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HomeThe Death of Annabelle
The Death of Annabelle
Summary: A deadly epidemic, known as the Dark Epidemic, has taken a great number of lives at a rapid rate. The victim first hears voices, then hallucinates, and then gradually goes crazy. Congress secretly passes a bill which gives doctors with a permit permission to do anything which will help stop this epidemic. Leaving citizen's rights to temporarily be denied.
Vagabond
JustCallMeSarahOhh....My...God.... THIS IS AMAZING! A horribly sad story, but very well written =) Looks like you've got another fan!
Emily.L2 chapters down...I like it so far, but honestly, I'm not much for reading stuff about the future, even if I have written stuff about it outside of teen ink. I can still see it's good though :)
I'm not big on it either. This probably isn't my favorite novel I've written, but I figured that I might as well post it
BrightBurningCampeador
How exactly do you inject brain cells??????
Hpnestly I have no idea :b It takes place in the far future so they'll probably figure it out by then haha
We have completely different strategies then. I',ve spent 2 weeks researching just one little thing for a story I'm writing. Oh well, each his or her own, so to speak. :D
Oh, this was just something I wrote for fun. Definitely not my best, I'm working a bit harder on my next novel. :b
xelawriter97OMG I love your work now!!! I'm a total fan!
NavishJavedHonest opinion: Wow! I loved it! I love the plot, the characters, everything! Excellent job! :)
There really is nothing major that I recommend you to change. I think that you should definitely make this into a real novel and get it published. I would 1,000% buy something like this! :D
Plus, you know what's weird? I am writing a story and I have a Doctor Henry in my story, too. LOL, but my story takes place in the 1800's in London, England. :)
G... (more »)
Aww thanks(: You should give me the title of the book you're writing and tell me when it's up
And you know what? I have an Annabel in that story, too. :) Different spelling, though, LOL! The main character's name is Lydia. :D You can read it if you want.
Sure, I'll tell you about it when I post it up. No problem-o! :D
AddictedToWritingChapter Two:
This was a little sudden. I feel like I needed a longer passage about who Kyle had been, the siblings' reactions and emotional responses had been to his illness, and their hardship in a fast-paced city like New York. I also felt that there were too many useless facts (i.e. the tidbit about the homeless guy wanting the taxi as a place to sleep. While it was funny, it was...--sorry I'm having difficulty finding the right word--sticky. It... (more »)
Thanks for your feedback. I have a lot of editing to do, I wanted to get feedback on the first draft, and this was really helpful.
No problem! And don't get discouraged because of all the critiques I gave. It's simply a lot easier to comment on what needs to be worked on than it is to comment on what's already being done well. :D
It's fine! It's what I needed to hear in order to improve(: I hope other than what you have already pointed out that you enjoyed it
Chapter One:
Good so far, but it's a little back-and-forth on writing style. One the one hand, it's obviously supposed to be a newspaper article, but on the other hand, it's written a little to informally to be completely taken as such. Terms like "It's a little too late for sorry" and "gradually going crazy" should be avoided in formal writing works like this. The "gradually going crazy" is an easy fix. Instead of "Going crazy", substitute "becoming insane".&nb... (more »)
leaf44I love the idea - very original, and very well written. Great Job!
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