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The Death of Annabelle

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Author's note: I was in my parent's room talking with my dad while he was watching TV. I am not sure what movie...  Show full author's note »
Author's note: I was in my parent's room talking with my dad while he was watching TV. I am not sure what movie it was, but the few minutes I saw really intrigued me. I did not watch the rest of the movie, I was too busy thinking about what would happen if one of my characters were in that situation (Chapter 1). The rest of the story just kind of played out in my head.  « Hide author's note
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 13 Next »

Prologue

NIXON ARRESTED FOR SUBSTANCE X
Bradley Nixon, founder of Clean Power Incorporated, has been life sentenced to jail. Nixon, once thought to have solved energy needs by replacing the use of fossil fuels with Substance X, is no longer seen as a hero. When Substance X was first created in December 2230, officials, eager to have solved a major problem, overlooked the potential health problems. With its past of an efficient coal cleaning process and successful nuclear fusion, many figured nothing could be wrong with Substance X.
A few years after the creation of Substance X, which survey’s show is the country’s number one energy source by a landslide, an epidemic, known as the Dark Epidemic, began. With brain scans, doctors have traced the cause back to Substance X. One of three families has reported having one or more family members that have come down with the epidemic. Nixon failing to reveal the contents of creation has proved to be a fatal mistake. When a person breathes in Substance X over a long period of time, it begins to affect one’s brain cells. Over time, these cells become mutated. However, this isn’t just brain cancer.
Patients insist that they are hearing voices, even though no one is talking. They begin to hallucinate, gradually going crazy. There is currently no cure, and once one comes down with it they will surely die.
Human volunteers to run experiments on are very scarce. Doctors say they need to run tests on a human being with the disease in order to find any possible antidotes.
“When I first created Substance X, I had no idea what it would cause,” Nixon admitted at his trial, “I’m very sorry for not revealing its contents.”
It is a little too late for sorry. Because Substance X has been an energy source for most things, it will be very difficult to completely stop the use of it. Meanwhile, millions of lives are being lost. Some areas, where use of Substance X was heavy, are completely wiped out.
“We were too optimistic,” Dr. Henry Stallins claims, “We were so eager to find a solution to our energy problem. When one came around, we were too quick to take it.”
Solar panels, wind turbines and dams are being built at an impressive rate. However, this kind of energy cannot be provided just anywhere.
Reluctantly, the use of fossil fuels is coming back. With its relative cheapness and availability, to many it seems like the only option in this desperate situation. The supply is quickly diminishing, so this solution would be very brief. A temporary fix to a huge problem.
Clean Power Incorporated, as well as many other industries, will be gradually shut down and replaced. During this gradual process, a devastating number of lives will be lost.
“One day, we will find a solution to our energy needs,” a jury member from the trial states, “I just hope that I will be able to live to see it.”
Chapters:   « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 13 Next »


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This book has 23 comments. Post your own!

Vagabond said...
Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:39 am:
I LOVEEEEEEED IT!!!
 
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JustCallMeSarah said...
Oct. 16, 2011 at 11:40 am:
Ohh....My...God.... THIS IS AMAZING! A horribly sad story, but very well written =) Looks like you've got another fan!
 
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Emily.L said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 12:55 pm:
2 chapters down...I like it so far, but honestly, I'm not much for reading stuff about the future, even if I have written stuff about it outside of teen ink. I can still see it's good though :)
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 1:56 pm :
I'm not big on it either. This probably isn't my favorite novel I've written, but I figured that I might as well post it
 
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BrightBurningCampeadorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 8:42 pm:
How exactly do you inject brain cells??????
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 10:51 pm :
Hpnestly I have no idea :b It takes place in the far future so they'll probably figure it out by then haha
 
BrightBurningCampeadorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 4, 2011 at 9:06 pm :
We have completely different strategies then. I',ve spent 2 weeks researching just one little thing for a story I'm writing. Oh well, each his or her own, so to speak. :D
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 5, 2011 at 9:41 am :
Oh, this was just something I wrote for fun. Definitely not my best, I'm working a bit harder on my next novel. :b
 
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xelawriter97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 11:18 am:
OMG I love your work now!!! I'm a total fan! 
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 15, 2011 at 3:59 pm :
Aww thank you(: I'm glad you my writing(:
 
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NavishJaved said...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 6:15 pm:

Honest opinion: Wow! I loved it! I love the plot, the characters, everything! Excellent job! :)

There really is nothing major that I recommend you to change. I think that you should definitely make this into a real novel and get it published. I would 1,000% buy something like this! :D

Plus, you know what's weird? I am writing a story and I have a Doctor Henry in my story, too. LOL, but my story takes place in the 1800's in London, England. :)

 

G... (more »)

 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 7:03 pm :
Aww thanks(: You should give me the title of the book you're writing and tell me when it's  up
 
NavishJaved replied...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 8:13 pm :

And you know what? I have an Annabel in that story, too. :) Different spelling, though, LOL! The main character's name is Lydia. :D You can read it if you want.

 

Sure, I'll tell you about it when I post it up. No problem-o! :D

 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 30, 2011 at 11:36 am :
Hahah really? That's funny :b I can't wait to read it
 
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AddictedToWriting said...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 10:39 pm:

Chapter Two:

 

This was a little sudden.  I feel like I needed a longer passage about who Kyle had been, the siblings' reactions and emotional responses had been to his illness, and their hardship in a fast-paced city like New York.  I also felt that there were too many useless facts (i.e. the tidbit about the homeless guy wanting the taxi as a place to sleep.  While it was funny, it was...--sorry I'm having difficulty finding the right word--sticky.  It... (more »)

 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 5:49 am :
Thanks for your feedback. I have a lot of editing to do, I wanted to get feedback on the first draft, and this was really helpful.
 
AddictedToWriting replied...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 8:38 am :
No problem!  And don't get discouraged because of all the critiques I gave.  It's simply a lot easier to comment on what needs to be worked on than it is to comment on what's already being done well.  :D
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 28, 2011 at 6:04 pm :
It's fine! It's what I needed to hear in order to improve(: I hope other than what you have already pointed out that you enjoyed it
 
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AddictedToWriting said...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 10:16 pm:

Chapter One:

Good so far, but it's a little back-and-forth on writing style.  One the one hand, it's obviously supposed to be a newspaper article, but on the other hand, it's written a little to informally to be completely taken as such.  Terms like "It's a little too late for sorry" and "gradually going crazy" should be avoided in formal writing works like this.  The "gradually going crazy" is an easy fix.  Instead of "Going crazy", substitute "becoming insane".&nb... (more »)

 
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leaf44 said...
Apr. 26, 2011 at 6:37 pm:
I love the idea - very original, and very well written.  Great Job!
 
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