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White Ribbon

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EGram
White Ribbon
Summary: They told us we were adopted, part of their tribal family. But I’m still not sure that we’ve escaped the Officials back home. I know that the tribe won’t let me leave this place, and I know that if I go home the City will kill me there.

My brother watches the dance hugging the leg of the woman who tells him she’s his mother. My sister, at least, remembers we are sisters. She knows I do not love the chief’s son.

Eamon holds my waist with strong hands as we dance, and the chief looks on in approval. I think of Lazaro. I think of my kiss with Lazaro, and I see him in the crowd. I meet his eyes with shame.
The crowd is ready to cheer and clap. My wedding is almost over.





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This book has 87 comments. Post your own!

randumfaveThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 1, 2012 at 9:10 am:

This is a cool story. I'm only halfway through right now, I just finished chapter six. I noticed a few flaws, but not many. One was the pace was slightly too fast for my taste, because, think about it this way: when you go to barnes and noble or borders and buy a nice new book, it will take a while to get into the action, but in here, it's pretty much just the first chapter and then bang comes the action. Likewise between action, such as when Arcana and her siblings escape the police, it take... (more »)

 
randumfaveThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 1, 2012 at 2:42 pm :
Well... I kept reading a little bit, and they have guns... so scratch that :p
 
Jessica.Lowle replied...
Dec. 16, 2013 at 1:27 pm :
There's only two chapters...
 
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Eisdnyl14 said...
Oct. 18, 2011 at 11:36 am:
This is great! You are very talented, well done!
 
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RhythmAndRhyme said...
Jul. 1, 2011 at 11:16 am:

I spent days reading this over and over again. The plot haunted me throughout the instances when I was not reading the actual words. This was extremely well written, and I'd love if you continued the story!

I almost feel bad saying that I couldn't actually find anything to remedy with constructive criticism. I feel that way because someone might think that I'm only making them feel good when there's actually something there to fix. In this instance, that is not true! This work was trul... (more »)

 
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Midnight_Hum This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 8:21 am:
Wow...
I'm sorry I took so long to comment.  I searched for 'White Ribbon' and I couldn't find it, then Teen Ink re-added the 'My Contributions' thingy and I was able to find it instantly.
Just for the record, I NEVER reply to comments asking me to read their story. But you compared my story to "The Lady or the Tiger" which not only flattered me and made my big head swell, but also impressed me that you had heard of it.
Because that was definitely an inspiration to my story.<... (more »)
 
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Midnight_Hum This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 1, 2011 at 8:20 am:

Wow...

I'm sorry I took so long to comment.  I searched for 'White Ribbon' and I couldn't find it, then Teen Ink re-added the 'My Contributions' thingy and I was able to find it instantly.

Just for the record, I NEVER reply to comments asking me to read their story. But you compared my story to "The Lady or the Tiger" which not only flattered me and made my big head swell, but also impressed me that you had heard of it.

Because that was definately an inspiration to m... (more »)

 
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lalagirlThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 24, 2011 at 5:03 pm:
This is sooo great! The world you've made is captivating and keeps me wanting more. Keep writing!
 
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becauseHeloves said...
May 23, 2011 at 9:44 am:
This is GOOD. I'm eagerly awaiting more chapters!
 
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flyingpinkgiraffesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 2:56 pm:
Oh wow this has to be one of the best BOOKS ive read.  i mean im comparing it to profesional published books, not books on teenink!
 
EmilyGram replied...
Apr. 27, 2011 at 4:06 pm :
Thank you so much!  Your comment really motivates me to write.  I appreciate it so much.  Thank you :)
 
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Gabby J. said...
Apr. 23, 2011 at 8:15 pm:
Wow, i'm pretty new to teenink, but this is one of the best things I have looked at! I love how suspenseful it is, I can't wait for the next chapters!
 
EmilyGram replied...
Apr. 24, 2011 at 10:39 pm :

Thank you!  I'm glad you like it and that you commented!

 

 
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Medina D. said...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 9:02 am:
hey Emily! i know its random, but I'm really serious i had a weird dream last night.............i was seeing titles of published books from teenink writers, and the one i remember (from seeing your novel on the front page of novels) was  "White ribbon" I'm not joking AT ALL. :) Have a good day!! This book is awesome
 
EmilyGram replied...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 11:12 am :
haha that's awesome! :) I'm glad you shared that with me!
 
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Violets said...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 12:29 pm:

OMG this was totally awesome!!! This shoudl be a book...i would totally buy it!!!!!

 

 
EmilyGram replied...
Apr. 16, 2011 at 7:30 pm :
Thank you so much.  Your feedback really helps to motivate me to keep writing!
 
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wordjunkie said...
Apr. 9, 2011 at 6:07 pm:
Written well and descriptive! I couldn't read the whole thing, but I loved what  did.
 
EmilyGram replied...
Apr. 16, 2011 at 7:29 pm :
I'm glad you like it so far!  Please keep reading and let me know what you think :)
 
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jbaker0184 said...
Mar. 28, 2011 at 12:43 pm:
Very Interesting story Emily.  I realy liked where you went with it.  My name is Jake and I want you to stay in touch with me.  I may need help with my novel.
 
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