Blood red

December 17, 2011
By andromeda13 SILVER, Barrie, Other
andromeda13 SILVER, Barrie, Other
8 articles 0 photos 174 comments

Summary:

Red is a teen-aged girl living in The Village to the North, nick named Red after her red hair and the legend of Little Red riding hood. She is the youngest fighter and the only female fighter in her village. she helps her village fight their mortal enemies of more than a hundred year the Village to the South.And it just so happens that the Village to the South is a village inhabited by mutant wolves. Red is also the descendant of a whole blood line of renowned fighters; she is the only one that can save her village, so what happens when she is bitten?

Tags: Were-wolves


andromeda13

Blood red


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This book has 6 comments.


on Nov. 12 2012 at 10:32 pm
bluetopazeyez SILVER, Orinda, California
7 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't want me now, don't miss me later."

this story kept me on the edge of my seat!!!!! you had a lot of repetitave word, but it was still a great story to read!!!

on Dec. 29 2011 at 8:15 pm
Infinity_Roses GOLD, Omaha, Nebraska
10 articles 0 photos 13 comments
I think this is great! You have wonderful word choice, and a very original plotline that's intriguing and mysterious. I would try to slice it up a little more so it's easier to swallow. But other than that, I love it! Good luck with the rest of it! :)

on Dec. 29 2011 at 5:20 pm
LockLemon BRONZE, Saratoga Springs, Utah
4 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

It was pretty good, you have very good imagery and style. The storyline was interesting, intriguing, and captivating. However I do think you need to use commas and apostrophes MUCH more often, and this was good for a rough draft but not a final one. :)

on Dec. 29 2011 at 8:27 am
FluteFreak SILVER, Auburn, Indiana
8 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Insanity just adds a little spice to life!" -Me

This was awesome. you did a really good job with keeping the action moving and I want to read more. However, I would suggest that you reread it. You change from past tense to present tense at some points and I also caught some misused words throughout the piece, like in the third paragraph "new" should be "knew."

on Dec. 26 2011 at 7:20 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
So I think this has a really intense and interesting story line. It reminds me of a mix of the new movei Red Riding Hood and the book Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. The imagery is really great and I want to read more! My suggestions for change: you really need to re-look over everything because I caught some misued words (like "hear" for "here" and things line that). There is also a change tense or two. That could be fixed with just looking over it. Also, Red's first point of view has the world "blood" in it a lot-too much. Try describing the blood i words such as "haunting crimson" or "painful rivers" instead of just "blood" because it was way overused. In Rowan's part you change from one scene to another. Indicate that change not only with a new paragraph but maybe by spacing the paragraphs apart because it confused me. One second he was in a council with the villagers and the next he's outside.. Finally- unless you think of making Alex a really important character, I think you should leave his name out. Just referring to him as a doctor works well. Even if you do plan on making him an important character, do it later on when it's needed. When that happens you can be like, "that doctor from when I was first bit," or something of the sort. Otherwise, it's really good! I can't wait for more to come out! If you have the chance, please check out any of my work (preferably my newest Lady Leprechan). And don't feel hesitant to check out more than one piece! Please and thank you :)

Fayrouz SILVER said...
on Dec. 26 2011 at 3:45 pm
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

I admit I didn't read all of it, but I did read most of it and I really like the fresh imagery your writing brings up. The voice is terrific and keeps the story real. I didn't notice too many grammar/spelling mistakes, which is good, although I did see some things that I believe could be eliminated with a little more careful proofreading. The beginning is definitely something that pulls the reader in, but this isn't my favorite genre so I thought you did pretty well since I kept reading :) Good luck and keep writing! Could you please check out my "Bride of the Nile" post under the Fiction Writing Workshop Forums? Thanks and good luck!


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