Celestial | Teen Ink

Celestial

December 28, 2010
By lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.


Summary:

Celestials and their ancient legacy have disappeared with time's passing.
Summer is one of the last remaining Celestials in the entire land of King Lance and King Slade. Once she's discovered and brought before King Slade, her Element - Fire - is taken advantage of. While Summer's being juggled between two Kingdoms, no one notices as a third Kingdom arises.
And who is the King? Not a man. It's Summer's long lost mother.
Stuck in between the Kingdoms, it's up to Summer to decide the fate of all the Kingdoms - once and for all.


lovelycheese

Celestial


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This book has 244 comments.


on Aug. 19 2011 at 4:02 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

A note to my lovely readers: 

First of all, thank you guys so much for taking the time to read and comment. Whenever I get a comment and read it, good or bad I love it either way.

I wrote Celestial a while ago, when I was 12, so when I look at this, all the errors become apparent and start screaming at me. 

So recently I've picked up this book again and started re-writing it. BUT I couldn't figure out which POV to write it in. Third person [like this draft] or first person? All opinions are welcome. Thanks in advance.

Also, I've noticed a few strange ratings. I'm trying not to be nitpicky or vain, but I'm pretty dang sure the work I put into Celestial doesn't deserve 1 out of 5 stars. If you think it does, please leave a comment as to how I can improve Celestial. I'm always looking to make my stories better.

Currently I'm writing a book tentatively named Silver Lining. I've clocked around 7,000 words [I'm a agonizingly slow writer] and once I finish Chapter Four, I'll see if I can introduce it here. I know I've said that a couple of times, but high school's starting in a couple of days, and I needa get moving. :]

Another thing: If you have an article / a novel for me to read, I usually don't have time to. But when I do, I'm pretty picky and do detailed feedback. So if you want feedback on your story, it would be great if you could do a detailed critique on Celestial, too. I'd be twice as likely to read your work, then. Think of it as a swap LOL.

And again, I feel the need to express my love for you all reading this and Celestial. I'd never imagined so many people would comment, and whenever I read them over again I got the warm tingly feeling. So thank you all a million times. You guys have motivated me to continue my passion.

 

 


on Aug. 19 2011 at 3:59 pm
BlueCannons3030 GOLD, Alleman, Iowa
15 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pain. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
-C.S. Lewis

thank you! and don't be afraid to give me constructive criticism, because I really would acknowledge anthing to make me better

on Aug. 19 2011 at 3:46 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

Thank you so much. 

Yes, I realized that, too. I had a dilemma in my head whether it was supposed to be ruby or emerald, but I guess it just came out both ways. 

No problem! I'll check it out. 


on Aug. 19 2011 at 3:43 pm
BlueCannons3030 GOLD, Alleman, Iowa
15 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pain. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
-C.S. Lewis

also I have two short stories that if you had the time to look at I'd be greatfull, they're called Avery Tollin and that old man, and Without any parachute, they're both related to depression, as they were for my language final last year, but I'd like some feedback on that, too since I'm new to Teenink and don't have any more than one comment on one poem and I'd think it awesome to get some feedback,

again-thanks! and keep writing, because your very good at it!


on Aug. 19 2011 at 3:37 pm
BlueCannons3030 GOLD, Alleman, Iowa
15 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pain. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
-C.S. Lewis

I just have to say this was amazing.

I felt like I picked that up at barnes and noble and was absolutely blown away!

one part I'm confused about is wheather the gem on her necklace is a ruby or an emerald because it was reffered to as both.

But other than that this was absolutely magnificant!

your style is great and I'm envious, and i havent finished it yet, but when I do, it would be great if you could read a novel that I'm working on, I'd be really gratefull for some feedback.


on Aug. 15 2011 at 8:35 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

Thank you! 

Haha, I didn't realize I had all that in my story. These are just scraps of words flying around in my crazy mind, haha. :]

Thank you for the lovely feedback!


on Aug. 15 2011 at 10:10 am
RhythmAndRhyme BRONZE, Rockford, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva." ~~Josh Groban

This is amazing! I've read the first three pages and I am absolutely blown away by the story. It really reads like a novel I might get at the library or a Barnes & Noble!

You've done a spectacular job giving the two main characters personality and memorable traits in such a short time so far. The premise of the whole work is intriguing and creative as well.

I can't wait for more! :)


on Jul. 31 2011 at 3:39 am
Plush_Baneling BRONZE, Denver, Colorado
2 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I will devour the world, after that the universe, and when there is nothing but me, I will devour myself"
ME!

Sorry I havnt gotten to post the story yet, been more buisy then I expected

on Jul. 17 2011 at 10:48 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

Thanks so much! 

Ahh, I have absolutely no idea how the username lovelycheese came into my crazy mind. Oh, yeah - at first, I thought you were Lauren Oliver, the author of Delirium. 

Thanks again! I'll check it out.


on Jul. 16 2011 at 9:36 pm
Laura_Oliver GOLD, Manchester, Connecticut
12 articles 2 photos 122 comments

I really love this book! Fantasy is the best (I mean Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, not Twilight). Plus LovelyCheese is such a lovely name.

Soon I might have a book out in the action-adventure category (it's part of a book, it's really fantasy but that part is a-a), so check it out when it comes in (plus my other stuff!)!!!!!


on Jul. 8 2011 at 11:03 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

Oh, no. I'm not intending for Celestial to get published, at least not now. I'm working on a newer project, where I'm piecing all the nuts and bolts together. 

Thanks for reading!


abryant said...
on Jul. 8 2011 at 10:16 am
This is great! Have you publihed the full book yet?

on Jul. 5 2011 at 9:22 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

Ahh... Yeah. I think I meant that, haha. Thanks for catching that! 

kmcan said...
on Jul. 4 2011 at 2:17 pm
kmcan, Jenks, Oklahoma
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Experience is a brutal thing, but you learn, my God, you learn." - C. S. Lewis

Hey! This was such a great story! Just in chapter 3, I was wondering if when you said something along the lines of the merchants wouldn't tell the Kingdom of the village unless the village agreed to trade with them once a year, you meant to say if the village agreed to trade with them once a year. Other than that minor thing, this was perfect. And I don't even know if that was what you meant, so please ignore that if it was.

on Jul. 1 2011 at 8:49 pm
Ladywarrior123 SILVER, San Antonio, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's like a novel. With the end ripped out. The edge of a canon. With only one way down."
-Rascal Flatts (Stand)

Your very welcome it was well deserved.

on Jul. 1 2011 at 8:43 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

Thank you so much; this totally brightened up my day. 

on Jun. 30 2011 at 7:20 pm
Ladywarrior123 SILVER, San Antonio, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's like a novel. With the end ripped out. The edge of a canon. With only one way down."
-Rascal Flatts (Stand)

Yor story was great and I can tell Its just gonna get better. Its amazing what how creative. I have always been a fan of Sci-Fi Fantasy. Im definetly a fan of this book. Keep it up.

on Jun. 25 2011 at 4:01 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

For some reason, my last comment didn't go through. Let's hope this one does. Thank you so much for reading! I'm always so happy by these comments. Currently I'm toying around with my latest project Silver Lining, which I'm looking forward to introducing onto Teen Ink.

leddy said...
on Jun. 24 2011 at 11:22 am
leddy, Yukon, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn\'t about waiting for a storm to pass, its learning to dance in the rain

Wow!! That was an amazing read. It is very well written.....I am excited to see what comes next :) :) 

on Jun. 23 2011 at 10:22 pm
lovelycheese GOLD, Cupertino, California
11 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have something to do, then do it. You can't get wasted time back." ~Ben Carson.

Thank you :]

I've been taking a break on Celestial. I'm currently working on a project tentatively called Silver Lining, about faeries in the modern day world. But with all the hierarchy and kingdoms. 

Thanks for reading !