Teen Ink

This is a cool story. I'm only halfway through right now, I just finished chapter six. I noticed a few flaws, but not many. One was the pace was slightly too fast for my taste, because, think about it this way: when you go to barnes and noble or borders and buy a nice new book, it will take a while to get into the action, but in here, it's pretty much just the first chapter and then bang comes the action. Likewise between action, such as when Arcana and her siblings escape the police, it take... (more »)

I spent days reading this over and over again. The plot haunted me throughout the instances when I was not reading the actual words. This was extremely well written, and I'd love if you continued the story!

I almost feel bad saying that I couldn't actually find anything to remedy with constructive criticism. I feel that way because someone might think that I'm only making them feel good when there's actually something there to fix. In this instance, that is not true! This work was trul... (more »)

Wow...

I'm sorry I took so long to comment.  I searched for 'White Ribbon' and I couldn't find it, then Teen Ink re-added the 'My Contributions' thingy and I was able to find it instantly.

Just for the record, I NEVER reply to comments asking me to read their story. But you compared my story to "The Lady or the Tiger" which not only flattered me and made my big head swell, but also impressed me that you had heard of it.

Because that was definately an inspiration to m... (more »)

OMG this was totally awesome!!! This shoudl be a book...i would totally buy it!!!!!

oh, and i forgot to say i love how almost all the chapters are named after colors. i got caught in the story, i felt like i knew all the characters right away. And it was cool how instead of starting the story with a huge introduction, you just started the scene.

Ok, NOW I'm officially done with my feedback :)

i'll be sure to buy this book in barnes and noble!! ;)

Hi Emily. Thanks so much for asking me to read your story!! i enjoyed reading every chapter. You have excellent writing skills, i tell you. Of all the nice novels i imagine on the shelves of bookstores, this one would fit right in. The words weave together so beautifully. You say so much in so little words. The story.........how it was written........when i read the summary i knew it was going to be a good story. This is authentic sci fi right here. I'm enchanted, impressed. WOW *rubs eyes in... (more »)

Dear EGRAM

Yesterday, I reread the first 8 chapters of your story and then read your latest chapters.  Your latest chapters are as outstanding as the first 8.  Your characters have life and involve the reader with their problems and feelings. I can't wait to read more. This book should certainly be published!

well, this is one of those "oh my goodness" stories. It's really well thought out, and the more I read the more I like.

I think the romantic part is really nice, and the almost kind of secrecy behind everything is cool too.

I haven't finished yet (becuase of that evil thing called school) but I can't wait to read more.

Wow! This is really good! You got my attention from the very beginning, when you explained that Ori has a "sense", for a lack of better word. And then you have a scene where both parents die. You have a great start- and I just finished chapter 1.

Great job! I'll definitely continue reading.

This is amazing!!  It seems like you have this really well thought out and that you know exactly where you are going with this!  It's kind of dark but in a good way and it leaves you wanting more!

I could totally see this being a published book...I would definitley buy it!

The ribbon thing is really cool... I can't wait to figure out what all the different colors symbolize!

I also want to learn more about the tribe. This is such a cool and suspensful story! I can't wait to figure out what will happen next!