TeenInk "I'm a firm believer in Karma." - Emma Watson in Sofia Coppola's The Bling Ring featured at Cannes Film Festival... http://t.co/AtwVoR8xyT
Wed May 15, 2013 1:13pm Reply Retweet Favorite
TeenInk "If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it — I might be writing in my dreams." http://t.co/0FUP7fyJcB
Tue May 14, 2013 12:37pm Reply Retweet Favorite
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I thought the storyline was good and suspenseful. I do have some critics though. I know that a lot of people have already mentioned the spelling errors, and also the weird arrows in the text. Secondly, I feel that a lot of the writing was a little choppy and too quick from one thing to the next. I think more emotion and details should be put in so it feels more as though the reader is there seeing it all for themselves, if that makes any sense?
Hopefully I wasn't just rep... (more »)
I love the plot; it's very unique. The summary immediately intrigued me. I'd hate to say this again, but you do have a few grammatical errors. It's nothing too big, and it definitely doesn't take away from your story. :)
Hmm. What else? I think that you should try adding more descriptions and emotions. Not too much. Just a little. It'll make the story more vivid, if you know what I mean.
Great work! :)
This is an interesting story. I enjoyed the relationship you created between vampire and zombie--I'm pretty sure I haven't seen that yet. However, there are various spelling/grammar mistakes. You can always have someone else review your chapters to help check for these mistakes: a parent, a sibling, a relative, etc. Just to help with this, I've selected a few common mistakes that you've made to show what you should look for:"He is aloud to take a break, I'm not angry with Him."more »)