned about cheese.  If it helps any, the romance is not a central theme in the book.  Really, it was just supposed to be an added issue.

 

Okay, to the second note:  I guess the best I can say here is that people do weird things when they're injured.  It's not the same, I know, but I've seen people come out of surgery and go from loopy to unconscious to completely there back to unconscious again.  So I guess I kind of based this off those experiences.  It's good to know that it seems unrealistic, though.  I'll have to go back and do what I can to make that less of an issue.

 

Thanks!!!


on May. 1 2012 at 3:18 pm
AddictedToWriting BRONZE, La Grande, Oregon
3 articles 5 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writer's Block is when your characters get fed up with all you put them through and go on strike." -- Anonomous
"A Writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."--Thomas Mann

Haha I'm glad you like it.  Yeah, I was toying with the idea of labeling the first chapter as a "prologue", but as I plan on doing more flashback chapters like that one, I was afraid it would mess withthe flow.  If you looked (and this is more obvious in the original format) you can see that the second chapter takes place two years after the first.   Does that knowledge make it less confusing?  Or do I need to do more with it?

 

Spicing up the words?  Maybe.  As I said in my comment on your book, I tend to prefer plain words.  And that applys especially for Zalika's voice as I don't see her as having a particularly extensive vocabulary.  Maybe in dialogue from other characters, if I switch POVs, or in some of the more descriptive passages I'll use more specific words.  I'm glad to know that the lack of fancy words is noticable, though.  I'll keep that in mind from now on.

 

 Thanks!!


on May. 1 2012 at 3:13 pm
AddictedToWriting BRONZE, La Grande, Oregon
3 articles 5 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writer's Block is when your characters get fed up with all you put them through and go on strike." -- Anonomous
"A Writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people."--Thomas Mann

Thanks!  Yeah, I know.  Cheesiness is an issue.  If it makes you feel better, the romance is not really continued through the story.  :)

 

Okay, yeah.  I'm working on finding a balance right now.  Previously, I had an issue with sometimes spending too much energy on how a character was feeling and it created issues when it was time to re-enter the action.  So it's good to know that I've at least found the other extreme now.  I'll work on some more detail.

 

Thanks again!!!


on May. 1 2012 at 11:12 am
ScubaDiver GOLD, Billingham, Other
13 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
When Life gives you a hundred reasons to cry show life you have a thousand reasons to smile
Work Like you dont need the money love like you've never been hurt dance like theres no one in the room
You have enemies, good, that means you've fought for

Wow.. this is pretty good. It is slightly cheesy and I think you need to write more detail, maybe describe more how the character is feeling. Apart from that I like it. 

ShadowRealms said...
on May. 1 2012 at 10:47 am
I don't mind the cheese, to be honest. I LOVE love stories and this one stole my heart and kept a firm grip on it right from the start. I loved the hook, but I'm a bit confused. Was this like a prologue in a way? Or was it foreshadowing a part of the book later to come? Other than that I loved it, but some of your words could you spice up? Great job and I'm excited to read the next part! Keep uploading:)

Katsa08 SILVER said...
on May. 1 2012 at 10:03 am
Katsa08 SILVER, Sidney, Iowa
5 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does."
"What others think of me is none of my business."

Alright, I read your author's note for this first chapter - how it borders on cheesy. I'm a girl, and you should know that romance isn't my cup o' tea, (I have it in my books, but twilight can go downstairs if you know what I mean) so I have to agree partly on the cheesiness. It's kind of hard to tell at first glance, but there are just a few issues I have with it.

1. It seems pretty generic. I've read romance novels before, and they all contain pretty much the same thing, and this scene has the potential to be really unique.

2. The characters seem to be trying a bit too hard to be "romantic" in this scene. If he's dying, I find it a little hard to believe that he could say so much to her. It's a little too... cute, I suppose.

Romance aside, I AM looking forward very much to reading the next chapter. I like your wording for the most part. It keeps it central and gets the feeling across nicely. I'm curious about these characters. Does he make it? What does she do if he doesn't? That sort of thing.

Overall, very well done. I look forward to reading more, and I can't wait to see what you do in later chapters. Is this a first draft? If so, it was FANTASTIC. 



Parkland Book