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There Can Only Be One. (Chapter One only)
September 30, 2011
Summary:
Annabelle, or Bells as she likes to be called, finds herself in a very tricky situation once her foot gets wedged into a pothold in the middle of a road. Saved by a stranger, Bell wakes up in a house unknown to her. It belonged to the man who had saved her, and she end up spending a lot of time there. Along with Blake, who's the cute son of John (her savior), and Julian, Blake's playboy cousin, lots of heat is going to go down.
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This is the first chapter only. I'll add on more if I get requests too, so please comment :)
MidniteSwirl
There Can Only Be One. (Chapter One only)
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This book has 20 comments.
TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on May. 4 2014 at 12:59 am
There can only be one comment I read while I write the comment, so it may be long. Just apologizing in advance. When you say green man and red man, it's kind of confusing. I didn't even know what you were talking about at first. You might want to clarify that. I can feel the fear that Bells is going through. Nice word choice and description. It's odd how Bells can talk to Susie when her phone is on the ground a little while away, but suit yourself. I can really feel her emotions; that's definitely a strong point of yours. Great description of the room. It's strange how her mom trusted the man so quickly, but then again her daughter was in danger and everything's in a panic right now. Johns a very realistic character. Way to go on that. I love how every adjective of Blake makes me imagine an old, homey, cozy wooden cabin. That gives me a vivid image in my head. PS love the adjective "oaky." Great description of Susie. I think it's funny how Blake is always eating. I don't know if that was done purposefully or not, but I find it funny. That "hello" from that random person creeped me out! That situation of them on the couch is really awkward, and you portrayed that well. Ick, Julian disgusts me so much. Your characters feel so real! It's amazing! I feel like things could move a bit slower, but I also feel like you've got the story moving at a good pace; I think it's a matter of opinion, honestly. Ch 2 - overall, I feel like you should incorporate their ages more. I don't feel like I know enough about the main characters. I thought you said Mom didn't know that Julian helped...? All of a sudden, she knows him now...? Louis is the cutest boy EVER. Your dialogue is just impeccable. It all feels like something thats actually plausible. Ch 3 - no! I wish you'd continue it. I desperately want to know what happens. You say you don't have a good plot, but it's better than anything I can do. I think this has lots of potential. Can't wait to check out more of your work!
monikitty12 PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 19 2014 at 9:57 pm
I wish in reality, guys could be more bold and outspoken like these. Keep writing!
lorie said...
on Mar. 19 2014 at 6:26 am
i really like that story....!!!!..i need more....:)
SmileyFace3356 said...
on Oct. 16 2013 at 7:37 pm
I suggest to draw it out a little more....more suspense and cliffhangers and you'll have audience drawn like that. Pretty good vocabulary. I want more :)
AngelPromises said...
on Feb. 16 2013 at 2:57 pm
OMG!! This is soo good you need to write more. I luv books like this
I love your story! Your plot, main idea, and guy choice is very interesting! I would love to have two hot guys fighting over me (I would probably be more of a Julian girl... but I would MOST definitely settle for a Blake :-) I hope to see that you have added more to the story shortly! Keep up the awesome work!
N8wrlder02 BRONZE said...
on Jan. 25 2013 at 1:23 pm
You write so good! I want to read more! Hope that the chapter keeps coming within a short time. 'Coz me thinks that people like us, the readers, don't deserve to wait long for another great chapter. Keep it coming!
Love_Jesus18 SILVER said...
on Jan. 25 2013 at 11:17 am
please write more!!!!! that is really good please tell me if blake and Bells get together please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SilverLuna SILVER said...
on May. 9 2012 at 9:49 am
Nicely done! Two hot guys, a spunky girl, and a beautiful venue! This first chapter definitely made me want to read more, so please, write more!(:
omg! it's so good to find someone else from australia!
anyway, i love love love love your story! it is amazing; the plot is brilliant, the characters have such great personality and your ability to story tell is really good.
i hate cliffhangers, so i can't wait to read more. i'll be checking everyday to see if there's something new.
this idea is very unique and one of a kind, and you have such a great talent to turn it into such a great piece of writing! keep up the good work!
<3
MidniteSwirl BRONZE said...
on Nov. 17 2011 at 3:17 am
Hey anyone who's reading this xD
Just to start, I'm super sorry for not posting more, I've been back at school with exams, and I'm going to England soon for a holiday, so it's been chaos organising that too.
I did write more, but it got deleted, and then I found an old story, and so I've been working on that a bit, recently.
Annnnyway, I'll try to write more, hopefully I'll get back into the swing. Anyone want the story I've been working for up? :)
Just to start, I'm super sorry for not posting more, I've been back at school with exams, and I'm going to England soon for a holiday, so it's been chaos organising that too.
I did write more, but it got deleted, and then I found an old story, and so I've been working on that a bit, recently.
Annnnyway, I'll try to write more, hopefully I'll get back into the swing. Anyone want the story I've been working for up? :)
Country_Storm_Inspired said...
on Oct. 9 2011 at 10:06 pm
Ahhhhh!!!!! I. Need. More!!
Mermaidmissy SILVER said...
on Oct. 4 2011 at 10:03 am
Your book was really good. Can you take a look at my poems please. Thanks! :)
EbbaRose said...
on Oct. 4 2011 at 3:07 am
This is really good, i love the characters! :) Please write more soon!!!
20 articles 1 photo 36 comments
Favorite Quote:
I got a ton of work to do. A SKELEton.
I need to put a little more BackBONE into it.
I deserve PUNishment.
Nyeh heh heh!