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Code: Beyond the Screen

Janice R.
Code: Beyond the Screen
Summary:

 I was pulled from multiple strings of code to create a body that is more durable than steel, a storyline more interesting than anything in the “real world,” and an amazing set of powers and skills that would leave the mightiest kings and world leaders awestruck; except, all the avatars are like that. And so all this blather about being the very best and standing for justice and freedom and peace is a lie.





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This book has 27 comments. Post your own now!

Kyrstie said...
Oct. 11, 2015 at 11:33 am
What an interesting story plot! This well written novel could've only come from someone with quite a bit of experience in writing. You were very descriptive, and your vocabulary is impressive! I wouldn't change a thing.
 
KittyKat1419 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 28, 2015 at 3:10 pm
I didn't read all of it but it sounds really interesting! Hope I have the time to read it in the near future.
 
JtatsuThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 11, 2015 at 10:19 pm
@kingofwriters Thank you so much! I am hoping to expand this story soon, but you might have to wait a bit :)
 
kingofwriters said...
Jul. 9, 2015 at 6:41 pm
Feedback's on the thread! After reading this, I REALLY want more of the story! The imagery was absorbing and the concept is incredibly inventive and has a TON of potential. Are you planning on expanding this at all?
 
A-C-Y said...
Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:10 am
Whoa, this is incredible! The fact that the story actually took place in a computer game is just genius! I love the creativity and your way of describing the scenes and the emotions of the characters. I hope there even more after this, I can't wait to read it! :D
 
ellwist said...
Apr. 5, 2015 at 8:17 pm
This is amazing. Thank you for the read--will there be anymore or is it just a one-time thing for this character?
 
JtatsuThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 5, 2015 at 9:41 pm
Thank you for your input! As of right now, I am working on a new part, although that will likely not be posted for awhile yet.
 
JtatsuThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 16, 2015 at 5:02 pm
@BreeZephyr Thank you so much! I really appreciate the honest criticism from everyone ^^ I would really like to get editing right away, but is there a possible option for doing that on Teen Ink besides deleting, then reposting? If so, let me know.
 
BreeZephyrThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 16, 2015 at 6:30 pm
Hmm. I don't think so...I think that you'll just have to edit it on Word or something and then submit a new version. If you do resubmit I'd love to read it, though! Good luck!
 
BreeZephyrThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:01 am
Hey Jtatsu. Read the book and love the story! The premise is amazing--how did you think of that? Anyway, I told you I'd leave some constructive feedback, so since I have both some praise and some criticism, I'll just get the criticism out of the way so I can talk about what I loved about this story: -The first paragraph. Opening a story by describing a picturesque landscape is nice, but it's also been done to death, and your story is so unique that I'd hate for anyone to just assume that it's l... (more »)
 
jamie. said...
Mar. 10, 2015 at 9:55 am
OMG you are definatly a better writter than I am lol I am working on it though... The story is great everything you did was amazing you really grabbed my attention with the summary that was great and the story itself I could never compare to it I think you did a very excellent job.
 
JtatsuThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 10, 2015 at 6:54 pm
@jamie. I'm glad you liked it!
 
jamie. replied...
Mar. 11, 2015 at 8:10 am
I posted more but they aren't showing yet I posted them private and I have to wait for them so they should be better.
 
Sharkbait said...
Mar. 8, 2015 at 11:35 pm
Wow. This is a really mesmerizing story, having kept my attention through to the very end. I'm not much of a game person, but it was really interesting to think that each game has so many lives in it. I think that this would be worthy to publish when it's done, but I have a few things I must mention. First off, the first paragraph was a little confusing and out of place. I can see why you had it there, but it might help to intertwine the ideas from the first paragraph with the rest of that chapt... (more »)
 
JtatsuThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 9, 2015 at 3:12 pm
@Sharkbait Thank you for the honest feedback! I appreciate it :)
 
Amai-kunThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 26, 2015 at 1:30 pm
I'm going to do my best to tell you how good this is, because even though it's not my personal cup of tea, it's obvious you're a very talented writer. You show rather than tell, you're very descriptive, and you have a good deal of suspense as well. The one thing I would suggest is writing perhaps less purple prose, but then again, it could just be me.
 
JtatsuThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 26, 2015 at 6:50 pm
Thank you for giving me honest feedback. I really do appreciate all the effort people take to write me reviews of my story, because it shows they care about my growth as a writer ^^ Where do you believe there is purple prose? I will do the best I can to improve
 
Amai-kunThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 27, 2015 at 1:41 am
It's rather overall. I can't really give examples of where because it's just a sentence or two in most places. Just thinning it out a bit. Of course, you shouldn't take my opinion too seriously, since it's just one out of ten or so, and everyone else likes it.
 
Hetzer said...
Feb. 23, 2015 at 12:57 pm
A very interesting and original take on MMO characters. I'm not gonna lie, at first I thought this would be some kind of SAO clone, like I've been seeing literally everywhere, but I was pleasantly surprised to find something I could find myself getting into with ease. Keep updating this, I believe it has potential.
 
CaseyChickenWang This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 22, 2015 at 2:23 am
Dude, I loves this! It's so captivating and original. The biggest problem I see in teen writing is that they have a great plot that lacks detail but you don't seem to have that problem at all! I do agree with @CNBono17's comment on your characterization though. But other than that, this is an amazing piece of work and I hope you write more!
 

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